Hello, Dad, I’m Your Test Tube Baby! (Adult Humor) by wbiro at All poetry

Hello, Dad,

I’m your Test Tube Baby!

though I look like a guy,

I’m really a lady...

Just kidding, Dad!

I have your strange sense of humor-

just one advantage of being

your test tube blooper...!

But I am quite curious,

my wonderful Dad,

I have no answer yet,

and I'm really quite sad-

not knowing just how

I came to being

and just how the sperm came

out of your wiggly thing-

did they wing your wang or just beat your meat?

Without this knowledge, Dad, I'm incomplete...

Were you reading Playboy or Mad Magazine?

I’m just dying to know how I came to being...

Hmmm, you’re getting pale, Dad,

so I will desist,

but I’ll bet it was fun,

considering your flexible wrist…

and what about Mom,

what did she think

as your thang turned from red

to blue-green to pink?

Well, I’m curious, Dad,

for I have your brains,

(when God passed those out,

I didn’t stand in the rain!)

although I crawled from a tube

of your sticky white goo,

I’ve turned out quite well,

and I take after you...!

There’s just one small thing

I must tell you now,

so sit down for this,

and don’t have a cow:

They spilled all the eggs

in my test tube, you see,

now there are two hundred twenty five million of me...

Say ‘Hello!’ to all of your new science-spawned kids!

They are as curious and as cuddly

as lil' old me,

You’ll have to tell your story

over and over you see,

but isn’t it nice, Dad, to know

there are millions of me!?

Author notes

For Imme, who needs a laugh... if I failed here, I will try, try again...!
Picture from Imme's page... idea from what it reminded me of!
Written November 4th, 2005

In a list

What did you think

Comments

1 - 88 of 88

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
wbiro
December 21, 2005
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thanks, Don... for the hysterical rating!
Edited on Dec 21, 8:34 p.m. because ''.
Dragon Tamer
December 21, 2005
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Hysterical
This had me LMAO It is completely hysterical.Thank you for the laugh...I now know where to visit when I need to laugh myself!
wbiro
November 23, 2005
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Thank you, lovesick! A high compliment indeed!
Dreamer09
November 5, 2005
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This was really funny. I read it and i was like what the heck an i just started to laugh. Funny write!
Barb Davidson
November 5, 2005
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Yeah how sad is that, 3 and a half years and i still come on here!
no---one
November 5, 2005
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still laughing! stunning.
Sandi Alford
November 5, 2005
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Now that's musing!
hehehee, I was looking for a chuckle and I got it here!
This was brilliant to say the least, I like your wit!

keep 'um commin'! Sandi
JD Elix
November 4, 2005
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LOVED IT
nice
chimaera
November 4, 2005
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Totally hilarious - I'm not sure what else to say!
LovinCharmer
November 4, 2005
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Excellent
From your brotheer in sperm...lolol..I really loved this, laughed outloud. I really like your graphics too. Wish I could learn how to get those smiley's, do those graphics. It adds so much to your poetry and lyric. Maybe one of these day's if you get the chance you would be kind enough to at least tell me how to do it. I would deeply appreciate it. Thanks for a really great write and the belly laugh..
SexyAngel0418
November 4, 2005
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LOL... This is great AP daddy... but I didn't come from a test tube did I??? If I did, I will cry... ... LOL.. Great job!!!

Hugs,
Beth
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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BEL! lol well, to make you smile is a treat indeed!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Tink, glad to have cheered up your day! Now if only I could cheer up vini! lol Take care!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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yes, petepsy (pete?) there is something 'British' about this humor (humour!) so maybe a movie produced over there! lol thanks...
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Candlelight, glad you enjoyed my test tube babies piece, and welcome to AP!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, lacey (have Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn' playing in my head- now how did that get in there?) lol (my 15 year old daughter love's that song, too! ) Glad to have brought you a smile today, and that your future is brighter, and that you've returned to AP!
Celticmoon
November 4, 2005
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OMG!!!
You my dear man are completely insane but I love you anyway
This was just too funny. From start to finish.......totally hysterical. Your off the wall humor never ceases to amaze me nor fails to make me laugh even if I don't want to.

