bright the moon may be
lighting the lane
through Autumn trees
her parting
is all I notice
Andrew Hide
01~11~2005
Author notes
Written November 1st, 2005
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1 - 11 of 11
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So real the scene, I nearly shudder with the evening chill..
Beautifully crafted, a haunting piece. Stu -
This gives me a sad heart, the image of a loved one walking out of ones life is heart wrenching. Twofold meaning here, also I could think she is just walking and you are admiring her or that she has left you. Either one works for me. A very good image and tanka. Kaykuya
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Wonderful written piece and what a great end in it- the beauty of a landscape still not recognised because of a loss- really intensive as all of your poetry
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Starts off so beautifully...
Then ends with a tragic note
Well done -
it is indeed lovely .... touching ... fabulous crafting with moon, lighting, parting - where each folds into the other emotionally and imagery>>> EM
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Ohhhhhhhh! Beautiful work as always, Mr. Hide! The imagery stands out loud and clear and the absence of a soulmate is even more vivid. This is a tanka with alot of emotion and brings tears to the eyes of the reader and touches the heart deeply.
Charishma
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a great sense of sabi in this piece Andrew
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To a poets
I often read, but this time I must applaud. -
This touches the heart, in addition to creating images in the eye, and that's what it's all about
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the load of this subject (hope it is not the real personal situation in a negativ way) is well picturized in the contrast that is caracterized by way of the bright moon (happy?) and leaving of the character which seems to take away the lightness.
A clear marking between the two stanza's how we can be aware of autumn.
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Oh...this is a very interesting tanka indeed. Especially the part of her leaving. It really makes the reader wonder; gets the imagination working. Nicely written.
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