I've messed up my life
My sins make me black.
Forgotten by all my friends
Oppressed by everyone
Rejected by the world
Giving me a second chance
In Christ, I can live
Vigorously witnessing to those sinners
Everyday I live I know in my heart
Nothing can separate me from Jesus
Author notes
I don't need to ask for forgiveness from anyone else. I've already been forgiven. I asked Jesus once and he forgave me for the rest of my sinful life. Through the blood of Jesus Christ I've been forgiven forever, unlike some of the entries in this contest. Oh, and thanks Kelsy for pointing out the contest and helping me with this poem. Thanks so much guys! You all rock!
Written October 26th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Forgive me, Wench, for I have sinned by Beastial Wench.
300 points, ended October 27, 2005, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Why thank you
This is the most applauds I've ever gotten on a particular poem. I'm really glad you liked it 
--Tim -
whoa!!ok to start off with theres a little actually a very little left for me to said that alread hasnt been said earlier..this is awesome..it realy is..every word in this poem is so powerful..it blows me off..it leaves an everlasting impact on the mind..mm..great job!
much love
-manasvi. -
B-E-A-UTIFUL!!
Wow..Seriously..This poem is special..Wow..I think that's all i could say.. -
First of all, thank you for replying to my topic. Next, I'd like to congratulate you on such an awesome piece of poetry. You have a real talent for poetry, I can see that in this one poem. Thank you once again for everything, especially this powerful poem. Merry Christmas and God Bless!
With Love,
ArchAngel -
It truely takes faith to see the God given "life". Far to often were blinded by the consequences of the life we messed up and made black with sins. Hold your head high and keep the faith in your new begining. Great poem!
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i really liked this... i thought it was extremely clever...this poem is very true to life...
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Brilliant poem, wonderful thoughts. I liked this, nice write! Even though it was short and deep, you still managed to keep the language simple and flowing, great write, keep it up!
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thumbs up
I thought it was well-written and it's fine on a poetry site, regardless of what people think. Keep writing! -
An interesting piece of prose. Where I am not Christian, I don't mind in your belief, and it's not based on that fact when I say this isn't poetic at all. This is basically you saying what you believe, which is fine... but not on a poetry site.
-Arias' Son -
wow this is an very good poem i enjoyed reading it and it was hot keep on writing take care
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Bland
Honestly, I didn't think it was all that, not nearly enough to be applauded over one hundred times, but that's just me, obviously it touched a lot of other people a lot or they wouldn't have applauded right? So don't let one sour critic ruin your religious writing for you, keep at it, and hopefully you'll write something that will even move me, fat chance, the mood I'm in, but hey, not everyone's a winner right? have a good one, Jaime -
perfect
amazing. truly inspired by God. you really touch on that constant struggle with good and evil thats in us all. i love it... keep writing!! -
I WANNA CRY!! I LOVED IT! YOU DONT KNOW ME BUT THATS OKAY MY NAME IS KRISTIE!! BUT I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!! *GASP* YOU NEED TO GET IT PUBLISHED *SINGS* GET IT PUBLISHED!! ^ _ ^
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So, Tim... did you win any points from winning 2nd in this contest? If so, what will you do with them? God bless.
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Thanks for your comment. Umm... this one has 114, the other one right about this has the "166 clappers." Most of the people who applauded this are almost all Christians or they were non-Christians who enjoyed the poem.
--Tim -
I didn't use any points for "self promotion." I'm sorry to bust your bubble, but other people promoted this for me because they liked it. Also, people were clapping for this because they liked it. Maybe someday you'll realize why, but for now, oh well. Have a good day.
--Tim -
very nice acrostic,i am from the ones that think that if you believe, in something it doesn't matter what you call it so far it fill you with joy and light, keep the good work!, with many godd wishes! Monchi
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Short and kinda cute but not sure it's worth 166 clappers. Reading through most applauded to see what is popular here at AP.
Desiree -
who the fuck are we clapping for christ or the fact you had so many points for self promotion... and we all know wwjd with self promoting....
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A beautiful poem. It hits very close to home.
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WOW! THIS IS A GREAT POEM!!! I LOVED HOW YOU TALK ABOUT JESUS SINCE I MYSELF NEED A LOT OF HELP! GREAT JOB!! THIS IS A TRULY AND BUEATIFUL POEM!!!
