Rolling, rolling, dragon floating
Upon the rolling deep blue sea.
I should not this year have come boating,
My worst fear has come to be.
Bobbing, bobbing, we are sobbing
Watching the bobbing dragon's head.
His breath brought death, our hearts stopped throbbing
We are now forever to be more than dead.
The very thing all sailors dread
The dragon's curse has come to us,
To not be dead, -- undead instead.
A fate too terrible to discuss.
We roam the seas upon our knees
Bowed before his cloud of smoke.
Our captor dragon we must please
While his smoke causes us to choke.
On some days through the haze
He climbs aboard with the horde
Of undead who now his blaze
Does not kill when he's on board.
We trim the sails as he rails,
Breathing fire on our stinking mire.
He whips us with his hard sharp scales.
There is nothing to soothe our ire.
The dragon's tail raises huge waves
Waves that would drown living for good.
But we undead the ocean saves
Not killing for good, -- if only it could.
The waves wash many overboard
Some are bashed against the boat,
We undead always are restored.
Being undead keeps us afloat.
Will I ever escape this ship?
Will I get some water from rain?
Now of me he takes a nip.
Escaping the dragon is in vain.
Rolling, rolling, dragon floating
Upon the rolling deep blue sea.
I should not this year come boating,
My worst fear has come to be.
Bobbing, bobbing, we are sobbing
Watching the bobbing dragon's head.
His breath brought death, our hearts stopped throbbing
We are now forever to be more than dead.
Ellis
Author notes
Written October 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 15,000) - Part 5 Fantasy by cricketjeff.
1250 points, ended January 3, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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wow - I am surprised this hasn't won a trophy! I can see why you referred me to reading this after seeing "The Last Sailor." In many ways they are similar in the sense of desolation and futility. Your imagery and feeling is very potent. I loved how you repeated the first two stanzas at the end. It really tied the piece together. Amazing work and I could so relate to the hopelessness of never escaping the fate of the dragon and being undead. Kudos!
karen
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OH THIS IS BRILLIANT WITH A SMILE.
OH my. This was incredible! I TELL YOU WHY. IT reminded me almost exactly of this dream I had about this huge awesome dragon that they threw me off this HUGE awesome boat and i was like WOW ... swisshy swisshy swimmy swimmy. Yah know? But he didn't try to eat me! HAH, and then he ate the people who threw me off the boat and he took my back to the island. it was sooo awesome, like this poem dear friend. THIS IS STUPENDOUS, SUCH AN IMAGINATION YOU MUST HAVE. I appreciate imaginations to the full extent, and your diction is just magical. I love it. It reminds me also of the band Modest Mouse, there were definitely quite a few stanzas in here that really stood out to me. But mainly the theme of being undead.
Just AWESOME. by far.
---Dum, the noodle-brained-thing. ************* STARS!
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Melvin says this is unfair
He is a dragon but wasn't there
He's also sure it weren't his mother
And can't have been his baby brother
Are you quite sure was dragon-kind
Who's members were quite this unkind?
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damn you know a lot of people
i like the repition of the beginning which is also the ending.......it reminds me of a short story i wrote No Place Like Home......just the protagonist home is a tranquil beach and the undead is a destructive dragon -
Oh, Sir Ellis, this poem is an adventure that I enjoyed so much! I love the rhyming and story of it, VERY!
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Bobbing, bobbing, we are sobbing
Watching the bobbing dragon's head.
His breath brought death, our hearts stopped throbbing
We are now forever to be more than dead.
great line
holy crap
=[
mucho amor,
oldschool -
We're from the government and we're here to help you.
The undead in thrall to the dragon? With the story beginning again at the end? The meaning is clear. It's all a metaphor for a business audit by the tax office. LOL. Read the stanzas again with that in mind.
A good fun, over-the-top, write. Glad it's only fantasy!
