I entered a contest at AllPoetry.com
And I thought my poem was really good.
(I just pretended that I read the others
Like the contest's host said I should.)
I don't know much about poetry.
I just think winning is really neat.
But getting trophies is more fun
When I think of how many I beat.
Pretending that I'm talented is great
But what truly fills my heart with glee
Is thinking that a lot of other writers
Are feeling sad and inferior to me!
I don't have time for punctuation.
Spelling and grammar bore me so.
Besides, creative geniuses like me
Don't have time for that, you know?
Anyway, the stupid contest ended
And my poem didn't even place!
I was so mad, if I could find him,
I'd punch the winner in the face.
But I can't, so instead I'll just leave
An insulting comment on his work
So that he won't feel so damn happy,
That self-important, egotistical jerk!
I'll call him a poser and a "talentless hack"
(Though I've only read one of his poems.)
I'll say his work is too long and rambling
(Though the masters all wrote epic tomes.)
The next best thing to having talent myself
Is trying to hurt the people who actually do,
So I'll do my best to make them feel small
Even when I know my criticisms aren't true.
Then when he answers me angrily
For being such a disrespectful wiener
I'll accuse him of being too defensive
and act innocent so he looks meaner!
But by then, my mission will be accomplished.
I will have disrupted his happiness in winning.
Then I'll return to my warped and tiny world
And attack someone else, maniacally grinning.
Gosh, how did I ever survive without the Internet?
I mean, in real life, I'm afraid to say boo to a goose.
But from my dark, little room and anonymous name,
I can insult everyone and let my demons run loose!
Author notes
To all the people out there in AllPoetryland who have trouble losing gracefully. The colors I chose for this page are "envy green" and "anger red".
Written October 25th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- What Makes A Sore Loser? by Diamond.
500 points, ended October 29, 2005, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 82 of 82
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Oooh... Nice bit of sarcasm here. I like it! By golly, I do!
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This is great. I really like this one, I'm beginning to lose my lengthy comment bug or whatever it is so I should be short and sweet on most of them soon. This was hilarious. I love the way you did this. I have had a couple of sore losers, I have also had people accuse me of stupid stuff on here when I judge contests. Great poem.
Sharon -
Tit for tat? Moi? Surely you have me confused with someone else. (I know - you don't, and don't call me Shirley. lol)
There's just no telling who's going to win contests around here most of the time. There's no way to tell who's going to win contests around here, but there's no excuse for not reading entries. That is worth complaining about. Those fartheads. lol
Happy Thanksgiving!
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lol omg Mark for shame hahahaha I can't help it I am laughing here.. I so know you aren't like this but I have seen you give tit for tat when it is due ( our so very favorite friend
and former group we were in) but only complaint I ever have when I don't win other than the authors must be blind is how they always seem to miss reading my work. So many do fail to realise that Gold members can tell unless you are cloaked, if you read it. Most just don't 
Take Care you evil lil man, Whisper -
The only guy that could ever really get away with crazy word usage and all was E.E. Cummings, and that's 'cause he really was a genius.
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LMAO
I couldn't have said it better myself! You've done got my side to hurtin'! I can't tell you how many times I have agonized over picking the top 3 in my contests to have some sore loser whine about how I must have spent 3 minutes on the decisions! How hateful a comment to make. Great poem Mark. Here the rhyme worked well.
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Congratulation Mark so pleased you got the silver,I would really have been jarred off it you had stolen my gold ( hee Hee)Seriously my friend i congratulations,i would have been no less happier if you had picked up the Gold, I loved your work as I said earlier.Look forward to the next battle Well done
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'...I don't have time for punctuation. Spelling and grammar bore me so. Besides, creative geniuses like me Don't have time for that, you know?' I love ya, Mark...you nail 'em right in the bulls...eye...every time...
I IM'd someone on a poem, telling them they needed an apostrophe in a contraction...they said it was 'their style'...
