~ Paranoia Setting In ~

A friend asks me ‘can you keep a secret?’
The matter of the fact is
I can, I will, I always have, I always will
So as I normally do
I say ‘yes of course, please indulge me’
I am then lead to believe that one of my good friends
Is now actually in love with me
This isn’t the person that told me this, but a good friend of both of ours
The friend goes on to say that this girl mentioned this
While waiting to go on a trip one day
The girl said that she really liked me, loved me, meaning that she fancied me
At least this is how my friend perceived it
But I have the looming doubt
That the situation never happened, has been twisted; is more fiction than fact of life
But hope has already blossomed
A deep happiness has set in,
I begin to wonder ‘my oh my, is she going to be my first love’
I start to dream of how my life from now on just got ten times better
Then I drop back to reality
Realise what just happened
Laugh at my friend
I quote ‘yes and pigs can fly’
I look out the window, hoping for a pink flesh, curly tail, ‘oinking’ sign of intrigue
None comes and so I go back to believe
The fiction of this all, that she would never love me, or even at least like me
My friend states that it’s true; she loves me
However she doesn’t want to follow her feelings; as she feels they aren’t real
That she is off of boys at the moment in time and remains a good friend of mine
I ponder this moment in slow motion
It appeared someone actually loved me, actually cared
But denied it because of doubt and that she’s ‘on a break’
I am heartbroken, but I am also happy
I realise hope is lost, but I realise once again, I have been so silly
My friend is obviously sick, delusional or crazy
To kid me on something like this
She is still adamant that the girl loves me
But I stand by the pigs flying
The length of this shows my confusion
And as life now goes on I observe the girl subconsciously
She never seems that all over me or even close to be true, sure we talk, maybe flirt?
But it would seem nothing could ever come of our dear friendship
She can’t be acting, it’s too realistic
What to do? What to say? What the fuck give it a couple more days
Go to a party or involve myself more in her life and see what she says
I’ll ponder some more until I am definite on an answer
She loves me; she loves me not
Fuck sake, why’d my ‘friend’ have to even tell me...