Leaves in green and gold and red
Wind is blowing overhead
The summer’s gone
And autumn’s come
Winter's on the way
Thoughts of youth kept in my heart
Tearing what I've known apart:
Stumbling, fumbling
A thunder's rumbling
My life's in disarray
Memories of a warmer time
Find their way into my mind:
Dreaming, scheming
Without meaning
Longing for a brighter day
Starry nights and smoke filled air
The two of us made quite a pair:
Running, playing
Never aging
Those days have slipped away
Leaves in green and gold and red
Wind is blowing overhead
The summer’s gone
And autumn’s come
Winter's on the way
The summer’s gone
And autumn’s come
Winter's on the way"
Author notes
Edited with the help of Jeremi, Horus8. Thank you...
Written November 7th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I am not bewitched but amased.
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I am bewitched ,what a flow
very good write
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I loved the rhythm of this poem.... almost felt like singing along. Like the way it progresses too you held me from the first line.
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Waverly, Thank you so much for your feedback and taking the time to read this.
Anna -
Beautifully crafted and the imagery was super.~Waverly
Edited on Nov 14, 12:16 because ''. -
Liz, Thank you for seeing this piece for what it is. You know when we write, we sometimes wonder if the meaning will truly come across, and I can see by your comment that it has. Thank You.
Anna -
it's no problem. i love reading poetry and making comments on it. it's become more of a thing i love doing now days..
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Wordsmistress, Thank you so much... I have to admit I had some help with the rhyming scheme of it.
Anna -
Miranda, Thank you for taking time to read this poem and thank you for your comments on it.
Anna -
You read inot this quite well Sinfiend. Thank you for you time in reading this piece.
Anna -
Wow, Tricia, what a wonderful thought filled comment. I can tell you took the time to read this piece as well as write out your comment. It means so much to me Thank You!
Anna -
it makes me feel like i'm running from a lover. it's a beautiful write and made me think of white christmas trees that i want so much- so precious!
it also makes me think of an elderly aging couple spending their time together in a log cabin, at night, underneath the bright stars. ironic it is that most of us are elderly when we can actually spend quality time with our loved ones, and by that time it is too late to even do so, but at least we can make an effort to try.
anyways, a great write and i'm happy that i got the opportunity to read this.
-tricia- -
Worth the read
A lovely poem. One that gives tribute to all the seasons while referencing our lives and the simularities to the process of growing up and growing old... (ugh) ... A lovely, most perfect poem. Best of luck to you... Liz -
beautiful words. i love the metaphor in this. this is a very enchanting poem. keep on writing!
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great job, associating winter with lost love and such. nice rhyming action too! i especially liked the repetition of the last paragraph.
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Unless I am reading to deeply into this, it contains a bit of metaphor to it. The descriptions of winter struck me as a reflection of passing time of your own life, as well as the dying seasons.
Excellent descriptions in this, your words were so vivid. Everything in this had a strange kind of depth and wisdom to it, it's hard to explain. Anyways, well done. -
i really like this it sounds like a song...i really like the ryhme scheme this was a most enjoyable read...thanks you for posting!
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Thank you, it has been done. Talk with you later.
Anna -
Most assuredly, I merely endowed what you wrote a smidgeon.
I think you have quite the lyrical talent. And I'd edit for you anyday. -
Jeremi, I love it!!! You just made it click. May I use it??? Now I can hear the music I that was behind it in my head!
Anna -
Leaves in green and gold and red
Wind is blowing overhead
The summer’s gone
And autumn’s come
Winter's on the way
Thoughts of youth kept in my heart
Tearing what I've known appart:
Stumbling, fumbling
A thunder's rumbling
My life's in disaray
Memories of a warmer time
Find their way into my mind:
Dreaming, scheming
Without meaning
Longing for a brighter day
Starry nights and smoke filled air
The two of us made quite a pair:
Running, playing
Never aging
Those days have slipped away
Leaves in green and gold and red
Wind is blowing overhead
The summer’s gone
And autumn’s come
Winter's on the way"
I decided I liked 'longing' better, lol.
Edited on Nov 07, 2:39 p.m. because ''. -
I have edited it but went with...
Thoughts of youth lie in my head
There are no more tears to shed
Stumbling fumbling
Even tumbling
Life is in a disaray
Memories of a warmer time
Find their way into my mind
Dreaming scheming
Without meaning
Looking toward a brighter day
Edited on Nov 07, 2:12 p.m. because ''. -
Thank you for looking at this. I do so appreciate it. Now comes the hard part of trying to edit it without losing what I wrote. I will fool around with it and see what I can come up with. Again, thank you!
Anna -
It's very good, my only comment is that every last line in each stanza should end rhyming with 'way'. try a 'stay', and a 'say' in the middle stanzas.
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