Yeah??? Forget ever being published then...I've seen some amazingly bad poems win contests & figure 'it's who ya know' in those instances...& bad critiques only make me see red & call out the AP Calvary... Another right~on write from daMeister...Bravo, Mark...
Wanda
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Congrats on winning 2nd and the trophy! Your poem is great and you deserved to win. Keep up the great work. Congrats!
Peace
Lust -
Oh my gosh!...I thought this poem was way to funny...it kept me laughing the whole time I was reading..
Maybe it's because I'm not a sore loser..I'm what you call a gracious loser even tho I am very competitive. I really thought this poem was good!!!
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o.o Honestly, I haven't seen that big of a problem with sore losers around here. I've entered plenty of contests and neither received grief when I won nor given it when I've lost... Course, I only have four golds, so I have little experience in the matter.
Anyway... clever poem, very amusing, and good luck in the contest. I'll agree that in a few spots, the meter did slip, but it was only noticable after I'd read it a couple times. I think the last stanza was actually the off one, the second half of it was wonderful but the first half came across forced. -
What you say may be true, but then you have to remember that nobody is better or worse than you, then you may write some other possitive things, anyway, i like it! because it shows who you really are, and that is good, i hope you find a way to channel your talent! many good wishes! Monchi
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There is much truth in jest here.
Desiree
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extremely funny
Oh yes this is quite a read and the subject matter is rather interesting...you must have enjoyed writing this and chuckled all the way through...you have a good sense of humour which comes through to the reader from your poem...I can agree with your point of view and how sickening it feels when your poem is good and comes nowhere...~Lilac~ -
Nice poem!
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Ah, got it. Thanks.
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Whaddyamean, long? lol
Yes, a few people have accused me of projecting my own feelings onto the boo frickin' hoo hoo'er a bit in this one. It's the classic dilemma. If a writer writes too well about, say, a rapist, the unitiated think he must be one himself. Otherwise, how did he know the rapist's mind so well? The answer is imagination, of course. If a writer had to be every character he writes about, writers would be an even more neurotic group than we already are. haha
Thanks for the yuks.
M
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Well, for the most part, everything flows well. The line I got caught on was "And attack someone else, maniacally grinning". That word "maniacally" is probably just too difficult for me to say. I like to read rhyming poems out loud to really appreciate them, and I had to read through that line a couple of times! Thanks for asking!
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Please let me know where the meter is off. Something I've found about rhyming poems is that if you put the emphasis on the wrong word, the meter can seem off. I'd be interested in finding out where you stumbled. Thanks.
Mark -
Yes, I've seen this happen quite often in our AllPoetry world. Of course coupled with our sore losers, we also have contest hosts who only choose their friends as winners. It is difficult to handle both. (that's why I'm glad I'm not a mod! ). You've expressed yourself quite well here; though, the meter is off at times which can cause the reader to stumble when reading.
Thank you for sharing this piece, and best of luck in the contest! -
B'WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Whew! I'm really glad you got that one out...I'd hate to see that muse festering gleefully within your brainspace...lol!!! Do I sense your having issues with people who have issues? Glad your a talented writer, instead of a boxer or a martial artist...um...wait
Good one...even though it's so darn long
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Hey Roger,
My sentiments exactly. Then again, after a bad decision in a boxing match, people yell at and throw things at the judges. I guess that happens around here once in a while, too. lol
Thanks,
Mark
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well said..great write..really enjoyed this..was laughing so hard after the first verse I could barly see to read the rest of the poem. To be honest tho I have had entries in contests that I thought should have won but never I been so rude as to leave a nasty comment on either the winner or the host of tne contest.
Roger -
Hey Shaggy,
Nitpick away! I can take it. lol
Thanks for reading,
Mark -
Ahh, the voice of experience. Some people take this site a little too seriously. I'd nitpick, but I'm not in the mood - good luck in the contest.