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BEAUTYFUL, TRUELY BEAUTIFUL!
Grace
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Very good~ I loved it.. keep up the great work.. THis poem was very nice and I can totally feel your emotion. great job..
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Blessed be the lord
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I think this is a very nice and sincere poem. I like the way you expressed yourself. Sometimes I feel the way you feel but I know I just have to trust that God had forgiven me and loves me still.
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Great job on this acrostic poem! It was very nicely written...and well deserving of the Silver trophy!! Kudos and God's blessing to you.
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I edited it, sorry Jess.
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Joshy, you spelled my love's name wrong!
How could you?
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great
great job and it doesnt matter what others think as long as you have Jesus. Let the Lord guide you my friend and thanks for everything you've done. This was a wonderful write. thanks for sharing with me You did an absolutely great job. take care
peace to ya
Beth (Tworky) -
good.
nice <3 -
Incredible work
Wonderful poem, although I agree it's not exactly what the contest was lookin for. The message was a powerful one. Well written.
However, none of the three gods will forgive without a honest and selfless apology to those you've wronged. -
Hey Gabriel, I do respect what You said, and I understand and agree with some of it, I'm not going to over intelect you, I just wanted to give you some verses to look at.
*1 Peter 4:8-9 above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sin.Offer hospitality to others without grumbling
*Romans 2:19 and are confident that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness
*Luke 11:33 No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but in a lampstand that those who come in may see the light.
*Philippians 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ*
Edited on Oct 27, 11:19 because ''. -
ok
very good and very nice its an exellent peice and you are a very good poet -
Great Man!
I won't say much about your poem....But not just becuase i don't like your poem....not just because i don't see anything worth in it! But just becuase....i don't have word to describe it! It is wonderful....short...it is very short poem....but has its own charm in it. Deep rooted meaning in it....such a devotion in it! I see god's personality in your poem....you there believe deeply in god and that makes the sense of believing oneself! What is god...People say Jesus! some would say Buddha, And other would say Alah and another will say Ram. That is how people see God as...But I feel they are still one....NOne of them taught bad...every God said very samething! But that is how people see them.....Things always keeps on changing.....but God won't change....And will keep you holding from doing sins....And will teach you something good enough...try teaching goods to oneself..you will find God in onself! Great written poem! -
I'm not religeous and I find the line "Vigorously witnessing to those sinners" quite pretentious and separational. I would believe in a saviour if the saved actually looked saved.
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Im generally not to religous,but as of late I've been finding my faith, your poem means alot to me and Im sure it does to the man upstairs as well.
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AWWWW thats so beautiful,
Just has long as you know
gob will always love us and forgive
us for our wrong, thats all you need..
Thats was a touching piece,
keep up the good work
xXx
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a poem that needs to be worked on
Note* I would not have been straightforward with this, but you did invite a critical review, my friend so here we go....
Now if there is one thing that I cannot stand from a saved individual, it is the hypocritical manner from which they reside from. I mean it’s true, being saved and being forgiven from all your past and future sins is a worthwhile cause, but ignorance; can that truly be enough for God to see his children walk this Earth committing sins, even as minor to ignorance such as many christians on this site.
Is it not that in the bible, greed is one of the seven deadly sins? Is it not that desiring to change other peoples views enough to make that be the only way of living, the only way people can go day to day with life, is that not greed? There is a reason why I state this, and I shall tell you that further on in this comment.
First off, within the realm of this contest that you have entered this ‘spiritual’ write, does it not state that this is asking for dark writes, therefore any man with intellect would in fact begin to wonder and question about your faith in god. The question on my mind is, is this ‘intellectual’ person truly serious about his belief? Or is he just using it to gain friends, to gain recognition. Where there are people who say they are saved, they can still act as if they were immature teenagers who say that they are living horrid lives and yet if you look to it, there lives aren’t all that horrid at all.
But again, let me veer off you and talk about this ‘poem’. This was in fact nothing but babble. Talk, there was no poetic to it, nor was there anything that spilled out to me saying that the poet even tried to make this into a poetic masterpiece. I find this to be dull and boring, and IF I wanted to be informed of something like this, I can go to a friend who is very religious who would give me a better ‘speech’ than this abomination.