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I love the pictures you painted with this! AMAZING work, I love your imagination, very beautiful. Keep writing
x -
it mde me feel llike i was a slave.It was AWESOME(the poem)
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good
Well, I found it to be a lot of fun... yes, reinventing the fantasy of ghostly ships and ghostly shipmates... Hell on the high seas! I think you have recreated an old mythology and should continue with the story.
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MY OH MY WHAT TANGIABLE IMAGERY
THIS REALLY IS EXCELLENT
BRAVO
T
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Undead, sailers and dragons! Wonderful story with such a vivid imagination. And the humor element over how the undead can float didn't escape me, even in the horrible undead turmoil of no escape. Enthralling. I think you might get a kick out of this story/poem that has been read and acted out on stage. I have five in the series but never posted. Plus, I have the twins in my novel so that worked out pretty nice. The link is: http://allpoetry.com/poem/40490 Hope it gives you a good laugh. You could use one today.--Ke
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Outstanding
I loved this poem. You have a versatile imagination. I liked the whole concept of the sea monster taking over the ship and the sailors trapped forever by his curse. Your choice of language is excellent and the rhyme is fluid with great flow. Best of luck in the contest.
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Many thanks for taking part in contest 5. ‘Fantasy’ in our rounds of contests in the Rhyming Extravaganza.
We have been surprised by the wide range of entries that we have had and the standard has been exceptionally high.
Please join us in the future rounds and enter writes that we would love to read and enjoy.
Thanks again for your entry,
Sue and Jeff
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This reminds me of Pirates of the Caribbean...the boat they have on their filled with the dead...
This is filled masterfully with with amazing imagery and a fascinating story, could be metaphoric as well..
Flawless rhyme and rhythm just makes it all the better!
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Excellent!!
This one tells a tale of wow doesn't it!! This reminds me of my Navy days! I alaways at sea would picture in my mind the sailing ships and the life of a real sailor. Fantastic job on this one!! Don
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Excellent!
wow, I feel so honored by your kind comments on my poems after reading your writing.....what a fantastic poem.....just loved it. Superb rhyming, (which I love), excellent story-telling.....100% my kind of poem, such a great read! This immediatly goes into my favorites.......
wish I could give u more than 3 of these little clappy guys.....
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Excellent poem. Brings back memories. We had a catamaran and sailed the Irish Sea for many years and there many many times that I thought my number was up and theb dragon was lying in wait. The only fun were the bbq's on the beach but true sailors probably wouldn't agree with me. I enjoyed the story, well done.
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Almost makes you wary of going to sea. I enjoyed the rhyme and the repetition. Your images are clear, I can see you flinch from that dragon's nip.
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this is very good i love it keep it up good luck
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A chilling tale of beasts that wail and drag us to our death
When they accost then all is lost within their searing breath...
I REALLY enjoyed this one my friend, telling a story in prose is a difficult deed, but you did a masterful job.
Very well done
Barkeep! A pint for my sea faring friend
Raker -
A very imaginative write. I did not like the wording at first but I read it over several times and found that it was very apt for the story.
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This is a beautiful piece of narrative poem ,written in quatrain form to relay to the readers messages of love regarding the undead slaves in monster waves.
A GREAT AND INTRIGUEING PIECE!KEEP IT UP! -
Fascinating
Extremely original. A Vampiric Dragon . Very clever. Fascinating images ....... -
WOOHOO a kool poem, i myself love dragons and all that jazz lol. This is a kool poem and the name makes me want to read it again which i did lol. keep writen. And a merry christmas to you.
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nutterinanapple>twice
a great piece... spoke to me of slavery and the hundreds of thousands of bodies that were tossed to the deep to build our economic superiorety...
deep n cold
my favorite bit....
We roam the seas upon our knees
Bowed before his cloud of smoke.
Our captor dragon we must please
While his smoke causes us to choke.
mint -
I liked the First and Last two stanzas with the Rolling and Bobbing. That really takes you to the middle of the sea.
