The black goddess rises in shadow,
a fallen angel born in the dead of night;
bringing with her darkness and pain,
destruction of all things light.
Her long, wispy hair flows in the wind
like snakes, as she takes her first deadly breath,
and all living things around her
fall from her deep breathing death.
Her eyes so empty and hollow,
a soul there cannot be found;
as black as the night sky above her,
and in her chest is no sound
of a beating heart for she isn't alive,
nor did she ever live before this.
Crawling up from the depths of hell
to steal souls with each cold kiss.
The stars collide and burst at her glance,
the moon now is the only light
guiding her through the darkness
to the souls she will steal tonight.
Nowhere is safe to hide from her hatred,
not a single soul to claim will she miss.
The black goddess has risen in shadow tonight,
and she's coming to give you a kiss.
Author notes
This poem won second place in the I Want a AP Family of my Own. 
contest by Obsidian Words and ~My 1st Contest!!!~ [Contest] by xxsatanicangelxx; and first place in the Looking for AP Family! Pre-writes Allowed! Different From Most contest by DarkenedAuras.
Written November 5th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
-
This was a very good poem, it reminds me of the Egyptians fear of the black death. To steal the life of its victims in the middle of the night. Well done.
-
-
Thank you so much!!!
I have a sequel to it, called 'The Black Goddess Conquers'. Don't think it's as good as this one, but oh well. I like it. lol Thanks again!
-
-
GOOD GOOD job!
-
Thanks very much!
-
wow i love the flow of the rhymes and everything that i believe is a kiss few want anyway i loved it and lots opf luck in this awsome contest
from vanyel
-
Thanks! Glad you liked it.
-
Wow this flows very well. Very dark and scary. Gonna have to watch who I kiss tonight!! Great writing. Great entry, thanks. Good luck! Jeannie D Hunter
-
Talented!
I love it. It rhymes well and has a smooth rhythm. It's better than mine though mine's not bad! Hope you win. I think this one is the best. -
amazing
wow, this is breathtaking! i liked it a lot and thanks for entering
good luck!
~*~Hailee~*~ -
Okay I took care of the unreadable-ness of my poem. lol
-
Good!
The main problem of this poem was that it was UNREADABLE.You should change the background!I could hardly see a thing and I had to strain my eyes to read.Anyway about the poem it was quite good,but spoilt due to the text colour.I liked your version of this godess rising and the depths of hell.Seems like something I may write.This ine was particularly good in my view:
fall from her deep breathing death.
But I just wanted to know how can the poor woman breathe when she's dead?Anyways thanks for your entry and do something of the background!
Score:8.0 -
this is suck a good poem! i loved the ryhm of it! great job, good luck, and thankyou sooo much for entering my contest!!!
Kk -
hehe Well, first off, good luck in the contest! And that IS a weird coincidence. Thanks very much.
-
Incredible!
I really can't believe how parallel this is to the poem I just wrote for your crimson door contest! I swear I didn't read this first! But you describe almost exactly the charachter I envisioned as the Soul Parasite...Woooooooo...spooky! So I obviously LOVE this piece!!!!! -
Thanks very much!!!
-
Wonderfully Terrific
"Your darkness lies within"...and it flows out in your poems, i really personally like it. You do a terrific job of describing how sinister she really is. Fantastic. -
Excellent dark write.
You do know how to write a really good dark write and I do not write them myself but it is always interesting to sit down and read one that sends those chills up your spine. Hmm this will probably be a good contest to read indeed. -
LOL Well, I'm glad you like my poetry so much! Yeah, I think we'd be pretty good relatives....hehe. I'll be looking forward to reading your entries like I did with the last cdontest! Good luck with it.
-
Dang man I was syked to see that you entered my contest and once again I am not dissappointed...you have another perfect 10 so you have a great chance of going home with something...especially right now...although there is 2 weeks...but hey with a perfect 10 how much better can you do lol, if I get too many perfect 10's I will have a bunch of HM's lol But I love this poem and I love your work so I think we'd be perfect AP family I'll let you know when this is over
-
Thanks. And you're welcome!
-
Interesting. Thanks for entering.
-
Thanks very much!
-
Wow, thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much.
-
This is a good dark write, and so much emotion in this, good luck with this contest, keep up the awesome poetry!!!
-
Wow, this is fantasically dark. The ending couldn't be better. The darkness of it all makes it so beautiful to me, but hat's the way I am. You did a brillant job with this piece, and I wouldn't change a thing to it. I'd say good luck in my conest, but I don't feel I have too. ^^
-
Simply wonderful, and DARK I might add! I loved every inch of it, and even took the time to have fun reading it aloud. It was so lovely, and the weirdest thing ever, is that it kind of resembles the Goddess in my story! That made it all even more beautiful. It caught my eye, and I'm glad I clicked- GOOD JOB!
-lost -
I love it. The flow was amazing and I was wrapped all up in the words. I got excited when I was reading it. Write more, more, more. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Cool. this is awesome.
-
Thanks!!!
-
hehe Thank you! I'm thinking about adding on to it, or creating a 'volume 2' type thing, but I dunno. Don't want too much of a good thing.
-
wow! what a awesome poem! this reminds me of some of my older poems... only it's better! I had a saga going about a character called "She" who was alot like this... I'll send you the links!
"The stars collide and burst at her glance,
the moon now is the only light
guiding her through the darkness"
DEFINATELY THE BEST PART.... or maybe...
"not a single soul to claim will she miss.
The black goddess has risen in shadow tonight,
and she's coming to give you a kiss."
DEFINATELY THE BEST PART. lol! the entire thing is really good, my favorite by you so far!
rabid
-
good write with this piece and does make a nice word form to a nice written poem..good job..Linda
-
Perfection
This is an amazing poem. Extremely dark, sullen, and deadly. I like it, I like it. The visualization, the flow, the darkness. I felt it all. You wrote a terrific and great poetic piece of writing. I love it.
Well, live on and live again. Cya -
Oh, this is just awesome! Great imagery. This is a beautiful dark fantasy. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!
-
Kick ass!!!I loved this poem....Great write...
Adding your comment:
1 - 35 of 35
