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Voice of the Apple

Noise of it all
Shining space
Between shadow sun
And opposite's end
Life grows
Toppling
To the sky
In glistening
Majesty
Cabbie
Ranting greetings
In a foreign
Language
Texas grown
Cajun girls
Can't understand
Not what she
Imagined from
The black on
White of books
Read halfway
Or magazines of
Thumb through
Pictures
West Side Story
Didn't
Prepare her
For this
The noise
Of it all
They think
It's hot here
Inner giggle
Whispers
Not as hot
As Texas

Author notes


Written November 3rd, 2005

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Charles
    November 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you from my heart Thistle for your impressive and encouraging comments. Your are deeply appreciated.
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
    Charles

  • Shining Twilight
    November 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you wrote this! your form is really effective, and it got me to keep on reading And about your content, I've never been to Texas lol but if it's any hotter than in Egypt I'll probably not be able to handle it lol! It's nice you compare your own 'environment' ,if you could call it like that, with nyc makes it more personal, you can read that between the lines. Well thanks for entering my contest and good luck! `Marjan


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for the comment. It comes very much from my own imaginings. I havent spent a lot of time in really big cities. So I can only imagine the enormity of it all. The only thing I be pretty sure of -- it is probably hotter in Texas--


  • mad hattie
    November 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is great. It reminds me of when I fist visited NYC in 2000. Will be back to read more..

    peace,
    Justine

  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oops. You are right. It should be prepare. I will fix it Thanks for noticing and thanks so much for your comments.

  • deleted all poems
    November 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    really good, sweet style indeed. I wish you the best of luck in this contest.
    "magazines of
    Thumb through
    Pictures" totally superb. My only problem with the whole piece is in the lines:
    "West Side Story
    Didn't
    Prepared her" should that not be prepare? or should I be reading this as if there is a period after didn't? that's the only thing I stumbled over and couldn't understand. totally groovy though.
    Eryn

1 - 6 of 6