So I thank you my dear for the much needed laugh.

Blessings
Bel
Ms Tinkerbell
November 4, 2005
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applaud indeed ... wonderful idea, great humour ... I laughed and laughed whilst reading this Amazing pic you have taken too and the layout adds to its mystique
Awesome write hun, definately cheered my day up
Tink
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thanks, Mr. Sax! lol I see you have a funnybone in you, too!
Desire
November 4, 2005
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Different is good and I likey...
Thanks for sharing over a million of you...
petepsy
November 4, 2005
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Well it's an experience i've never submitted to, but the thought of some poor surrogate donor who's had a test tube spill to be the father of a million could be the subject of a comedy program. Imagine if he had to pay allowances out lol.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Desire, glad to have brought you something different! lol
Candlelight Chaos
November 4, 2005
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LOL. this was great. I really liked the creativity to make this. Keep up the great work!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks ICULookn, glad you got a chuckle out this!
fmvocalist
November 4, 2005
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hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.wow that had me laughing so hard i just had to put it into words. very creative and interesting...it had a great rhyming scheme too. i love the structure of the piece as well and the perspective of it all...great job i hope to read more in the future

much luck and love,
**Lacey Micalee**
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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glad you enjoyed it, purple! That would be a million times a million questions, because just one would have a million! lol
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Well, glad you derived something out of this poem, Killer, being who you are! Yes, the key word here is 'wonderment'! And welcome to AP!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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glad you enjoyed my test tube babies, Ms. Bunny! The oriental characters aren't part of the poem, so it's some setting with your browser- makes me think you're into anime! lol
XxXAtreyuKingXxX
November 4, 2005
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Wow, i am speechless. It was funny as hell
Desire
November 4, 2005
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Tooooooooo funny

and I thought I was a test tube baby
Funny write you have spawned here...Very creative with the setup I must say...
Awesome pic...that gif is enticing...I was thinking...
Self-did I look like that.....
Keep them coming and look forward to reading more...
Couldn't help but click the featured...Test tubing is one of my past times
Desire
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thank you, Tor, and let me staple you back together if you burst some stitches! Glad you enjoyed my test tube babies!
ICULookn
November 4, 2005
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This is true adult humor, thansk for sharing your unique pen with us here. you most certainly gave me a chuckle when needed. You title is an excellent choice and ned to say your background is wonderful indeed.

blessing

ICUlookn
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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My new Sis! Thanks, Lyrical Soul, glad you enjoyed my test tube babies, and always glad to cheer my sis up!
purplelirpa
November 4, 2005
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this is awesome. And to think, a million of those persistent questions. awesome.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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glad you enjoyed test tube babies, Sara! Too bad it's adult humor, you could have used it as a class assignment!
Killer Of Time
November 4, 2005
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Hillarious
I found every line of this poem thrilling. I am a "test-tube baby" well, perhaps not. I had a sperm donor. I had those exact same questions about him and I think you did a wonderful job portraying the wonderment of the individuals who had similar situations as mine. Bravo I say, Bravo!
Harlequin Bunny
November 4, 2005
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It's a bit confusing to have it keep switching to some kind of oriental characters every time you use an apostraphe .. is that just me, or is it intentional?
Regardless, this is a really cute poem .. Looks like you put a lot of effort into the visual aspect, too!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Image and Visions, glad you enjoyed test tube babies, and welcome to AP!
staplexmextogether
November 4, 2005
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I laughed so hard I fell off my chair! Well done blimmin' funny
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Jai Shri Krishna, Neha! Glad you enjoyed my test tube babies!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thanks, Molly, yes, it's nice to stretch the muse in different directions, it makes life interesting! (but you already know that!)
Lyrical Soul
November 4, 2005
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Holy Cow Bro!!!! Sheesh! I"m trying to comment and I can't... You silly goose. All I have to say is ---->