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A very dscriptive write. I enjoy it when I can picture images as I'm reading.This is a very beautiful poem with powerful use of visual descriptive imageries to describe the monster waves to the readerplus the ordeal of the undead slaves under the mercy of the dragon.
Good luck with the contest...this is sure to be a winner!..
my lines..... Thanks for clicking! You get an extra 4 points if you critique this piece, plus the author would appreciate it!
Undead Slaves on Monster Waves
Rolling, rolling, dragon floating
Upon the rolling deep blue sea.
I should not this year have come boating,
My worst fear has come to be.
Bobbing, bobbing, we are sobbing
Watching the bobbing dragon's head.
Edited on Dec 24, 6:01 because ''. -
I think I'll go with Grossmuti on this one. and it as well kept my attention all the way through, I got a kick out of reading it. great job, Now give me the gold! Arrrhhhhh!!!! thanks for the great write, GETS
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well written
Now I like this.. not usually my scene but it works well.
Dragons curse? ummm never thought of them like this..
Nice one to use your imagination with -
Hillarious
love, Love, LOVE it!!! Sustains my interest from beginning to end. It is quite chilling in some ways but still hillarious
. The way you open up with the first two (and last two) stanzas is really an eye catcher and attention grabber. Even your title rhymes. They rhyme scheme as a whole is snappy and moves the reader along at a quick pace. One suggest: I think "hord" should be horde 
Other than that little nit picky detail, it's a good poem all in all. Thanks for the giggle and a Very Merry and Happy Happy to you and all of yours. Glad I dropped in on this one, will have to bookmark it immediately
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Lol funny, really good poem. I'm very glad that I got to read it. This really is a great poem, thanks for sharing
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excellent!
wow!!you really do know hown to ryhme!!!great job on the poetry!!!i love the poem and the whole flow!!!!the ryhming is perfect and the poem is just lovely!!!!great poem!!!great job!!!! -
I enjoyed this jaunt... I felt right there in the moment..
and all the snarling and puffing of the dragon.. great imagery
well done
~GILL~x -
Lots of vivid visuals, great images penned here - what brought dragons to the fore front today? You tell us quite a tale here - glad I'm not a prisoner of this dragon!
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Get yer dragon breath away from me!!!
I enjoyed this very much! What a great dragon write...I felt the ominous presence of the dragon and the hopelessness of her prisoners. I wonder if you intended to use the word 'vain' in the last line of the ninth stanza. Terrific write!
Lorena
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This is a very beautiful poem with powerful use of visual descriptive imageries to describe the monster waves to the readerplus the ordeal of the undead slaves under the mercy of the dragon.GREAT WRITE!
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the repetition of "rolling, rolling" and "bobbing, bobbing" really added an element of being there in the middle of the ocean for the reader. very powerful imagery and very good writing!
Jo -
lovely
Lovely poem, indeed. I love dragons, although I've not understood all that story about being undead. Is it some myth I've missed or just your imagination? Anyway, good work! -
Ok.
I didn't really like the style, i found it too detached in places and therefore i couldn't really get into it.
I liked the first stanza though. -
I am not to much into fantasy but I did enjoyed reading this poem. I love the story told in this poem had a very mystical and ancient feel too it. It flowed well and it was very well written. Nice job!
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i like this because it's like a legend turned into a song or something!wolf howl xxxxx
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great piece
ifelt like i was reading a short story I thought this poem
was very good -
I like this...yay..and the background. You have a way with words my dear
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despite the subject matter...this poem was charming to be.psuedo-mystical,and actually humorous...in my view.the title found me cynical at first,but upon reading i actually liked this poem.goood job you.
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Eill is, I do like fantasy and emjoy hearing how other place so much effort inot a story like you have here. I think I've read a couple different poems of you and always like them. nice work.
Image and Visions … Dare to dream, and have the courage to do that what others only dream of…
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