Stay in the rain, my love, sweet love
and let it wash the blood away.
As moonbeams caress your grief bathed face
and stars fall from the milky way.
Stay in the rain while the icy beads
peck at your tender soul.
Dream of the child you’ll carry to term
and know that you’ll someday be whole.
Stay in the rain with me, my heart
and I’ll hold you in my embrace
Cry with me as the sun comes up
and pray for our draining grace.
Stay in the rain as you morn and wail
for the child that should have been ours
let the rain douse the fire of loss
and soothe the enduring scars.
Stay in the rain while water soaks
into your hollow skin.
Till it cleans the darkness of sorrow out
and fills you up again.
Stay in the rain, my love, sweet love
for I can’t ease your weeping.
I’ll stay here and hold you gathered near
Till our baby is safe in God’s keeping.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
November 5, 2005
Author notes
I wrote this after I suspected that I'd had an early miscarriage. It was only years later that I got up the nerve to discus it wiyh my Dr who confirmed (he'd done a blood test) that I was correct.
Please feel free to let me know what you really think and if you have suggestions for improving this poem as it's one I hope to use in my book.
Written November 5th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Contest 11: Do The Titles Justice! by .
300 points, ended November 13, 2005, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Image and Visions:
I certainly must have failed somewhere if you thought my poem was about abortion as opposed to the unwanted loss of a pregnancy. I was attempting to write a poem about a man giving his wife comfort as they went through the loss of their child. He was trying to assure her even as this child was leaving her body that someday they “would“ have a child. But for now all he could do was hold her and let her cry and mourn as the child they’d longed for was taken by God. I guess I’ll have to see if there is a way I can make that more clear. Since this poem is for a book of infertility poetry I’m working on, it may be that the meaning will be clearer to those who might eventually read it. As for your suggestion that I shorten it a bit, I’ll have to look into that. This was my first draft and I haven’t given it a harsh look to see if it was redundant. I will take a look at the poem you suggested. Thank you for taking the time to comment on this. Patti -
Angel I thought this was overall pretty good, it took me a bit to grasp the rain in its entirity, but you closed that well at the end. It appeared to talk about abortion as you suggested but your author notes lent a sad beautiful tone. You might think about the length a little. maybe cutting out some parts that seem to keep pushing the point. I did enjoy your write and I did a piece about God's nursey you might like to read. image and Visions
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This is so sad... I'm not a Christian or anything, but i don't mind the reference to god at the end. Because it wasn't overused like a lot of people do, and besides- it shows a strong belief that the baby will be okay. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck.
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beautiful write . nice tone and good flow.This poemwas written with so much emotion and it all shows in the writing . keep up good write
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wow this was very deep. it was so sad. it hit me hard because my mother has had a miscarrige and i know how depressed she got after it. This poem is absoluetely amazing, you did a fantastic job and i hope evrything works out with you
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Powerful.More people should see this poem. I have no personal experience and I can only imagine what it must feel like. I know my mother had trouble, but eventually she did succeed, (or else how would I be writing this) and I have a sister. Don't stop hoping.
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amazing!!
I agree with Flutterby. this poem is perfect. it touched me. i hope that you have a child of your own!! this poem was written with so much emotion and it all shows in the writing and your words make me feel everything. this poem is amazing! wow! -
Wow deep and very emotional, I can so relate to this, my sister has PCOS and I feel for her in every way, shape and form, I will carry a child for her if that is what it takes to see her holding a baby of her own in her arms, all she has wanted is to be a mother and it breaks my heart that she can't.. So thankyou for sharing and touching my heart, and good luck, and I wouldn't change anything with this poem, it is straight from your heart why would you want to change that, you don't need to....
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