The emotion of faith was even dull, the ‘poem’ needs more..... I don’t even know where to start. Punctuation would’ve helped the structure better, but even that wouldn’t have given this justice. I’m sorry, I’m not one to kiss anyones backside, or tell them that a horrid write is a good write. I’ve read good, i’ve read great, i’ve read masterpieces... and yes I’ve read crap.
Now, allow me to, in detail, tell you what I meant about greed up above. I see many christians on this site as hypocrites, though I would never tell them straight to there face because there ignorance would only deny the truth and therefore the realization and the revelation of there ignorance would be lost and they would go about there lives pretending to be happy. But are you people really happy trying to force your beliefs and ideas to others who believe in something else? In the bible it says love one another, giving no specific words in who not to love, but just stating that statement ‘love one another’. Yet you prosecute gays and lesbians, you spit in the faces of other religions and yet every christians out there can say that they are in fact doing what God intended them to do. I have heard many excuses from various people on this site telling people that they spoke to god, and god told them that it wasn’t there time. Is it not but an excuse to face everyday life? Here’s an example....
If your boss ask you to do a job, would he take it the excuse, ‘god told me that it wasn’t time?’ No he wouldn’t. What makes you people different than those who live different lives? Is that enough to dictate that they are nothing more than scum and or evil?
I think you people who are overzealous jesus christ followers need to wake up. Believing, and having faith is one thing, but living your life the way you believe God intends you to is another. Why would god give man a brain if it wasn’t to think and make decisions? True, it’s easy to make the excuse that god did not want you to do that at a certain time, and or you spoke to god and he told you something that would alter someone’s life, but it is another to live your life by the decisions you make. That will be the way you’d be judged I believe.
I believe, and I am speaking for myself, that this ‘poem’ needs to be excluded for the sake of the ‘poet’. That way, he can take this ‘poem’ and work on it, as well as he would take a stand for himself, not for god and do the right thing because this is not part of the contest, nor is it even worthy of being called a poem. If any intellectual individual read this, you can specifically see that there is little structure, no sort of emotion and if there was, the lack there of especially for a spiritual write.
Now, with everything said, I do apologize for taking much of your time on this. I do respect your faith somewhat. I just hope you can take my constructive criticism, I did not mean many of what I said to anger, but to indulge you as well as other people almost like you.
ta-ta,
Gabriel -
Good Job!
You do not need anyones approval!
As long as God forgives you then
everything is all right! -
good
sharcu, this was a nice little piece you wrote and yes I'll give you the applaud, but only for the work and the typoe of work. I don;t want to get burned again on points. I lost 420 and for something sort of like this. but, I guess I sould have asked for someone to read my stuff, so becareful. image and Visions -
So, you are so desperate that you feel that you must click on my featured items and waste my points even though you know what they are; well you know what, I applauded your poem, this very poem because of the contest. I forgive you for your desperation to win this contest and for the rude way you've approached me, but can you forgive yourself? Better yet, will God forgive you for looking down upon another person's work of art? Think about that before you mess with me. You know that little "or else" on my poem for this contest; well this is it.
Have a nice night.
And further more, you found my poem to be outside the guidlines set for this contest. First off, the contest asks for dark writes. My write is a play on dark writes; it is threatening, yet it is humorous. Your write on the other hand is about God and forgiveness. Now, forgiveness seems to be a good thing and dark things normally aren't so are you trying to say that God is a bad, dark thing?
Hmm, interesting thought I must say.
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awesome
God is awesome.
" We know what REAL LOVE is because christ gave up his life for us." 1John 3:16.
Good write. -
This is very sweet indeed and true, once you have took the step and let Jesus in, well there is no need to look back... I loved the overall theme specially cause there are times in life when all you need to do is pray and let the light in… well beautiful work I hope to read more from you soon….