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hillarious
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This was so funny! I loved reading it! This rhyme wasn't cheesy or stupid at all! It was so full of wit and cleverness. Great write! All this and I totally know how you feel, it's nice to win. Tee hee.
-Kevin -
I loved this; it's so true. and the rhyme and rhythm were flawless as well. You perfectly summed up a teenage, Allpoetry soreloser - it's seems as if it's the talentless people who take winning SO terribly seriously. At least when the person is about nineteen and younger... and i can say that because I'm nineteen, so I'm part of that group wonderful poem, good luck in the contest!
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excellent writing
This is soooooooooo FUNNY. You have honestly described exactly how some of the losers act. I especially enjoy the part you speak of leaving the nasty comments. I am ROTF laughing.
etherealforu
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Two Fingers Right Up (mIdDlE OnEs) this rocked. great and true.
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and this is the one and the same Mark Rickerby that posts all those insightful and thought-provoking posts about our lives as individuals? when I see the real Mark, I have to tell him about this funny evil twin he's got! this poem was adorable...all that was left for you to do was to vandalize the other poetry entries in the contest...kinda try to get their little poetry poem sites to crash, you know? but really cute and I laughed and enjoyed immensely!!!
Jo -
I loved this.Your words are so true.I am sure most of us feel the community spirit.It's all about sharing.It's just the odd few who have the airs and graces.Let's face it they are the one's that will get left out in the cold.BRRRRRR!!!!!! Who left that door open.Great Poem, loved it, Ros
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Way true, and well written.
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AMAZING POEM
This was a wonderful poem and sooooo true. I have seen some very sore losers on here.This was wonderful and so refreshing to read. Thank you for sharing. You are a wonderful writer.
This poem could win a Gold
I couldn't agree with you more
mean poets who spew venom
these losers who are sore
Take care,
Sandy
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This is amazing!!! I loved it bravo bravo!
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this one was a riot to read....you nailed it...so true....this gave me a laugh this morning....i know a few people like this....i have nothing against someone with a page full of trophies...but then when i read their stuff and think you gotta be kiddin me...bad spelling, grammer and punctuation all over the place....you know that it's just friends handing trophies to friends....i at least know enough to have someone smarter than me edit my poems....this is great work....good luck...Peace Abel
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Mark Rickerby, I offer you my applause, for your obviously understand of human nature packaged in a clever, entertaining format. Thank you.
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Thanks, Suzy. It was therapeutic to write, that's for sure. As the old Beach Boys song goes, "Oh, it's been building up inside of me for, oh, I don't know how long." lol
xo
Mark -
Hey Shell,
Thanks for the condolences but this contest isn't over yet! Perhaps the old line 'It's not whether you win or lose - it's how you play the game' is just as true here as it is in sports. So many ugly character traits are revealed by bad sportsmanship. I've lost in contests to poems I thought were terrible, but I wouldn't think of insulting the judge or the winning poets. What's the point? It's not like we're playing for blood. lol It's one of those "how much will it matter in the great scheme of things" moments. We're just one site among millions. Who cares who wins or loses some little contest? What matters is the writing and what it does for the writer and, of course, the thoughtful reader.
Thanks,
Mark
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good
Hey great job on this everyone likes to win sorry that you didn't I hope you do better on yhe next. You have talent -
This is really funny... I wish it could have lasted longer. Although i feel teh same way, I wouldnt been able to write this peace as well as you.
excellent piece -
Hmmmm are these the ones we sweetly call "trophy whores"?
Constests on Ap are purely subjective. Ive had them, Ive won them. I never took offense to losing, because they are not based strictly on talent (which again is subjective) They are based on what someone likes...pure and simple.
I agree with your last stanza most...Those who can be the rudest here on AP, do so because its an annonymous medium. In the real world, they might just get as good as they give.
Great rhyming vent!
Mary Ann -
Thanks, Brenda. I'm glad you liked the picture. I was worried a picture of a jackass might be a bit over the top. haha (Not really. Actually, I hope it offends the people who see themselves in this poem.)
