You need to start going to church is what you said
How the hell am i suppose to wake up out of my bed
You don't know shit about my life or anyone in it
I don't know if i could make that commitment
I don't even want to fucking go
Ill just be puttin on a fake show
I'm not changing myself like you seem to do
I ain't like that and you should of fucking knew
God is letting my grandpa be in so much fucking pain
I don't know if hes doing it just to entertain
I'm so fucking sick of what he has for my life
Does he know now, hes making me think of the knife
You don't know what the fuck Ive been through
I don't even fucking talk to you
And all of a sudden you want to change and me too
You don't know whats been going on, fuck you
You cant just stab me in the back like 4 fucking times
And expect me not to live my life in a crime
God took the 3 best friends i could ever ask for away from me
Do you think that was meant to be
First he let you back stab me in the back
When i had nothing but pain to lack
And then it was Whitney that hurt me as well
Well you know what you all can go to hell
I don't need your ass's anymore
I have better friends i didn't even ask for
I guess that he actually made right
But now i cry myself to sleep at night
Laying down in my bed wondering what i did so wrong
I lay there crying about 3 hours long
And everyone asks me why I'm so fucking tired
Pain keeps me up all night, its like I'm wired
How could i fuck up so bad to make you all do this
Sometimes i wish i didn't exist
But then i think to myself... i was nothing but a friend
And i actually meant it when i said ill be there till the end
But where the fuck is all you when i need you
Your all gossiping about what we all been through
I was there when you slit your wrist,and had bad break ups with guys
And never once i have told you any fucking lies
I told you the truth, which came straight from my heart
But your the fakes which tore our relationships apart
What kind of friend tells me its my fucking fault i did it first
That just made my fucking heart burst
You don't know how bad that made me feel
I told you and trusted you, and now my feelings i no longer can reveal
How the hell am i suppose to trust anyone ever again
Because every time i do i get hurt and start over again
Did you know my mom and dad fight almost every fucking day
And bitch whore slut cunt asshole bastard is what they seem to always say
Did you know my grandpa has cancer and soon he will die
I bet you didn't know i might not be able to say goodbye
And tell him he has been a great grandpa and the only person who cares about me
I bet u didn't know all this shit about my life.. SO LEAVE IT BE!
I have had a bad fucking life and you don't know the half
I pretend its all good and have some good laughs
I get high because i need to feel that i belong
And when I'm high i feel like I'm so fucking strong
And when it wears off, back to the depressed life
Which is going to the dresser and taking my knife
Putting it gently up to my throat
WAIT! i still got to write my suicide note
Dear Everyone who has made my life a living hell
You know you are, I'm just saying my last farewell
Thank you so much for acting like you cared
Thank you so much for never fucking being there
Thank you God for giving me a hell of a life
Thank you God for making me end my pain with my knife
Thank you to all you mother fuckers who ruined my teenage years
I have done nothing but cried millions of tears
You know who the fuck you are so don't pretend you don't
Everyone be aware of Whitney,&Ashley when they say they will always be there, because they fucking wont
Thank you for making me realize this is my fate
Don't try talking to me, YOUR TO FUCKING LATE
I want to feel the hurt, i want to feel the burn
I want all my fucking anger to now return
I want to feel like the darkest person on the earth
I bet you mother fuckers think a penny is all your now worth
LOOK WHAT THE FUCK YOU MADE ME DO
CAN YOU SEE NOW WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH
I start falling to the floor
I'M SO SORRY MOMMY AND DADDY, I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
Author notes
Written November 7th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Tear Jerking poems by dark black rose.
300 points, ended December 8, 2006, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow Me Away. by Dead Red Head.
400 points, ended November 5, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To say goodbye by BleedingBlackTears.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 80 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lets get soem pain out by Stolen memories.
1000 points, ended May 4, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poems by jamesbliss.
440 points, ended October 9, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Cry by Scene Queen----.
400 points, ended November 7, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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This is a very painful poem, and I know swears can help transfer them, but this was extremely excessive.
I couldn't even finish it, I dont mind a few but when you have like two fucks to a stanza its just plain rude.
