streaming clouds
radiating from faces
like heat pulsing from a wood burning stove
warming little toes
or scorching mortal hearts
flowing notes
of keys of cymbals
of strings of lungs
in ears all
churn together in a tasty soup
all may taste, all may eat
rapid rivers
of death and decay
slowly washing away
matter substance soul and breath
reaps the new
plants the old
oh what is this world?
can you see?
Author notes
Tell me what to change...does it sound ok, flow well?
Written October 31st, 2005
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Comments
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Wow, your use of words is outstanding. Good poem, similes and methapors
great! keep it up and I'll keep reading
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that was a great write.
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to me it flows well, though understanding it was another problem. Due to reading mostly rhymes, this caught me off guard, yet it still bewildered me because it's good and it proves a major point.
Good job!
-lost *thanks for commenting my poem!*
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