My heart is broken
waiting to mend
from the loss of love
I search and I search
trying to find
the love I am missing
somewhere, anywhere,
My heart is broken
the ache will not still
from the loss of love
and the search never ends
the pain that I feel
rips my heart in two
and peace remains out of reach
The hurt
the ache
the betrayal I feel
for a love that is gone
and I know wasn't real
My heart is broken
it will not mend
from the loss of love
from the pain so real
searching for answers
I never will find
for this broken heart
Author notes
Written October 24th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
-
This is an awesome poem, great imagery and feeling woven into the poem. I hope you're feeling better soon.
HannaH. -
I like the hope in the words... "my heart is broken.. waiting to mend... " That tells me that there is hope.. but later in the poem the hope dwindles.... I say we hold onto the hope.. I know one day my heart will mend Keep writing.. you do it so well.
-
My thanks to all of you, who came to visit my heart, and offered your words of love and comfort. That is what I need most right now. I feel a part of myself has died, and I am trying to find myself in my words again. Learning to live again is the hardest thing to do, but I will find a way...
-
Thanks for the critique and words of support. They really do mean a lot to me right now.
-
Thank you so much for your love and support. I appreciate the feedback as well. The highs and lows we go through, when we have lost something so deep are like riding a rollercoaster in hell... Thanks for taking your time.
-
good
Pretty good. It describes how some one can truely feel when your heart is broken, which I have lots of experience with. -
Enjoyed this look at a broken heart - written a bit differently than many previous ones. Each verse is a bit different than the other ones, so there is really no form as such. Liked the read.
-
heartbreak is hell in whatever form it comes in. the emotion is loud and clear in this poem. as mentioned before i would suggest replacing some words with synoyms to reduce the repitition...the poem can be made unique
-
love and betrayal. la belle dame sans merci. the poems that spoke like the heart itself. that seems lacking these days, lost among blind dtes and one night stands. thanks for writing this poem.
-
Well it is really a heartfelt write revealing the depth of the loss in love through and through. The each line is very touchy too bringing the deepness of the thought in frame to convey the message of the heart to the readers. The beauty of the write lies in its structure which is bearing the injuries of the hearts in the shapes of painful words . The love has been spoken in terms of the philosophy of life too where its broken shape is depicted with its sentiments too. The flow of the write is very impressive and just to the point too. The poetic frameworks is nicelly coordinating the expressions of the emotions with accurate words structure too. I really appreciate this work. prabhu dayal khattar
-
Really great poem. And I know 100% how you feel. I just recently experienced the loss of a love I thought was real and was going to be eternal, but in the end, was nothing more than a misguided feeling. Anyhow, this is a really emotional piece, and very well written. Excellent write!
--Animaechick
-
Sad, and nicely done. I'm afraid I have the same critique, give me more..
we all know that heartaches suck, tell me something different, why?
This flows perfectly though, I just left off feeling I needed more. But that's me.
I agree with SongByrd, the heart that's doing the breaking weeps the words, while we just read them.
Thank you for sharing this part of you, I wait to read more.
-
nice
Julia, sorry for you the heart ache and loss you're suffering, losing at love is always difficult, nice poem... hope things work out for you.
Image and Visions … Dare to dream, and have the courage to do that what others only dream of… Would you mind dropping by my site and commenting on my meager attempts at writing. -
Awww. Very sad and thoughtful - I hope that there is, somewhere, a mending for your broken heart...
-
So sweet, so very beautiful. Though it's a sad poem it's one I truly can relate to. Good luck with you writing!
-
Very good job, being that the pattern is consistent. The pattern makes it boring to read though. It just says the same repetative things in almost the same words. I like the format of the stanzas it's easy on the eyes but I would recommend changing some of it to make it mor interesting, bring out some feeling. All I hear is blah blah wah wah my heart is broken. There is no real feeling that jumps off the page. No passion about how broken your heart is or how hurt you feel. It's like your numb and straight forward. Though this is just my opinion. Poetry can mean more to the poet themselves, but if this is for audience I would rework it with intensisty.
Always pen from the heart and you shall never write wrong.
-SongByrd -
Wow. After reading some comments you've recieved on this, I just don't know what to say.
because you clicked the "critical review is invited," I'm going to assume that you are planning to revise this poem . . . so I have a couple suggestions. actually, I'm afriad that if I mentioned all the suggestions that I have you'd be totally overwhelmed, so the following is a list of cliches in the poem that I though would benefit from a change:
broken heart, waiting to mend, loss of love, somewhere, anywhere, rips my heart in two, the entire third and fourth stanzas.
this is a hard topic to write well on because it's so overdone, but don't hesitate to make your poem as unique and beautiful as you can! -
i like your double use of "real" to compare the real pain with the not-real love. it makes a good anchor for the whole piece.
-
Incredible write and also very sad. I've been where you are -- actually I'm there right now. Betrayal and loss of trust are two things in a relationship that no matter how hard you try there is no coming back from. Just remember that you deserve so much better. I can empathize with your pain and wish that you find the love of someone who will truly appreciate and love you back -- as I hope for myself. Hugs, Piper
-
This is a poem about heart break, written with a lot of emotion...but then since it doesn't reveal me enough, as an impartial reader, I couldn't be as much empathetic as I could have had there been detailed sequences in this...
Calvin -
excellent
Very indepth and sad poem . Well expressed. I hope healing will come....all the best. -
very sad emotions worded here
-
beautiful
My heart weep in the spring of the words, for the expression is just too true of the pain that cry inside the writers soul,wonderful courage and tones, but i hope the same song sang will shallow away with blue song of healing. good job mkeep the half heart in the lord's hand. -
awesome write, i agree with blind2u the poem flowed really really well. And I wish you good luck finding your love soon too.
-
wow, this was great it flowed together perfectly, i hope you find love soon.
Adding your comment:
1 - 25 of 25
5 old applause