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And ppl wonder y emos exist
u know what. i dont think anyone has the right to judge you. or what you write. not like this. i can look at ur technique and your flow but in the end poetry is thoughts that breathe and words that burn and in this poem or letter they did just that. it was perfect. it was honest and it was gripping. let me tell u i have read over 100 poems so far and to be honest my attention span was slipping and have skim read quite a few leaving minimal comments to be polite and there have been some fan fricken tastic enteries but none and i mean none have captured beaten stabbed hurt affected and still kept me reading like this. as for the swearing it fits i ususally think it detracts from a poem but not in this case. it was an exceptional poem thank you for entering well bloody done -
Ugh...
Come back when you learn how to use the caps lock. As a sidenote: the "f-bomb" loses its thunder when used every other "fucking" word. -
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i beleive her use of the "f-bomb" conveys the true anger she has... the caps lock does this as well. that is merely my opinion though. -
u dont like it then dont bother reading it.come back when u can appreciate a good poem
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omg this was absolutely great. there was so much emotion and hatred in it. it was beautifully written! loved it. thanks so much for entering it in my contest!
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Teeth grinding anger.
The anger built up is so real, and I know, because I know how it feels. When someone tels you they'll always be there for you, then you watch them cut themselves for shit, and then they go and fucking drop you like a hot cake. I know exactly what it's like to be dropped, and oh man, do I feel every inch of this poem towards that girl I try not to hate.
The language is great, it's like a thought taken from inside my mind. Very well written. The swearing, I have to say, was very appropriate. Wouldn't be the same without it.
Thank you for showing me there's other people that share the same feelings. -
This is good... My mind drifted a bit because it was so long, and I wasn't expecting the swearing with the 'momy' and 'daddy' sentiments.. But it's very well expressed... I like it, and i must admit that I have felt like this... Well done.. Thankyou for entering and good luck...
~Ash~ -
AWESOME
wow. Wow. WOW. This is the closest to a perfect depiction of a depressive, angry and suicidal frame of mind i've ever heard. This has got to be the best depressive/hate poem i've ever read. You are a brilliant author. I know these emotions well, but thats the best expression of them i've come across. Welcome to my favourites list. -
Q.Q this was sad, and I could feel the anger in it. I could also relate to this...Great work and plz do keep it up
good luck. -
This was sooooooooo deep and dark.................Hmmmm.........
This brought tears to my eyes.........
You really put a lot into this write.....'
I felt each line of it...........The emotions flew diresctly at me.......
Really it is a sad piece of work -
This is fantastic....the raw emotion, the rhyme, the flow, the length...I loved the suicide note best of all....using fuck all the time proved it a rant and made me think it kind of sounded like Eminem
I sometimes say that cause I am a big fan of Marshall Mathers This is almost too good for words....
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Oh. My. God. This poem kept me in it until the very end. It's amazing. I loved everything about it. The anger, and the hurt, and the words. Wow. It's just.. wow. Amazing job. Absolutely amazing.
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this is a powerful write, and I too hope this is not the way yo really feel, but I do like this standza you write so well and very expressive.. I want to feel the hurt, i want to feel the burn
I want all my fucking anger to now return
I want to feel like the darkest person on the earth
I bet you mother fuckers think a penny is all your now worth
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COMPLETELY FUCKING GREAT
this was really great. i don't know what to say. i can feel your pain. that is how i feel and it is so hard to know that everything you do is wrong. i am a lesbian and my mom hates it. it is so hard to be fake around her. she makes me go to church and it's even harder not to look there. -
OMG!!! i can feel all the rage anger hate and emotion out in this peice of art work1 it was great! it was so deep and sad! did u win that contest because i loved this poem!!! i'm speachless i don't know what to say exept you did a great job on wording this poem and i can some what relate to most of it! i liked the end it was like whoa!! but anyways great poem and keep it up !!!!!!!! i give you a score of 20/10!!!!~~~!!!!!~~~!!!
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haha i dont take that personal and i really am not crazy haha.. i just had so many feelings going through my head and i didnt know how else to get them across to anyone especially her when she told me i need to go to church! it pissed me off and i got so pissed... poetry is mainly the only way i get my true feelings across!!! anyway thanx so much
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well nie poem I know exactly how u fell cause I once wanted to kill myself but i knew I would find somebody that will love me and i did and iI really hope that 4 u to Never commit sicide cause it sou and the hell ainght going to do nothing 4 u but let everybody know that u was crazy please don't take that personal
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Suicide is not the answer, neither is getting high, It is obvious you need a friend, I hope you can find some one to be there for you.
