Never did the truth he reveal,
never had he done the crime to steal,
he sat with me for every meal,
yet i did not know with what he did deal.
Time did not last,
but my memory was vast.
i remembered every blast
of his life, which was past.
But to think to care,
i was always there.
and, finally, on that day's last glare,
you'll find it to be very rare:
He told me clearly every thought,
which appeared to me a prank, but it was not.
how odd i felt, my mind did clot!
but what his eyes revealed was that he had been honest a lot.
He told me that he never did steal;
he told me about his every deal;
he told me that he was very keen on what he did feel,
to accomplish which he was about to turn a new wheel!
Author notes
this poem is about a fiction character, who's supposed to be a part of my family (my brother). he keeps a lot of secrets and acts really weird... it's about how i come to know of the reality which was totally different from what i thought him to be.
i believe one shouldn't just someone just by what he/she seems to be from the outside... everyone deserves a chance to be 'understood'...
this is the weirdest piece i have written by far!!
Written October 27th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Abstract PW allowed by BigE.
400 points, ended February 16, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Very puzzling poem leaves the reader asking questions which i think is a good thing.
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Very interesting Thanks for entering
Charlie -
This poems rhyming was really well done. Good luck in my contest.
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it seems unfinished.In some parts it was hard to follow.But it was a very good poem.Good luck! (please read the rules i think you forgot somehting?)
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this was great...awsome job and good luck in my contest
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thanks friend... actually i don't know really, this idea just came to my mind... he didn't kill anyone tracy, but even i feel i have left it unfinished.. but i think the topic says that he had done nothing but people, even his own family members thought that he did.. so it is something like that! you see...
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i liked this poem, it sucked me in, and then kept me waiting for the clencher. the reasoning! where is it? i think you need to tell the reader more of what he told you, did he kill someone? whats the deal. i think you are off to a wonderful start tho! keep it up!~~ tracy
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3 Stars ***
ok ok hello again, i got this poem.. but i need to ask you the reference to this poem.. i mean.. what made you write this poem?? it seemed that the poem had some personal touch
and then the way youtake it to the climax.. it has got the grip
nice write... good work.... thanks for sharing my dear friend...
*hugs and kisses*
*gives choco*
take cares and have anice time my dear friend ............................. just keep it up .................................. your humble little friend ..................................
............................................ ......................................... ............................ - vic ( who else???? )
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
3 old applause
