My gaze fell upon my love
one I desire
my heart is a dove
bursting from my chest.
gently gliding above
higher higher it soars
taking me to highest clouds
air so sweet in my nostrils;
in my lungs
that holy smell that loves me
touches holds protects me
here above, birds are my kin
we whisper
sharing a connection
shared by no others
I am a bird; I belong
suddenly slowly unknowingly
the dove becomes a raven
pecking tearing ripping
it has one purpose alone
to rid me of all joy
to fill my eyes with tears
oh this illness it inflicts
is there no cure?
plummeting down from
that crystal place
the sour smell weighs heaver than
any burden
all that the raven left
were memories of that
sweet dove
to forever torture my soul
Author notes
I chose this for the contest, becaues, it fits the description exactally, of love being wonderful then, ending sad.
You Bit Me On The Nose, You Dork! I would like the trophy siver or bronze, really just want a trophy.
Written November 5th, 2005
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1 - 11 of 11
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Awesome poem. It symbolized love perfectly... At first, beautiful and full of grade- Then it turns ugly and hateful, full of revenge and spite. Keep it up.
Best of wishes
Tiffany
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i do like this piece its good dark and deep just what i asked for- in the rules you missed something though- you forgot to add something in your comment box..
Sarah -
Reminds me of the song "Trailer" by a band called Lareine. Actually, it's very close. But i'm not saying you copied because i doubt you've even heard of them. Hm. XD
But this.. this is beautiful in it's own way. I love the idea you portrayed- your heart as a bird. A dove, no less. Good luck in the contest. (: -
awesome write
wow a very sweet and powerful write.. touching the heart of love.. great job. thank you for sharing your words with me again. -
powerful write, especially love the way how you use the metaphor of a dove/raven to express how things went. Sorry to hear your loss. Sweet rhymes too. Keep the good work up.
+Mick+ -
i loved the ending....i think its wraps up the poem perfectly
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wow! this is a great poem! i really loved! what a flow! it really created a pic in my mind. just WONDERFUL! keep it up and never let the world get u down about how u write! ttyl
~Netta~ -
thank you.
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Awesome
Very nice, the emotions burst out at the reader. Great job! -Pasion -
Ooooh, very beautiful. Loved the metaphors. I want a glass dove! My only criticism is that 'sore' should be 'soar'.
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this is good I liked it alot and I could feel your emotions, thank you for entering this!
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