1. What is poetry?
Poetry is a form of artistic expression conveyed by word painting. Recognition of art is considered to be subjective to the viewer, and poems are not an exception to this rule. I consider true poetry to be an intelligent manipulation of words and their connotations to form an image or an idea that is larger than the sum of the words alone. Poetry can be used to express an emotion or to lend emotion to something mundane. It also serves to build a picture of something in a way that unstructured words cannot. Poetic constructs like rhyme and rhythym are intended to make the poetry easy to read aloud and, similarly, easier to absorb.
To me, poetry is a release of both emotion and concept. It allows me to express myself in a way that can be appreciated by others.
2. Poem analysis
This poem is about my burial wishes. Basically, it states that I would rather be interred beneath a tree that others may take some pleasure from than to be buried in a graveyard under a stone.
The first stanza introduces my distaste for a traditional burial.
The second stanza indicates my burial preference, hinting at an acknowledgement of life carrying on being more important than my life ending.
The third stanza enforces the concepts in the first stanza but adds the idea that I do not want my name to be remembered with tears if it has to be remembered at all.
The last stanza indicates why I would prefer this. Specifically, so that others might find happiness despite my death.
Technically, this is in iambic pentameter.
3. The Poem
When by my will the apple blossom air
No longer can inflate me with its scent
And when the wounds I through my travels bear
Shall never close, and when my days are spent,
Then lay me not within some fancy box
To toss me in a hole, alone to rot,
Upon some field of marked and weathered rocks
Amidst the slew of those who share my lot.
For I would have the roots of some great oak
Perched on the bank of some small flowing creek -
Where ‘pon a middle branch a gentle folk
Have tied the swinging rope that children seek
For lazy hours of summer in the shade
Spent learning breadth and brevity of days –
Reach down towards me with tendrils unafraid
That in unyielding wood my vessel stays.
A stone would never prosper from my end,
And though it might do well to bear my name,
The sole emotion that it serves to send
Is one of tears for what fate this man came.
Of those who loved me, I would have them not
Dwell on the place I lie to always rest
Beneath a lifeless marble, tended plot,
And shed their grief in waste upon my chest.
No, give what I’ll not need unto the tree.
For what’s a name that only heartache brings?
In truth I know that I would rather see
A child’s laughter as he gaily swings,
And know his mother sits and watches on,
A soft smile of her own upon her face,
And know that though my fragile life is gone,
A sweeter one will go on in its place.
Author notes
Written November 2nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Poetic and Critical Imagination/Intelligence (CONTEST) by Ink Shadow.
1000 points, ended November 17, 2005, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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OUTSTANDING!
WOW! I am simply stunned by this poem. I may have to ask Mr Kipling to move over. It seems slightly inspired by Robert Stevenson's "Requiem". But I don't mean that in a bad way. In fact, what you have writ may be considered by some to be an "answer" or continuation to that famous writer's work...all the while remaining your own. I'm gushing now, so I'll just finish with...
Write On!
jIM -
I liked the motif, the sense of an existential agony dispensed in and in-between the stanzas. Though I didn’t force myself to read the lines in strict iambic pentameter! Most of the lines appear to be relaxed, sonic quality is decent! The narrative is very depressing but sufficiently challenging for any reader. Imagery is evocative. I am quoting a part from the synopsis where the poet mentions “This poem is about my burial wishes. Basically, it states that I would rather be interred beneath a tree that others may take some pleasure from than to be buried in a graveyard under a stone.” Figure of speech usage is brilliant. This is a very good atmospheric work. 55 out of hundred, definitely a special mention if not a contender for medals!
Nimbus
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I can see your POV on poetry, in the light of the very popular beliefs prevailing among the internet poets. Poetry is subjective, like other art forms, and poetry CAN be word painting, like that the major portion of The Waste Land (TSE). But then poetry can be a hell lot more, as well. Poetry is an “intelligent manipulation of words and their connotations” confines your philosophy in those circles who believe puzzles, poetry and magic have more connectivity. “larger than sum of words alone” I agree, but you could easily given examples in support of your statements. Otherwise it reads a little premeditated. “It also serves to build a picture of SOMETHING in a way that UNSTRUCTERED words cannot” is vague, what is that something what is that built by poetry and what is unstructured words? You had good ideas, but then you couldn’t connect them properly. Yes rhyme and rhythm (I see a typo) are intended to make the poetry easy to read aloud and easy to absorb, but then I am sorry English is not a very RIME RICH language. Concluding lines more or less sum up your view. While my intention is not to say that you hold a wrong view about poetry, in fact THAT WOULD be WRONG if I say so! I would say you have a very local view of what poetry should be, when I review your work I will have to take extra care to read you in light of your own poetry philosophy.
Thanks for participating in the contest. Right now I am not commenting on your poem, will return back in a few days.
Nimbus
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Silver Fox, you have put into words what I have bumbled and stumbled through and still have not been able to properly express... Pure excellence in musing and theory...
As for the poem, I remember the first time that I read it at Curt's and having a discussion with the girls about what an intelligent person you were; so young yet still so wise. LOL (I fear that some thought you were arrogant and holier than thou... haha) Yet in the end, we all agreed that you had something that not many people do... a pure poetic voice with the talent to back it up.
Sheer beauty and brilliance. Pen on my friend, BRAVO!
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