This pain I feel,
Must it be real?
I'd rather take a
Rusty
Jagged
Knife to my heart
Then hear you say
"I love you" one more time..
The I love you's were bullshit
The kisses were fake
The hugs were meaningless
The nights on the phone..
They were pointless
This relationship was a phony
What the worst part was
I was so deep in it
I am never getting out
No matter how many times I scream
At the top of my lungs I hate you
For everything you've done
This shit you've put me through
Doesn't matter anymore..
Because I hate you.
Author notes
shanz <3's Tim
Written October 28th, 2005
A contest entry
- Shanz <3's Tim by candyecane2002.
300 points, ended February 1, 2006, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Wow Cheyna this is really good where do u get some of your ideas? And i know how you feal i had the same thing happen to me
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WOW. I never read this one. Omg. This is how I feel about Allen. Omg. Anyways. I'm gonna stop before I give something away in the contest. G'luck. xoxo- shanz
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hate is an emotion
it shows you acknowledge this individual that caused u such unnecessary harm.
love can be turned into hate faster
it should
a. feel good to love
b. feel bad to hate
but how often the opposite is true
XO olivia -
sad but great
wow this is deep and really hits me hard because i put someone i love through the same pain you experessed yourself very well -
good write wow cheyna!!!!!!!!1 this so wonderfully expressed but i don't like the suicidal part.... I'm sorry he hurt you...
your love is too strong but when love lives in two hearts it sparks. maybe it was not your destiny but love hurts that is what it is all about. -
Captivating!
Bravo!!! Intense! Dramatic! Raw! Fresh! Bleeding with passion
and emotion that captivates the audience. Love and hate are so
tightly knitted together. Sometimes there is a very thin line
and it doesn't take much to tip the scales. Awesome!
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excellent poem, I think we'll all feel this way sometime in our life. but try not to worry about it cuz you'll get through it.
hope you feel better- BLue OctobER
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'I'd rather take a
Rusty
Jagged
Knife to my heart
Then hear you say
"I love you" one more time..'
I really felt these lines, especially the staggered nature of the rusty jagged knife bit. You might want to change that 'then' to a 'than' though, otherwise its the wrong usage. I'm sorry that this has happened to you but you seem to have some good supportive friends, so don't let your hate consume you. You're a very skilled writer and have created a very emotive piece here, well done.
Avian xx
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Cheyna,i know who this is about,you know this,I am sorry but the truth had to come out.I am in love with Brandon and he loves me back,we are companions,but we are not taking it anyfurther than just being best friends,though he did tell me to tell you that it was over.It would never have worked out anyways with you and him.You were too attached to joey...
and to tell you the truth i was jealose of you and Brandon,yet I hide shit like that and you know it.Brandon told me that He has liked me since the beginning of the school year,yet could not tell me and i have been the same way.Yet me and him are still just best friends,because when best friends get into bf/gf relationships it ruins the fact that they are bestfriends.
I spent the night with him on Saturday,we went to the mall,we had so much fun!! he almost killed this old dude who was stalking us!!! It was so funny.....anyways,When I say this,
I mean it,and you better know it...I love you!!!!!!
Email me....dont be mad at me,i love you. -
wow cheyna!!!!!!!!1 this si great... im sorry he hurt you... greg hurt me to... he just dumped me... damn we shud just get together and become lesbians... BUT I HEARD JUSTINS BACK IN TOWN =) we will see how that goes haha anyways good write lesbian kisses bye!
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good job
nice job. this is a really emotional peice and i can relate. i think the expression was good but i didn't really like how choppy the lines were because it kind of messed up the flow.
also in this line...
The kissed were fake
i think you mean kisses instead of kissed.
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ugh whoever did this to you should DIE...by having their arms wrenched off and being eaten from the inside out by hungary ferrets. no im serious, its a very painful way to die.
anywho...really good write, ive not gone through this myself exactly...its complicated. much love .x.X.x. -
I know... I'm going through the exact same thing right now... I'm so sorry you have to go through this... but your not alone... it hurts... and they should burn...
1 - 13 of 13








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