Take care,
Mark -
Great poem! It was hilarious, but at the same time, you've expressed yourself very well. I don't think I have to vent my anger anymore. I'll just read your poem again.
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simply hilarious.
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Thanks, Avril. Yes, people who host contests then give trophies to their friends instead of the best writers is a whole other issue. It's a good thing there's no AP police force and court system or there would be a lot of people warming cells right now for breaking common sense and decency laws. lol
Thanks,
Mark
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Me, neither. I loved that show (especially the country girls with the little checkered tops tied in a knot at the front lol). I hope it comes back soon. Then again, it would probably flop because the humor isn't crass or perverted enough for today's more "sophisticated" audience. lol
Thanks,
Mark -
"Tiny little minds in dark corners plotting ambush and trying to hide on a worldwide broadcasting system." hahaha Couldn't have said it better myself. I just hope they take the trash out on this site and crack down on the poopheads who enjoy insulting people. I really don't know why they put up with it.
Thanks,
Mark -
oh my god..was this hilarious!! But even in humor is there truth and you did it again!! Saying something that on the surface is laugh-out-loud funny but when you ponder on it.....the truths of human nature are revealed...love love love this!!! suzy
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Hooooray! Jumping for Joy! (who ever that is), Loving It!, Applause! Encore! I love how you got this so on cue. Some here are just like that too. Good luck in the contest I hope you win cause you definately know what a bad loser is. It's scary though to think that you know it so well...hmmmmmmm.....could you be? ah, NO! HUGS ~val~
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Hey my eyes are burning!!Well yeah many people seem different from what they really are on the net!!Nice write..And sad you didn't win the contest that made you unleash the monster within!!Did you apologise to tht winner!!Poor person whoever it was!Good luck next time!And yeah this contest too!!
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WOW THIS POEM WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONG I CANT RIELY CONSENTR8T NEMORE BUT NEWAY WUT I RED WUZ PRTY FUNY U SHUD CUT DOWN ON UR POME LENGTH THO OH AN IF U WIN ILL KIK UR ASS CUZ MY POEME IS MUCH BTR THAN URS
Anyway...sorry, couldn't resist typing that in; it's pretty pathetic to get comments like that, and trust me, I know the feeling quite well. Granted, few have whined about my poem's lengths, but I've gotten my fair share of bullshit comments. This really was funny, and apparently, it seems to be true for quite a few sore losers on this site. Of course, they'll never see it that way, which is why it's also kinda funny . lol
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P.S. I just gave you the little claping hands that comes with 7 points, so now maybe you can just pretend I have a sense of humor?
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I see envy green, which by the way hurt my eyes but the anger red, oh damn, I see that now too
Anyways, I was very amused by this. I think that you did a great job expressing your pent up anger for sore losers, especially the ones who tell you that your work is too long. I think I might have to steal you, lock you up and make you write poetry all day, and then I will just say its mine, and as long as you never get lose, no one will know the difference j/k! I was being funny, did it work? Okay, so my humor sucks, but I find myself funny, so what else matters?
Now I am rambling, but the point of the matter is, this is so true and it made me smile. Mission accomplished
I love the title too: "Boo Fricki' hoo hoo".
Great job!!!
with love,
Criss
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Mark you are good no matter what direction your poetry takes. some how I could see a few of those barbs maybe coming your way?? Now that is not to say you are a hack or long winded ( ) but the kind of person who actually does what the contest asks and that is what irks people the most.
That is where i get the most complaints.
Well done and fun to read.
Susan
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Holy Cow Mark! ROTFLMAO!!This is too much. and the picture really captures it all in a polite way of course. In fact take all my trophies I got and than some, this write is the icing, and the cherry on the cake. Fabulous Job Darlin' Much
and Respect as I wipe my tears (from laughing so hard). Brenda
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A Job Well Done!
