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mélancolie

summer doesn’t last
  longer than
the fleeting moments    
     of pure
          untainted  exhilaration

in the autumn rains
  art thrives
 as the eternal
shelter of the unloved
                         suffering from
 melancholy

paint the world red
  and the clouds will burst
with the misery
          we hold deep within our cores

if more
   than a few meaningless words
  find their way out
ceaselessly
they will be followed
  by apathetic
 indifference of the minds

by the next summer
  the cynical will have won
over the world

perhaps
the cheerful whispers
   will resume

but to no satisfaction.

Author notes

Wrote that during the summer, dreading the dreary fall and winter days. I suppose this will be understood better by those who live in a climate with a lot of rain, rather than eternal sunshine. But at the very core, I'm sure all can relate.
I appreciate any feedback at all, whether it's something technical, or just you sharing your emotions and feelings.
Written August 1st, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Poet Raja
    June 1, 2006
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    Very Touching!!!

    Looks like you are keeping your word and not posting any poems at all. I suppose a Goddess has to keep her words or else!!! Coming to this poem, we dread the sunshine as it is too hot during summer here in India. Winter is equally bad as we are not sued to the cold either. So it is the period in between that makes our day, kind of twisted right?

    You have a way with words and express your emotions in such a way that it touches the very soul. People can get to the core of your words and feel them for themselves. It is a pity that you will not post anymore. But can a mortal man question the Goddess?

    Love and blessings from India - Joel -


  • g r e y i s m
    March 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very pretty all the way throughout. I enjoyed the read. which makes me wonder: are you still committed to not posting here anymore?

    Lea


  • lively banter
    November 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I forgot to say this: crap crap crap crap crap crap.


  • lively banter
    November 8, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice job, this is an excellent poem. First off, I liked your word play in the title. That was pretty clever. You have great vocabulary and you use it well by creating wonderful images with your figurative language. I liked how you took a basic idea in this poem (dreading the change in the weather) and expanded it to something bigger. You gave a new life with your creative ideas which gave the poem more meaning to it. I also liked that you were creative with your format. It adds more interest to the poem. I can relate to this poem since I too dread the rain even though it probably doesn't rain as much here as it does where you live. Thank you for entering in my contest, good luck and keep up the good work.

    ~Kevin


  • Paint Me Beautiful
    October 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely amazing..best of luck to you in the contest..i look forward to reading more from you in the future

1 - 5 of 5