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That was good shanny i liked it alot!!!!!
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This poem is so strong... It has so much hurt behind it every line pours emotion. Loved it keep the powerful, moving writes coming ~ Kate x
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wow what a powerful write. There is alot of emotion in this poem and writting is a great way to get it all out. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. Keep up the great work.
~TONYA*~ -
speechless
HOLY SHIT. that was so fucking awesome. do you really feel this way. omg, if you do. i am so sorry. i feel for you. just keep hope up. keep your spirt up. just remember. deep down inside, there is a light that never goes out. find that light. make it stronger. -
I feel the need to envoke some NickelBack lyrics- Everyone Cared
"If everyone cared and no body lied
If everyone loved, and no body cried
If everyone shared, and swallowed their pride
Would we see the day that no body died?
And I'm singing
Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, I'm alive"
It's a good song, it's something that I was thinking about as you wrote this poem. I guess it helps me to understand it also, they also have some other songs on the album, that go along with the poem that you wrote.
I loved it anyways, it had alot of emotion, even though I'm not into cussing in poetry, it wasn't too bad. I do hope that everything gets better, and I don't know what to say about God. It's whatever you believe in girlfriend. Keep writing, and try to keep your chin up.
~Amber Marie -
woah holy crap this is just wow! I mean rawr emotion to the deepest level. and oviously this is wut ur feeling advice 1 dont give up i fucking love ur stuff girl!
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i love the power and emotion and the honesty. i agree with you a hundred percent a tenfold over. i love your writing. i dont belive in god either,and a best friend of mine died last june, one is in a coma now, and another one tried to drown himself. i think u are all in the rights to feel this way. good job
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Wow. Very sad and dark and depressing. Is all of this really true? Cuz if it is, just wow. I can relate to some of it, but deffinetly not all of it. You put so much of your feelings into it and pulled out real things in your life and made it completly your own. That's what makes it different. Ya, I know what you mean about grandpa, and I'm angry with God for that too. Everyone's going to be sad and stuff when he dies and it will probably be a big mess, but I'll be happy for him too cuz he'll be out of all the pain. That's the good thing. Anyways. You did an awesome job on this. Keep up the great writing!
~Chelsea~ -
life sucks get over it!
I hope you never try to attempt suicide. It doesn' solve any of your problems! This was a great write and very emotional! I can tell you put a lot of work into this! it was awesome! i loved it! keep up the great work and good luck in the contest!
~Ashley~ -
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i think its very ignorant of you to tell someone to just "get over it" it doesnt work that way and until u have been in thier shoes and been them u cant judge how they feel,and forgive me for seeming impertinent but until someone developes a physical mutational device that can morph u into someone else i dont think u have any right to judge like that.
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VERY GOOD
WOW VERY SAD BUT GOOD I GOT CONFUSED WITH THE BUNNY!! THING BUT GOOD!! -
............well..... okay.. this is a very long and emotional write. I myself can realate to it in so many ways. IT SUCKS!! I'm sorry if this is how it all really is. If I was near you I would be the kind of friend you need. This is a great poem and amazing words tons of anger and points too. Keep writing!
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brillant!
beautiful and very sad, i luv this poem so much i almost cried! it's so emotional and each and every word was power to the heart, it got me thinking so much, about my own mother and father, and when i wrote my first suicide note, and all it said was 'i hope you're happy' and now that i think about it i don't blame them, hell i'm still sucidal as fucken hell but i could never blame them for how fucked up i am, but i bet you had your reasons!i hope you're not feeling like this anymore, but if you then i just wish you and your parents can find a way to cope. i wish things get so much better and please Shannon, (i'm guessing that's your name) please, please!!!!!, stay safe, i hope you feel better! this world wouldn't be the same without you! you're too speacial to die now, this poem is beautiful, be very proud!
~naomi brooks -
WOW. That is a awesome poem. I loved it. It made me cry which is a good thing because not many people can make me cry. It really got to me. Thank you for sharing it to me.
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Wow...very emotional very powerful.
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