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In Awhile

It's been awhile
Since i've written
I can't stand the pain

I haven't smiled
I miss being smitten
All I see is rain

I stare at tiles
Petting my kitten
Feeling so drained

All I want to do is hide
No one wants to see inside
All I want to do is cry...

But you don't see that.
I keep it under my hat.
All you see is an act.

Yea, it's been awhile.

Author notes

This is my first writing in quite a few months...i'm rusty so be brutal.
Written October 25th, 2005

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Comments


  • NoWayJo
    October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I don't want to be brutal Vampic, and I understand rusty...been there/done that.

    I just think if you took the emotion of this poem and made a picture of what it looks like in your mind, and then took that picture and drew it into words to your readers, it would empower your writing a great deal. poetry isn't so much what you tell us, it's what you show us that allows the reader to step back and feel the emotion as you do. try to think of your poem as a painting...only a painting of words.

    Hope this has been helpful and you'll see the rust will soon be gone!


  • October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is great. I am filled with some sort of sadness for you, you need love *hugs*. At least you have hope, and haven't given up completely. I guess your not quite as weak? sensitive? I dunno...as some people. Including me.