Come now, Precious; no need to be afraid
I can see the guilt and fear in your eyes
so I won't be angry if you've disobeyed.
Come now, Precious; no need to be afraid
A punishment will have to be administered
because rules are set to be followed.
Come now, Precious; no need to be afraid
I can see the guilt and fear in your eyes
Author notes
Written November 6th, 2005
In a list
- Triolankas • next in list
- My Characters Along With Others • next in list
- Master/Pet Relations • next in list
- The Sharazon Chronicles • next in list
- Bdsm • next in list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry Contest by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended November 10, 2005, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Probably a whipping...
Shh!
I didn't just say that! *shifty eyes*
Edited on Nov 06, 7:55 p.m. because ''. -
oh man, I really wanted to see the punishment part
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Short poems are fun...as are short stories.
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*sighs* Lookit you, cramming all kinds of substance and emotion into all sorts of short poems. I find myself envying you once more, lovely.
-me -
Thank you for your advice and comment. I decided to try what you suggested. I thought you might enjoy something like this and I'm quite obsessed with the subject these days. Hope you're having lots of fun with your contest. I was all too glad to enter a fresh write.
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Maybe change "but" with another word like "so". Heck, you could even place a period after "followed", and start a new sentence with "So" and then run into the next line. All in all I like this, and appreciate the new write! Just the word "but" that really stuck for me, probably due to "because" at the beginning of the same line. Too many "b"s at work in a short work. Otherwise, very very enjoyable.
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That was meant to be three dots and a smiley!!
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Ha...ha..
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Because I'm continuously writing about it?
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This is a lovely write. I've never read a triolet or whatever it's called so...sorry.
I don't have any advise to give. It's a great read though...
why am I getting into all these pet poems, ey?!
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