Leslie
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Well it is really a very strength ful write revealing the fire of the soul which is adament to get light and even to light the each darkness around through and through. The thoughts are very strongly stating and raising the voice of the soul in very definate culture of the transformation of the world. The depth of the concept of the philosophy stated here is the beauty of this write. The faith is the essence of this write and flowing in the each word . The staructure of the confession makes this write so innocent so honest too. The flow of the write is very impressive and very slick too. I really appreciate this work.prabhudayal khattar
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it's a good prayer of thanks, but as a poem it has no real poetic qualities. a poem speaks in its images to send its message to the reader by that. this doesn't do that, it's all tell and no show, but I'm thankful you're thankful.
Jo -
Amazing with a capital "A" I loved it. I can relate being a christian myself. So I feel rejected and hated sometimes , but with Jesus there's only love.
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BEautiful poem and I am so glad you have such strong faith. Great job expressing that. ............Doc
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I did not look at the contest but I applaud your wonderful poem. A positive affirmation of faith.
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Yes, wise words indeed. I wish you good luck in the contest. I'm sure it will be met favorably by the judge.
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Awesome
It is so great that you can express your feelings toward Jesus in your poems. My mom tried for years to express Christianity but she decided to do the dark sides of her. You mixed them in together perfectly... i like it! -
Very wise words for those who believe. Lets hope more live in that manner. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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short but has meaning. took two reads to get that it was an acrostic. good job with writing this. enjoyed the read. good luck in the contest.
blu -
love it
wow!! This is a fabulous fabulous write!! Absolutley beautiful! Keep up the good work -
beautiful
There is always another day ... and there is always another dawn. I hope you find peace in all you do! -
this is a beautiful poem. if the world chose to reject you, then please dont reject the world. i can promise you that someone out there loves you dearly, not only Jesus. however, i loved this poem and wish you luck in the contest!
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Quite simple, and a nice way to word and put together your view.
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cool
That picture scares me a little but I'll get over it. Pretty good poem. Definately better than that other guy who said nothing. I'm not so big on the whole jesus thing (not intending to offend anyone) but you worked it very well with in this poem. I aggree (sorta) I don't need forgiveness because there's nothing wrong with what I've done. -
This is really good. I like it. Jesus Christ in the right way to go. Great write!!
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That's deep. Really deep. I'm not big on religion but this is really good. Nice job keep it up.
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Awesome
Hey this is great man good job!!!! I love that you are doing this -
Awesome write, I loved this a lot. Very emotional, and just warm. Awesome job, and keep up the good work.
~Fallen
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This was a wonderful read. Loved the inspirations and love. So beautifully written. Best wishes to you in the contest.
Sam
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oooh thats deeeeep. wow but powerful too. I.....like it!
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amen
I LOVE JESUS! Thanks for writing this. I love it!
This is definitely an encouragement to your brothers and sisters.
GOD bless! -
thanks to josh for showing me this, I'm defintly going to applaud. This poem deserves to win and I want to help any way I can!!
-Faithful Dreamer(your AP neice) -
WOW GREAT WRITE
Nikki -
A sweet and touching testimony to the love that you have for the Lord. It's such a wonderful thing to know that He is there for us, even if everyone around us has rejected us, and turned their backs and walked aways. Until a person comes to know Christ, on a personal basis, they'll never be able to understand that He truly is "a friend that sticks closer than a brother." A very sweet poem.
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This is great and, in my belief, so very true. It doesn't take
many words to say a lot if you choose the right words. Shancy. -
the beauty of a second chance... that was very good, one of the strongest messages that exists in this world, summed up so completely in so few words.. great job
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Nothing can seperate us from Jesus... how true. Pure, honest emotion, short but inspiring. Great job, Tim!
God Bless, Rose
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Interesting
I can't really relate to finding forgiveness in Jesus, but I'm glad you did! -
Amen you did an awesome job on this one, Awesome awesome. Seriously, You hit the mark on the emotional value.
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Honest, raw emotion in this insightful poem. Dramatic and powerful. It carries the reader from despair to faith and triumph. Pure in its simplicity. Kudos! God bless.
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God does give forgiveness, but you do have to ask. Just because he's merciful doesn't mean he won't punish a sinner.
A nice and faithful poem. -
WONDERFUL POEM
A beauti ful poem. Thank you for sharing. You are very talented. Take care,
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great poem man i give a round of applaus it's good to see things like this on here keep up the tremendous work it's amazing
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I have decided to comment this again and I'm going to promote this again for the simple fact I believe this is one of the most awesome poems I have seen in awhile.. Tim great job
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this is really great. wow. good luck in the contest. this is a great write
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Bro', you've done well here. Jesus Christ has surely paid the toll for all of our sins. I'm glad to see a bro' so thankful for it. He love us, eh?
