Flowers are more numerous than the race of humans.
They die every year, but the changes they go through to maturity are fascinating- like you, like me.
People die every day.
Baby boomers are numerous, but they will be gone within 50 years,
most having had only one or two children.
The population is declining.
The maturation of a flower is fast and predictable
unlike that of a child;
but so, the changes are more fascinating multiplied a hundred times.
To know that I will never have a child by you-
rips at my heart,
gnaws my stomach,
tears my mind.
A coffin nail to the marriage would be a child, so you say.
A coffin nail to the marriage without a child is my stance-
One I could live with, but always regret.
Like a flower matures in rapidity,
children do likewise.
Years fly by as days and then they are
grown and gone.
I don't want another dead marriage;
so I am torn.
Doubts cloud that secret eye,
held in stasis in my mind.
Everyday it shuts some more
until I'll be dead inside.
Have I chosen wrong?
I cannot help but love you, with all your faults and dreams.
I cry inside as the cataract builds; it hurts.
How can I say such things NOW?!!!
I don't know.
When the finality hit me; a sore began to fester.
We have some obstacles to overcome.
Author notes
Written October 25th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
hi
-
no... I was telling you to read a poem under my other ID...
I'll IM you. -
you tell me to read this poem??
beautiful jenna,
i think you and me are similar.
but you are older and may have more techniques in life.
and my techniques work well for me too. i am ruthless.
but for you, i become nervous. i want the smile on you,
like the one of your daughter, in that picture. and not the one you may put up for everyone in the world.
i am going to read something happy.
Edited on Mar 02, 8:07 p.m. because ''. -
very nicely done
it is always nice to love someone despite or because of their flaws. Relationships turn sour due to different circumstances. It seems as tho you and this individual (judging by the conclusion of the poem) are going to find yourselves coming out of the darkness....
Well done
Respectfully,
Olivia
-
Great Analagy
I love the analagies you use, some strange but explaining the circumstance perfectly. Don't be so sad life hold many things for such a talented person. Thanks for the read!!! Keep 'em coming. -
Brilliant
I love how you started this poem. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I'll be sure to pray for you. You did a wonderful job on this.
GOD bless you.
<3 Lindsey -
good metaphors and all but the title seems to bring the poem down but it's catchy nd i like catchy titles so it works great write though i really enjoyed
-
this really is so beautifully written...I am so impressed and can only wish you could take the "and so does this poem" off the end of your title...because it's really such poor lead-in to an eloquent piece of writing!!!
Jo -
You can't go wrong if you keep asking questions. The answers are up for interpretation but up there for your interpretation.
-
Very beautiful!! So much emtion!
-
I thought this was well-written and quite impressive, but totally inappropriate for the contest which seemed to be asking for teeny angsty crap which this is NOT!
-
hm... it's actually not a bad poem. Very awkward rhythm, but apart from that, not bad... Oh well, thanks for entering anyway.
-
I love the underlying angst in this poem. The want of one to bring life into the world. I liked the imagery because I could see the relationship to the actual topic.
Very good write. Good luck. I liked it a lot. -
I can relate to this poem so much. Im going through my own children moving out and leaving me one by one. I have one living states away and I havent seen him in two years. We talk once in a while on the phone. I have one thats only 17 and he moved in with a friend from school for his own reasons. I have a 9 year old still at home. I dread the day she is gonna try to move out. I think then is when I will lose what little bit of sanity i have left. But anywho...
You did an awesome job on this poem. I liked this part:
Like a flower matures in rapidity,
children do likewise.
Years fly by as days and then they are
grown and gone.
Its oh so true. Wonderful job. Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing it here with all of us at AP.
Peace
*Lust*
-
Not much to critique, this is wonderful, as-is. Well formatted with uniqueness and imagery. Quite emotional, yet level-headed.
Good luck in the contest.
Bestest of wishes and all that other mushy, gushy stuff ~Meli~
-
Loved the title, realy caught my eye.
-
this was intersting but nice as hell it i was well writen and the metaphor between children and flowers was awesome and this was well written the longing for a child is a great thing nice
-
Wow this was very unique. I really am taken back by how you chose to portray humans to flowers. I liked it alot! You did such a wonderful job and in such a unusual way. Great work!
-
yep, a worthy entry. thanks.
-
this is a great poem actually - so much emotion and imagery into it - its great, really. keep the emotional force in all your work and it will make them all more meaningful. this is a sad piece but a good one none-the-less.
-
good job
Very sad never to want children in ones life, I have many, shall I say more that a few? I cannot image life without them. What a joy, what a heartache, each one is so different. This is quite a pin job of a poem. I think it still could use some work to smooth out the ruff edges, but overall a good job.
I like being in such good company as the many poets here at AP. Just brushing shoulders with all of you is inspirational in itself. Many of the great poems make me realize the depth of the water, as it were, that we drift upon.
SirPort
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
5 old applause