~Lyrical
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thanks, Barb, to make someone smile who's been on AP over three and a half years like yourself is a feat indeed! (and one who has her own adult humor list! lol
KermitsWoman
November 4, 2005
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OMFG THAT IS SO F'IN FUCK GOD I
LOVED THIS POEM!!!
YOU REALLY MADE IT FUNNY
GOOD JOB PERSON!!!!
OMFG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING NOW WOW
WELL TAKE CARE!!!
LOVE ALWAYS WITH KISSES AND HUGS
~~Sara~~
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks tony glad a guy got something out of my test tube babies here! yes, beware the test tube! lol
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thank you, Sonja, glad you enjoyed my test tube babies! and much more success in your own writing as well!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, cuz, yes, I tried to humanize the poor little critters a bit!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, heart, glad you enjoyed my test tube babies!
Image and Visions
November 4, 2005
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Wbiro, what a great statire on htis subject, yet points told in a abstract and humorous way, good job my friend, image and Visions
Neha Sharma
November 4, 2005
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what a wonderful amusing poem... It really made me giggle till the end... and the end turned out to be a bit more whacky..
rest is good and funny... a wonderful piece of poetry..
keep it up!!!
Neha
Molly Densmore
November 4, 2005
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Excellent!!! I loved this and I like the background. This was humorus and lighthearted. A wonderful poem and the idea of the test tube baby was excellent. I really ejoyed this write, Thanks friend for sharing this.
Barb Davidson
November 4, 2005
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A very amusing look at what for some men must be a very worrying time!

Barb

Better to just be a blood donor!
Abandoned Angel
November 4, 2005
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awesum a million babies thats funny red to blue to pink thats funny wing ur wang or beat ur meat thats funny u know wat u get 30 roses 4 a funny poem pleaze rite more

Tony
Sonja
November 4, 2005
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That was really funny, but at the same very sad. Some part of "this" science could be interesting chalenge, but after all, as you said:

isn’t it nice, Dad, to have a million new friends!

