He was once a man
But twice a child
Now my husband
acts so senile
He does not listen
Just plays the fool
Acts like he belongs
Back in grade school
Has red sports-car
And snappy clothes
Designer sunglasses
Now there he goes
Thinks he's so cool
But he's real square
The life of the party
But nobody cares
Always out real late
Stays up till dawn
Thrown out the door
He sleeps on lawn
He can't remember
Where he has been
Yes this little child
Now lives in sin
Good-bye Forever
To this little child
Your life for me
Is much too wild
Start up the car
Now shift into gear
Drown your sorrows
I am out of here
Author notes
'Hahaha, I'm in this contest'
Written October 28th, 2005
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Comments
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WONDERFUL COMMENT
Thank you for the nice comment. It is most appreciated draco. Take care, Sandy -
Lol, I hear ya, I think this is about someone, uh You know who. lol THis is an awesome well structured poem. I loved it. You seriously did an awesome job on this one.
I love you MOM, hey God bless you/
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A nice write.
Yep. That's just the way the donkeys are. You nailed them. A nice write. Shancy. -
Well done, sandygram...Unfortunately, I think this is a poem many can relate to...Good luck in the contest... Wanda
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like this
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I think this is really well written, I enjoyed the humour of your piece. As a lot of men are just like big kids I think a lot of people will be able to relate to your words. Well done and keep up the good work
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Sounds like you showed him! A lot of guys are like this from what I've heard. I've never understood it. If you don't love your wife anymore, well hell! Get a divorce! THEN chase women, duh! Good poem.
Edited on Oct 29, 5:00 because ''. -
awesome
This was short and to the point. Very effective in the way you have written this..... -
I think the humour is certainly there, and the point is very clear. I'm not sure about the format... the missing words to fit what seems like a necessary syllable count - when, in fact, the syllables don't add up. So I was curious as to why you removed words. For effect? It might accidentally create an 'unfinished' feel to the poem, or rather, like it's a first-draft. (This of course, is strictly on an editing level.) Other than that, the emotion is there, the heart. There is a real feeling of finality when it comes to the story itself. That was accomplished very well.
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Hi, go for it, someone else who was tired of being a mum instead of a wife, do they ever grow up?one thing that made me smile was a friend saying, when my husband is nervous he says, leave me alone I'm nervous, but when one day she said the same thing, the reply was you are hysterical,lol, great write great flow loved it, a pleasure to read, all the best, hugs Di
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Cool poem grandma, quite funny, yes, well done with this, a great piece of poetry,
best wishes as always
grandson
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The pic is cute but such things shouldnt be taught to kitties..poor kitty is taught immoral things even before he graduates to the adult's club....the poem is humour in a dark uniform and leaves a taste which is not humorous regret this but because it evokes a thoughtful response from the reader in me...makes me ponder about what life is what life does..and are the metabolisms responsible for the way a person acts and reacts after senility takes over...are the depletion of resources within him..his blood pressures..his frustrations responsible for the way he acts..reacts..Shubs
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