Hypnotized totally like spider prey
in gossamer webs of illusive life,
searching myself with confusing thoughts, grey,
as some mirrored vacuum with all strife.
I know, neither my origin nor, end,
still worrying for my name in society,
and in journey, cleverly I pretend
as owner of self with full anxiety.
Failing to accept me as a puppet
in the hands of powerful destiny,
just playing blind poker with own trumpet,
with shackled dance and mental mutiny.
Submission to God is the only way
for impact of unison without sway.
Author notes
Written October 22nd, 2005
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Thanks for your appreciation.
Wishing you happy holidays and prosperous New Year,
manoj -
Insightful
Nice write, I applaud your insight as there is nothing more empty than playing a role. We all do it because society dictates it, but it does not mean we doomed to always be this way. Good luck in the contest!! -
Sincere thanks.
Best wishes and happy holidays.
manoj -
This was fantastic! Best poem I read all day- I've only read 3 today- but still! I was very impressed. It is a poem with great rhyme, imaginative imagery, and strong message/thought. I could definately relate to the thoughts and descriptions in this.
Great job- Thanks for entering the contest! APPLAUSE! -
Thank you for you beautiful poem of prayer.
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nice job
nicely written kinda lost the flow of it toward the end don't mean to be critical but i did like it just playing blind poker with my own trumpet that kinda throw me off but other then that i think it was well written work -
Very glad to hear you express that Manoj. The most important thing a poem can ever accomplish is that someone hears it and is touched in some manner. This was really one of those people touching pieces
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Truthfully , I noticed but could not decide, which one would be better ... at the same time, desired you to read both poems. As such, written 2nd prewrite for this.
Happy, although not considered for the contest , that message reached you resulting in your appreciation.
SINCERE THANKS.
manoj
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Wonderful poem. I know that the contest description was lengthy and you probably didnt notice the 1 entry per person ruled buried up there in the rules. I would never, never, disqualify anyone for such a simple oversite, but just to be fair to the other contestants, and since you specified in your authors notes that this was the second entry, I will only judge your first entry poem for this contest. I will however, applaud your efforts and comment on this one .
This is wonderfully done with a strong message to the reader. I also very much like the color you chose for you type on this background. I loved the second verse, it really stood out to me.
It is easy to grasp the meaning of your words in the midst of it's melodic feel. I am very glad I had the chance to read it.
Edited on Nov 02, 8:47 because 'typos'.
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Thanks Sam.
manoj
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A very nicely written sonnet. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for entering...you did great!
Sam
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