Nice writen.
~Sonja~
CountryCousin
November 4, 2005
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Well I thought it was funny.
Okay and well it was funny and you know what I image that the hypothetical baby just might ask that.
Heart-Shaped Box
November 4, 2005
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total Nirvana... very cool
How can i cooment on such a funny poem, and a truly unique piece of work, it was aswome doen't sum it up, oh well, i hope to see more hummor from you
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thank you kindly, Linda, glad you enjoyed my little journey into science!
misticmoonlite
November 4, 2005
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well! I must say very unusual loved it laughed then got my bud to read it and he laughed himself silly.. all those lil ones ,tank goodness no food is needed, with all those little indentations running around..lol..good one indeed,never cease to amaze me..pen on my friend..Linda
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Levesta, and welcome to AP, a fine place to lose your mine! lol
Legend
November 4, 2005
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fantastic
What a truly wonderful piece I loved the way you set this out and the fact that you manage to do it with rhyme was even more impressive, that point could so easily have been missed if it wasn't read properly I enjoyed this immensely thank you for sharing it. A great piece of writing
Levesta
November 4, 2005
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THAT WAS TO FUNNY LOVE THE ENDING
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thank you for your compliments, Anna! and I just can't get enough of those knuffel's!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thank you very much, VG!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Well, after Googling Kerr for a while- Wayne Kerr, Sir Wayne Kerr, just plain old Kerr... one last glance at your comment and... Eureka! lol
Edited on Nov 04, 5:11 because ''.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thanks, poetesse, yes, there were several issues touched on there, like God, science, the psyche of a test tube person, how much they're like their parents, what the encounter would be like lacking all inhibitions... lol
Cyber Artist
November 4, 2005
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This explains you pension for the little ones millions of them and your BIG AP Family But this poem was one big (censored by a MODERATOR) I laughed until I filled a jar (with tears ) well done Sir Wayne you sure your last name isn’t Kerr
Paul
VGwritesalot
November 4, 2005
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*bows deeply*
Oh god this was hilarious! Props to you! Hahaha...
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, Jayda, glad I gave you a chuckle... as for Dad? I don't think he wanted to tell his story even once! lol
Edited on Nov 04, 5:03 because ''.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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thanks, plinky! Yes, imagine, a million of the little critters!
Anna Emkah
November 4, 2005
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This was really fun.... My oh my, I had a good laugh about this. NB. You must be an Alien. You can't be conceived in a test tube, you must be from a space shuttle. Your big brain would never fit in such a small tube. Now I also understand why you had a face lift. Of course you would adapt to an ordinary American in stead of looking like an Alien. Ah, this makes sense. lol. Seriously though... this was a very good write in its sort. My compliments. Anna.
Another knuffel for you.
elemental angel
November 4, 2005
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I really enjoyed the humour of this piece although it could be taken in quite a sad way aswell. I love the originality of the layout. I think this is a very unique piece for style and content. Well done and keep up the good work
Jayda1313
November 4, 2005
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Humorous Extraneous!!!!
Thank you for starting my day off with some cute humor. I enjoyed reading this it really gave me a chuckle this morning. It would be really funny to see what "Dad" has to say while responding to this curious little one!
plinkyponk
November 4, 2005
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a million children yep this is sure to give imme a laff it did me wang is such a twangy word i liked it when you did that its a good idea makes it more funny somehow...
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thank you, and very nice names you have (real and AP!), crisstiena! and I noticed you have a few of my AP family members in your favorite's list! zt's contest, hmmm... well, he may have had enough of me after reading my moderator poem! lol
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Thanks, Cheryl, glad I could brighten your day! (night?) lol
crisstiena
November 4, 2005
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Woah! I love this. So original and funny/sad.
A true interpretation of what could well happen.
Very creative and brilliantly written and put together.
I am applauding.
best wishes ~ crisstiena
PS You should enter this in zt's contest.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Glad you enjoyed my little foray into in-vitro fertilization, NoWay!
ea
November 4, 2005
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pretty hilarious and delightful layout.
whispersoftly
November 4, 2005
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MrWibro lol this made me chuckle having read one about testtube surfing sperm just now lol!!! (hopes its not an omen kids bleughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!) the rhythm to this was brillaint and well its humourous and i like the layout! well done yet another BRILLIANT write xx Cheryl
Edited on Nov 04, 4:05 because ''.
NoWayJo
November 4, 2005
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lol...I this was better than humor, it was an actual poem! i loved the test-tube appearance in your formatting of this poem. initially i thought "Dad" might be having septuplets--(7???), but you really did a wonderful job in this write! gosh, there just has to be a test-tube baby contest out here somewhere in which can enter this poem!

Jo
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Ohhhh!!!! Just my luck, Pastor Sledge... you are my second reader for a rare Adult Humor piece by me...! Ahhhhh! lol I feel divine intervention here!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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I know I said I was turning in, sweet, but I had that 'urge' to write something before the day was out... and humoring Imme was on the backburner... so... this is what occurs!
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Hmmm, yes, although it is categorized as 'adult humor', that doesn't show up in the featured area, montez, good point... I must modify the title...
Edited on Nov 04, 3:55 because ''.
FallingSideways
November 4, 2005
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I have a few questions...
I think we all are always in need of a laugh and u accomplished just that here.
~Swt
montez
November 4, 2005
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Well, I must applaud this most innovative of works, though the subject of masturbation I find rather inappropriate, particularly to the lady readers.
However, it's written in fun, and is unique.
Well done.
Robin
tlsledge
November 4, 2005
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Rather humorous.Excellent flow throughout the poem. Good rhyming. Interesting content. Great ending.
wbiro
November 4, 2005
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Well, first an applause for the honorary recipient of this endeavor... and I was getting worried... 3 minutes passes after your 'view', and no comment... then 6 minutes... I was thinking maybe this wasn't your type of humor, or worse...! Well, it is a relief you enjoyed it as such!
imonlyme7
November 4, 2005
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I laughed all the way through! Sometimes you shock me then I remember oh it's you, and shock turns to laughter! I love what you did with this pic awesome job...now you make me think maybe I should have held a image contest with this one....I have a few more, so who knows....maybe you just inspired me to do a contest! I love the poem!!