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Defining Torment

It was the word of the day: torment.

I felt the frustration of the word the first time he showed me his most priced possession: a pair of tattered wings that could no longer take him even just a yard away. He talked about them like they were his childhood friends with habits he found annoying yet endearing. I sat wide-eyed in anticipation of seeing him, inch by inch stepping off the ground, being carried off by his wings. But he stayed where he was, talking about the wings like an old lady chatters fondly of the cats that she never owned.

I could've just yanked them off his shoulder blades. I could've just scratched them off, scraping blood along with webbed scraps.

But I was banking on them to take him away. I didn't want to see him suffer the way he did right at that moment of torment: that pair of useless wings on his back was his burden, and yet he smiled. For the dead beauties that died along with him.

Author notes


Written October 31st, 2005

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • gingergreentea
    February 4, 2006
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    wow, it's been a while since i've visited this page. glad someone's still reading my poems. thanks.

  • Turquoise Truth
    February 4, 2006
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    This is wonderful, really poignant, it has the feel of Clive Barker about it to me, the way you touch on the essence of humanity yet retain that anger at the apparently unfairness of the situation. The hopelessness of the narrator is a bleak juxtaposistion against the suggested acceptance of the subject, a brilliant and insightful piece, well written, Claire x


  • April Renee
    January 24, 2006
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    very interesting. original. really enjoyed it. nice job with writing this. was worth the read.

    blu


  • theprodigalsister
    November 4, 2005
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    I have never read a more interesting/intriguing definition... Very well penned my dear!!

  • piccola silver member
    November 2, 2005
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    I kept picturing an old dusty room and a decrepit old man with tattered butterfly wings on his back .. him mumbling on aimlessly .. doing things with his hands that annoyed you .. maybe fingering his trousers.. just things. But I got a lot of visuals from this write.. and a lot of emotion. great!


  • Ethereal One gold member
    November 2, 2005
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    exceptionally well written

    This has such a wonderful message within. He smiled, even though they were useless and a burden. What a great thing that he loved them so much and when they couldn't perform as they once did, he didn't lose the love that he felt for them. Your words describe the scene so clearly.
    I really enjoyed reading this.
    etherealforu


  • Shancy Fayre
    November 2, 2005
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    You did well.

    This piece brougt me feelings of frustration. Your poem evoked
    an emotion, strong. You did well. Shancy.


  • nichtmich silver member
    November 1, 2005
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    Bitte Schoene

    Sad and complex, with just a few words Thank you for an interesting and beautiful read. Keep on penning!


  • ceXee
    November 1, 2005
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    i really didnt get it. dont think ure write is bad its just im dumb. lol

  • Lost in Blood
    November 1, 2005
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    well i must say i had to read it twice to goet the full meaning out. it was very well written and i like it, you did good.
    the imagery was lovely.


  • Image and Visions silver member
    November 1, 2005
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    greentea, this was a vry beautiful yet sad write, with a lot imagery of what I am going to guess is of a child not being protected and norished into something ... more I guess then you anger for that not happening, this was agin beautiful and sad, but at the same time very good image and Visions


  • Kuroneko
    November 1, 2005
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    That was amazing! Such great use of imagery! I love the detail on the wings... I could see it all so clearly. Your poetry is simply divine!

    ♥Kuroneko.


  • yumanbeing
    October 31, 2005
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    It is a great treat to read something unique - I admit I have seen the very odd horror movie "Santa Sangre" several times just to see the dead elephant sliding down a ledge into a chasm of starving souls - this is gentle and complex -
    Edited on Oct 31, 3:48 p.m. because 'wrong movie'.


  • Child of Decay
    October 31, 2005
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    This is truly a wonderful read. It has such candid emotion and beautiful imagery that the reader can’t help but be captivated. Great work.

    ~Laura~

  • gingergreentea
    October 31, 2005
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    thanks. that was quick.


  • franomi
    October 31, 2005
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    argh. this is really beautiful. confusing and honest and simple.
    wow. i think it deserves a second read.

1 - 16 of 16