Is FAT CAT Too Fat?
In the Vet's Office---
FAT CAT:
Regarding my weight, what have you found?
Have I gotten any bigger around?
During this year, my fifth since my sixth birth,
Have I increased the size of my girth?
THE VET:
Ah....
FAT CAT:
Don't tell me, I don't want to know.
I have not looked in a mirror for months!
I avoid my reflection everywhere I go
Last I looked, thought I had the mumps.
THE VET:
Well, Fat Cat, I believe that
You've eaten too much Cat Food.
If you eat the food of Tiki Cat
You'll die right away -- you are screwed.
FAT CAT:
I'm going to die then, because, yes I did,
Did eat some Tiki Cat cat food.
It always worked when I made a bid
To get a lady in the right mood.
The Vet:
Now, Fat Cat, you're all done with that,
You must now stay in bed till you're dead.
I'll call for a priest before you're deceased
For a death bed redemption instead.
Fat Cat died, so now he is living life seven
the incorrigible
FAT CAT
Author notes
Written November 4th, 2005
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If he still has lives to go, then he won't be too upset about it. Will he be fat in the next life? Alice Cat and I are both wondering about this since we too are a bit too round though I have seen much bigger cats and people.
Pandy Cat probably feels quite smug since she has the sort of metabolism that keeps her slim, at the age of 13.
Thank you for this enjoyable write.
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I hope poor Fat Cat didn't really die!!!!! I had a cat who was immensely fat and we took him to the vet who promptly pronounced him on a severe diet. Next time we brought him in, without feeding him so much, he was even fatter! We didn't know what to do! Well, a few months later the vet called us to apologize. He said "I looked, and I looked, and I suddenly realized that I had vaccinated this cat three times this year! Well, I took a photo, and walked from house to house in our neighborhood, and found out that Victor had domesticated not just three but several of our neighbors, had a different name in each house, catnip toys galore and anything any cat could wish for. Needless to say we all put him on a diet :he had elegant treats, but a little less at every meal!
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