Hot Load, You Sucker!
©copyright 2005 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C.
A few weeks ago, it was pitch black out there
as we small ladies sat on the deck talking;
each so secure with the forest around us.
Not a creature stirred nor was a dog barking.
Suddenly, we three were stuck in the doorjamb!
It could be that gun-shootin' crazy neighbor,
I cringed, then gritted, "Get in the house, right now!
We squeezed inside with our hearts in hard labour.
Seconds before, we'd heard a loud crash, snap, crunch.
Whoever it was had to be really large.
Now armed, I turned on floodlights and went back out.
"Mom! It could be a bear bigger than a barge!"
I leveled my three-fifty-seven magnum,
"Come out, you sucker! This thing is a hot load.
Its hollow points will have no mercy on you
and all the trees around you just might explode!"
Eerie quiet; so this granny spoke again,
"You'd better flee . . . if you're not utterly dumb."
Well, we sat back down, thinking he must be gone.
Of course, at my side I still gripped that huge gun.
The next morning I searched for foot or paw prints,
finding only one big thing; deceased, by chance.
I went in to give my girls a wry report.
"Well, it seems I would have shot a fallen branch."
We laughed hard as the scene replayed in our minds,
such humor in a new security test.
"How many folks can get through a door at once?"
We failed it badly: not even at our best.
Author notes
A few weeks ago, my daughter and foster daughter were here for a visit . . . well, this poem reflects what happened one eerily quiet, dark night up here in the Tahuya State Forest! Now, as most of you know, I recently had brain surgery; so, it's a good thing I didn't have to fire that 357: it likely would have kicked me right in the head! 
Written October 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- yay another contest by KirstenWar.
300 points, ended June 20, 2006, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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HOODWINKED !
Excellent relating of a happening in your life and how thankfully you were able to laugh about it later. You built this story up line by line, very well crafted my friend.
Hope this comment finds you feeling well today.
You have been Hoodwinked by your Poetic Bandit family today because WE CARE!
Brother dennis
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I must say enjoyed this story write, has suspence
Nicely done
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Ya never know how we women might react out in the woods!
While I have been trained to shoot, it was with a 38 instead of a 357 Magnum! Still, today, I can see that thing knocking me to the ground with its kick. I'm glad you enjoyed the true story and hope it gave you some laughter.
Much luv & hugs, SisBon 
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ooo wow i love
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this is good, i like how there's clues, with the lightning pic and the mention of " forest around us " and " trees might explode " i thought those were great. . .but, here comes my but. i thought it could be better if you added the drama of having written about shooting the gun during the time everything was happening, but you don't mention that until the next morning, which bothered me. i think this could be a great poem if you revamp it more and give it some thought. true stories are always the best ones, so keep with this one.
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this reminded me of when a bunch of female relatives and me were playing cards at my aunt's house. a bat flew into the kitchen and in four seconds flat five grown women were under the table it's amazing how fast we moved and what a tight fit we made. of course the men came running just to find us huddled under the kitchen table
gotta love those moments
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humorous...i could just see the 3 jumping and trying to scramble thru the door all at once and granny toting that magnum...great job
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Great piece! I'll say that must have been an interesting experience LOL You've done a great job weaving it into a poem here. Very much enjoyed. GREAT ONE! Happy Halloween, Gypsy
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This is really funny. It makes it even funnier that this isn't even a completely made-up story. That must have been hilarious! Surely if I hear something, I'll check the trees first from now on. Great job on this!
Best of luck in the contest!
~lavender shadows~ -
READ ME!!
This is so funny!! You had me all tingly with goosebumps then rolling with laughter!! This is a most entertaining write!! I will be thinking of this every time I'm out on my deck and hear a crackling in the trees! 
Karen
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Oh, Bonnie, this is too cute! I can only imagine how this truly must have looked. LOL Hugs, Patricia ♥
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Oh Bonnie! How funny! Your sense of humor is just quite simply....divine. I could just picture this. A wonderful sense of the true beauty of You and your laughter. Love to you dear woman!
~Lyrical
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WOW!
I AIN'T EVER COMIN' TO DINNER- ESPECIALLY LATE!!!
This was fun to read, clever- and omg, if indeed real- I best be careful and wear my armor at all times! Great job.
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i like how it was just a tree branch!!that made me laugh so hard
keep up the good work
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very cute and light write, I really enjoyed reading this. I think you did a wonderful job at captivating the readers attention the whold way through.
Keep up the great work -
LOL...great humorous narrative write here! Good luck in the contest!
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This was so funny. I liked the words you used and the picture you created. nice job! thanks for sharing it with me.
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eerie and cute and the lightening bolt was just the icing on top of the cake! really enjoyed this Halloween poem, and appreciate the extra efforts you have taken not only in the writing of this poem, but in its very display!
Jo -
LOL... This is a really cute story poem!!! It shows how panicky people can be sometimes!!! Good luck in the contest...
Hugs,
Beth -
I laughed when I read this! Thank you!! I needed that. Great imagery. I got the most comical visual with the three of you stuck in that door jamb at once! Thanks for posting this. Good luck in the contest!
Sheryl -
rofl omgs this was like thriller and suspense throwing a loop lol
...poor tree whatever did it do to you?? lol sorry i couldnt help myself
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