If the shoulders are exposed,
The rest seems to come without thought.
The shirt-back comes apart at the seams,
Showing the spine, the tender sides.
It follows through: the thighs and buttocks.
This is human beauty, without pretense.
Author notes
Written October 29th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Clean fluid slide through this piece.
When I read this I personally didn't find this to be a display of sexuality or impulse, but for me you broke down the human body in a naturalistic way. The meat and bones of our existence seems to be hidden to everyone. We often forget the substance of our being. I like the way you reminded us that it is there, 'without thought'.
The simplicity of this poem corresponds with the subtle beauty of nature. I think you left out the fabrication of the soul, the heart of man, and the meaning and spirituality for a real reason.
In this piece you seem to allow only the body to shine, and that is important. You are revealing not a body to be desireable, but to me something forgotten and unappreciated. The fragile state of being, the wonder and positive mystery of human anatomy. That was the beauty that I saw. Stunning poem.
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Wow. So this is the side of Adam thats usually caged off from me. You've got to let this side of you out more often. Alright, now to be serious. I like the fact that the poem is short. It goes along with the end of the poem, which is just a frank statement. I'm a slight bit unsure what to make of the third line. It doesn't disrupt the poem, just my train of thought. And even more so when I read it over. All and all, a really good poem.
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Quiet, honest and even (sorry if it offends you) sensitive. I love this calm undressing of a person, and it is not gratuitously sexual as undressing someone might be in other poems or with the intention of sex, as it is appreciative and mature. It has a possible sexual undertone, but it does not overwhelm or expose itself so apparently because the dominating idea is not merely sex but the beauty of the naked body, not hidden, without clothes or "pretense" and I agree, it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, male or female.
Also, I like the presentation of this idea in a way that does not attempt to portray or force so much meaning into the human body. The human body is simply physical, and it can be something more and complex, but not here and it doesn't necessarily have to be anything more than a naked body. Here, it is just a body, and just a body is as beautiful and amazing alone in its stark and plain physicality without any "deep" connotations attached.
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