Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Death in Her Eyes

Missing image

 

 

 

She is radiant with him in the moonlit night.
Why did he not notice her beauty in life?
Now cold to his touch,
her skin porcelain white,
her pierced heart beating

as cold as ice.


 

Her stare- like a vanished specter’s now,
absent of the love she once offered to him-
a love he had carelessly cast aside-
He peers deep now, 
her black eyes of death
glare back dispassionately
from her unwanting eyes.


 

Her lips that once beckoned, eternally bleed
a heart that once longed, perpetually feeds
on his fears and regrets,
tormenting his life
that she consumes slowly

each moon-lit night.

 

 

Life has turned to his final page tonight-
she arrives for a dancing deathly date

from her grave so comes
from the rain and the mud
with her rose and red dress
both stained in his blood.



It is an offer he knows he must accept,
She has come this time for his eternal debt-
To join her in Hell
in her Unholy Chair
after one night of grace
with her deadliest embrace...
then to rule over the realm of love's misery.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Author notes

for Torn Chakra... my AP wife then daughter then wife-in-law then niece...
Written October 26th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Never Fall in Love
    December 15, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is really good
    awesome piece of work
    especially:

    now absent of love
    she had once offered him-
    a love he had carelessly cast aside.

    i like how this is really really deep
    and bitz and pieces of the poem describes me alot
    plus ..
    its really ironic
    how today marks one year of giving love to one person
    but not getting any back
    really good write
    keep it up

    ~* NeveR *~

  • XbrokenXforeverX
    February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is awesome!!!!!


  • vampira1665 silver member
    November 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    OHHH, I SO LOVED THIS ONE! Nicely done!!!!

    Hugs and bites, Your Partner in Death


  • wbiro gold member
    October 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Gabe, you comment spurred me to improve it a bit! (I'm always the tinkerer...)

  • Benighted Eidolon
    October 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    A masterpiece

    Radiance, beauty, overwhelming talent.... all three shine from every line, from every stanza within this piece of art, I do commend you whole-heartedly wbiro. I do not think I can say anything to do justice to this, so I shall end this quick little comment with....

    ‘a job well done.’

    But even that.... does descredit this piece. I should stop now and go on with my applause....

    ta-ta,

    Gabriel


  • StoryOfaLostLove
    October 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    arabesque

    wow...beautiful, but ugly... sad and demonic, but picturesque in the wonderful depictions of the woman...you use adjectives like i do peanut butter on toast...mm...lol. This was a wonderful write, it flowed so beautifully...i'm at a loss for words. compelling and arabesque and sosososososoooo beautiful...

    mandie


  • suseann
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Scary yet compelling and sad.Also beauty in thought of her once warm soul of flesh.Wonderful job of a dark write.~~~Suseann


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    'She is radiant with him in the moonlit night. Why did he not notice her beauty in life? She is now cold to his touch, her skin porcelain white, her pierced heart cold as ice...' Surreal & lovely, Wayne...another amazing penning, my Friend...Good luck in the contest... Wanda
    Edited on Oct 26, 10:12 p.m. because ''.

  • piccola silver member
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    great. This contest is filled with great imagry.. so is your poem.


  • Malabu
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    loved every word of this wbiro....you have a great talent...Ive always loved reading your words....poet....this is great.....sad and daunting but yet dark writes intrest me to the aspectations of something deeply embedded in ones mind as to why? Your flowing descriptions of consuming words linger to my mind here.....absolutely marvelous bro...
    Malabu

  • Mrs. Dumas silver member
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wayne, thank you for entering such a wonderful work of art. When opening this contest I expected to be taken back with the entries and the beauty in them but I've already been overwhelmed with such powerful emotions and beauty has come to me. Thanks for entering this lovely piece in my contest!

    Much love
    Jess, your AP something or another

  • wbiro gold member
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    glad you liked my dark/love/fantasy piece for your AP mother, my dark/angelic daughter!
    Edited on Oct 26, 4:29 p.m. because ''.


  • Scarlet Ambrosia
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    hi daddy,
    this was amazing!
    v well written
    your dark angelic daughter


  • wbiro gold member
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Turtle! (now who gave you that nickname!) lol


  • -Tesoro-
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this was...wow very well written! great job Good Luck in the contest!
    ~Turtle


  • SexyAngel0418
    October 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WOW AP Dad!!! THis is an awesome entry about this picture!!! You did a great job on it!! I like it!!! Good luck in the contest!!!

    Hugs,
    beth

1 - 16 of 16