I know how it feels for someone to leave a rude, insulting and intimidating comment after a person is declared a gold winner. That is what inspired me to open this contest to begin with. If they have a gripe, they should take it up with the host and not with the winner is who basically innocent of wrong doing unless of course he or she is a friend of the host. I adored your slapstick humor, it clearly depicts just how some contestant behave. Then there's the other side of the coin, the judges who hold contests to allow their friends to win. I think this is an atrocity that you've addressed as well. Your poem spoke loud and clear and i'm certain that many of us can see ourselves in this poem. Thank you for entering and best wishes in the contest. Avril
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Hey/ I HAVE noticed there is alot less road rage out there these days...maybe the internet will replace psycho-therapists one day. hahahahahaha.
PS Love your graphics always. Hadn't see Hee Haw in many years! -
I love your tongue-in-cheek appraisal of overly greedy contest entrants who can't accept defeat. You are wickedly funny in this write, and anyone who doesn't see the humor is probably about the color of this background. I've found that even with a pseudo name, the members of AP still get to be known by the reputations their names have earned. Tiny little minds in dark corners plotting ambush and trying to hide on a worldwide broadcasting system? (Now that's smart!) You are just too cool, Mark.
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w00t w00t! Great poem! That was marvelous. I laughed my ass off while reading it. I loved it! Good luck in the contest:0
Peace
Lust -
Well done!
That famous saying, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game" is sooo true. You play the game well, Mark. It's always a pleasure to read your poems and your comments. A person who criticizes a "winner" shows what a "loser" they really are!
Great poem...a winner with or without a trophy!
♥ Maureen
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A most amusing piece,always did have a love of humour mainly pointed at myself.I think the best way to deal with the nasty side of criticism is to applaud the comment and agree with it sure does take the wind out of their sails,then nip over to the authors page and go to town.That way others don't see how upset you are.And you know that their ego wont let them not read your comments.great job enjoyed the read,being a bad loser that I am, hope to hell you lose this one.
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Ha ha ha. well you certainly put a smile on my face with this one Mark.
It's sad that some cannot lose gracefully in any walk of life.
A most hilarious write.
Ann -
MARK, that was absolutely fabulous! I just love it........love the words you used, the flow, everything about it.( Even the subject matter), I've had to endure defeat myself! You did a superb job here! ....................Doc
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Hi Renee,
That is so funny. I can't believe someone tried to insult you for being friendly. Unbelievable. There are some miserable ne'er-do-wells among us, that's for sure.
Please do write something for this contest. Someone has to take the air out of these windbags. It might as well be us. lol And I wouldn't mind losing to you at all. I think we've all entered more contests than we've won. It's bound to happen. If I don't place and don't like the poem that won the gold, I usually don't say anything because any criticism would be immediately suspect. If I make any suggestions, I do it BEFORE the contest is over so that no one can accuse me of sour grapes. And if the poems that won are better than mine, I happily acknowledge it. Nobody hits the bulls-eye every time, and there are a lot of talented people on this site. It takes nothing away from me to recognize and praise them. Unfortunately, some can't bring themselves to praise but are always Johnny on the spot when it comes to criticizing. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. lol
Thanks, pal
Mark
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HAHAHAHAHA :))
Hahahahahahahahaha ahhhhhhahahahahaha ahhhh
First off, I love, love, love, the jackass! hahahahahaha
Too funny!
I am a trophy whore, I must be honest and admit that! I have entered twice (probably three times) as many contests as I've won, but I really don't despise anyone else for winning. I just run to the next contest, and if I lose 50 in a row, at least I got a lot of practice. Hahahahahahaha This is fabulous.
Wanna hear a flip side? I got a reply the other day that said; "Must you always leave such superlative and unnecessary comments on poems?" Hahahahahaha It doesn't even pay to be nice! LOL
This is um--I dare--um--not say-- GREAT! I hope you win! Now let me enter to see if I can beat you out for the trophy! 
