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The Melting(Etheree)

You washed over me like snow melting from
The white capped mountains of my mind's eye,
Flowing delicately into
Rushing waters, thundering
Through thirsty creeks, begging
Entry onward to
Placid ponds of
Preconceived,
First kissed
Love.

Author notes

Let me know if you find any mistakes in spelling, punctuation or syllable count.
Written October 31st, 2005

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Yahiko
    January 17, 2006
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    I like the fact it's off syllable count wise I like it's just more unique that way so good piece sweetie!!!!!!

    ~Pixie Princess~
    ~Yahiko~ I luv u!


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 5, 2005
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    Thanks so much for the comment suseann. This was very enjoyable to write and while inspired by the picture in the contest, it was also inspired by the love of my life . It is always a wonderful thing when I do him justice. Some things, words just fall short of describing


  • CountryCousin
    November 3, 2005
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    Interesting indeed.

    Congratulations on the trophy and this one was really interesting and all the entrants good.

  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    November 3, 2005
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    Thanks so much. The initial word flow, which was prompted my the photo practically did the work for me . If only I could train those syllables to count The counting was the hard part. LoL

    Edited on Nov 03, 12:08 because 'bleck'.


  • transcendental baby gold member
    November 3, 2005
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    Yikes! Syllable counts can get in the way of good poetry ... but you did a wonderful job here ... I my opinion


  • suseann
    November 2, 2005
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    Images of love and a natural mix entwined in this lovely write.~~Suseann

  • CountryCousin
    November 1, 2005
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    Interesting one Thistle.

    Despite syllable count I think this one was really a good tumble down piece that uses the form well. Something that I am not quite used to.

  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    October 31, 2005
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    1-flow 2-ing 3-del 4-ic 5-ate 6-ly 7-in 8-to I think delicately is a 4 syllable word which when added to the 2 syllables of flowing and the 2 syllables of into equals 8. Am I misspronouncing delicately?


  • B Chandler
    October 31, 2005
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    Watch your syllable count and take not of the syllables i counted:
    You washed over me like snow melting from (10)
    The white capped mountains of my mind's eye (9)
    Flowing delicately into(7)[this needs to be eight]
    Rushing waters, thundering (7)
    Through thirsty creeks- begging (6)
    Entry onward to (5)
    Placid ponds of(4)
    Preconceived, (3)
    First kissed (2)
    Love. (1)

    ..again your syllable count is off slightly
    Rae


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    October 31, 2005
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    Oh, nicely done! a tumble down poem.....great job!

1 - 10 of 10