Also, it's awesome and exciting to see you and Kelsy join accounts. Tomorrow is the big day, eh? I'll be saying a prayer for ya' (as well as her). I hope it is everything you are wanting and more.
Justin -
love the poem!!!really enjoyed it!!good luck in the contest!!
anaxx -
Wow . So true. There's no one in the world like Jesus. "nothing can separate me from Jesus." This is so true. Beautiful. It seemed like a pretty dark contest, and for you to put this in it was really awesome. Everything needs some light. What an awesome thing to do. What a great poem.
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Wow you did an amazing job in this it's just ... wow I can't think of anything appropriatly good enough to say
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^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ out of ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
Tim! This was a great poem, I loved the message! I think this might be the first poem you've ever written that had a partial meter! ^_^ Good Job! -
a sad poem with a hint of hope
Hi Tim. I read your poem with interest. I have to be honest and tell you that I don't believe in Jesus but would never disrespect you or anyone else that does believe. You may have sinned, been "rejected by the world" but I think the first step is to forgive yourself. Then, and only then, will you be able to move on with a lighter heart. Good luck Tim
Edited on Oct 26, 12:52 because ''. -
The greatness of God's grace is that it is available to all, but Romans 10:10 tells us that confession is made unto salvation. It is good to know you have received the new beginning salvation through Christ makes available for all.
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this is really awesome. that's cool that you've found your path. congrats!
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You've got my praise and my applause. This is a very well written poem and it serves as a reminder of how much Jesus loves us. It's just awesome to think that he would give up his life on the cross... just so that we can experience eternal life and spend eternity with God. Awesome.
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Call me .. whatever that word is, but whenever I see lengthy comments now, I think about points. (Maybe cause I need them) But I won't ramble.. just will say nice job and go my merry way.
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Excellent two thumbs up... Brava!!
Beautiful heart-felt words woven in eloquent simplicity I thank you so much for this heart-felt poem/prayer... when we walk in the light the darkness is left behind... you do this so eloquently here... Two thumbs up... Brava!!! -
What I really love about this piece is that it is short and simply worded, yet packs a wallop of reality and faith here. Definiately a wondefully, heartfelt piece. GREAT job!
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I like this one.
This is indeed very good and well you did an excellent job here on this piece. I am very proud of you. -
nice work
Sharcu, "I am forgiven" in a very nice poem of true enlightenment, that only comes from one place alone. I also like hoe you related to be being black or very bad, to everything can be forgiven, nice work, image and visions -
Good
great prayer go angel......... -
Great poem...sweet picture. ~ Sue
Edited on Oct 26, 11:29 because ''. -
wow...I like how you show a drak poem in a new meaning, people think dark is all about evil pain and anguish completly black, but you can't know darkness wiht out knowing light...you show it more as a revealing...making it seem more real almost...wow...very well done!
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Vital. Real! You are the supreme. There are, about, five tears in my eyes right now and they're quickly leading to more.
Perhaps because I;n emotionally imbalanced...
Rather, because this is so beautiful... -
Well done all round
This is exceptional. It is short and sweet. You get the image of it being a young person by the language used, and the short length. Shorter poems are also more challeging because they really make you think about implied meaning so that was good.
The beautiful thing about asking for forgiveness is that it humbles us. We know that we are forgiven through the blood of Jesus. The imagery of the fallen and the forgiven, the movement between the two make this write all the more dramatic. Being forgiven is an excellent foil for being fallen.
Many people have the misconception that a dark poem is simply bleak all through and this is (speaking from a literature teacher's point of view of course) such a sad misconceptions because the best dark poems often have elements of light in them that make the darkness more dramatic.
Well done all round.
Marissa. -
This is an amazing piece. It's encouraging to see others share their faith!
And the little picture you used reminds me of a plaque I had as a little child with a morning prayer on it. Good luck in the contest!
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this is realy good...but did you know that even though you are forgiven b4 you ask that you still have to ask....
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