Good luck my friend and Blessings!
♥ Much Love ♥
Renee
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When I saw this in the feature block, I just had to sneak around and read it, particularly with all the "contest complaining" going on these days. This sounds extremely realistic, perhaps even based on a poet (or poets) here at AP - imagine that. Well, if the contest holders don't have to read the entries, why should one of the entrants? Good job, my friend. I think your dart is stuck firmly in the bullseye with this.
Paul -
boo frickin' hoo
the title is great.
creative. funny. good job with writing this. enjoyed the read. good luck in the contest.
Blu
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Bravo !!!
LMAO So true, so true! You've captured the personality type perfectly with your words and the picture, too
I entered a contest once, the guy/gal said he/she wanted to learn how to critique. So I tried my first diamente. "Nothing but a meaningless string of adjectives, give up this style altogether, and give me a short story." I mean, really, how DIPLOMATIC can you get By the time a had a short story polished up, the contest was closed for judging. LOL I gave him/her a D- (in my mind)for critique style and went on. Haven't had the nerve to try another diamente, though
Edited on Oct 25, 2:57 p.m. because 'typos'. -
excellent
Oh how well you express this feeling. I think we have all comeup against those. A poetery site that goes one step better is Poemhunter. They have a score board. You don't have to leave comments just give a score between 1 and 10. I left there because someone went around putting a 1 or a 2 on everyones poems, pushing them down in spirit and respect. Some idiot didn't realise he was scoring one of Silversteins and gave her a 1. It would have been funny if not so stupid. I quit the site. It was so malicious.
At least here people have to comment and identify themselves if they have something to say. That in my books is far better.
At least we know who we are dealing with.
Hugs
Jan
OH ! PS. The poem was excellently written LOL forgot to tell you in my rantings. -
This is very good. I have run into experiences such as this myself and it is such a shame. I also know that such times are not only related to the contests but also to those who frequent the CB. They love to goad and egg on those in there until something is finally said to them. They then cry to the powers that be as if innocent and BANG... a ban is issued to the ones that have taken so much abuse while the abuser walks away with a smirk. Excellent write.
Lily ~* -
lol oh my goddes how damned funny. I have seen way to many of the sore losers when I host contests. this was so incredably well done and so freaking true. I am glad to see you had the guts to write this bold peice, and speak your mind. awsome.
angel -
i have nothing else to say but HEAR HEAR.
the people who u lose to are completely deserving. so
xxxx
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Gold winning masterpiece
This was awesome! I know, I've dealt with one of those talentless hacks who leave rude comments just a few moments ago, I sure hope he reads this and feels his kinship to the words. I hope you win the contest, you sure deserve it, not only is the write screaming the truth, but the rhyme, meter and flow are perfect. A flawless, gold winning piece of genius.
Take care, good luck, and write on.
~Sherry~
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side-splittingly funny! and seriously my side
ENCORE ENCORE!!!! i liked this......i was seriously lughing really hard and now my stomach aches but i'm glad you wrote this. it brought some happiness to my wacked-out day! great job! hope you keep it up!
~*Cammy*~
P.S.
the rest of my verdict says "seriously my side hurts "
in case you might wonder
Edited on Oct 25, 2:32 p.m. because 'because Cammy says she can!'. -
Much too true Mark. -Al
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nice picture
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You got me in trouble, you bad person, for making me laugh while I was supposed to be working. Shame, shame. :tsk:
Very well written - I enjoyed it entirely too much. I needed that.
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Bravo from me too Mark. I was involved in a coversation just the other day on this very subject. Surely it's not the winning, but the taking part and the friends we make along the way. Well done for speaking out...mal
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I have seen comments like "It is too long for my short attention span" on your page, so I know you wrote this from your own experiences. Great job, Mark.
Cheryl
Three Cheers!!
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Bravo! There are several I know of that would do well to take a look at this. It appears you've run into a few of them as well. Great write. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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