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Thief of time

 

 I’ve lost my son; this pain is hard to bear

 I now stand alone without feeling or care.

 Life has become numb my body feels cold

 without us together & together growing old.

 I asked you death why did I pay this toll

 you’ve taken my son and stolen his soul.

 You rode in just like a evil hooded knight

 twisting his mind leaving him unable to fight.

 You must have said to him; 'Son come with me

 I’ll ease all of your pain and set you free.

 You took the "Last breath" of my beautiful son

 ~Damn you death, you showed him the gun!

 Did you say... Close your eyes & come with me?

 this world you live in has no future to see!

Reached out taking his life on that fateful day

 and you gave not one reason for him to stay.

 I have gone to the graves of many of friend

 I've asked, I've pleaded when will this all end?

 But you just seem to laugh without any care

 with a grin on your face saying; "life is not fair"

 I see you sometimes like a thief in the night

 not showing your face while you are in flight.

 You take so many lives of ones that can’t win

 you seem to enjoy it over & over again.

 I KNOW, I’VE DEFIED YOU sending you away

and you'll be back to collect my soul someday.

 

11/10/1986 to 04/27/2005

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • DrunkenRam
    February 24, 2008

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    I can't even imagine the level of grief, You are far stronger than I to be able to deal with such a loss on a day to day basis, My heart goes out to you.
    and this Poem, I am sure is just the tip of the Iceberg.


  • BloodyCrystalEmbers
    November 9, 2006
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    Amazed

    Wow, I have read your work before and was equally blown away then as well as I am now, I can tell how much you love your son, and how much you are hurting, and I can imagine you always will, but I am glad you have writing because clearly you are very talented, and I know what writing can do, it can set you free...Your son may be gone, but he will always live in your heart and memory and in your beautiful words...much love, thanks for entering another one of my contests, I loved this poem ,although it was very sad, it was well written, the flow was great and the rhyming perfect, awesome job!!!!Take care Thinking of you




    ~Terri Anna


  • livingItup
    July 27, 2006
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    Excellently sad

    hey,
    holy man!! This is beautifully sad. I am soo sorry for your loss. Your son is there with you all the time. He is watching over you making sure mom is ok. This is awesome. I love it. Not so many words to describe it. Your a talented write. Beautiful.
    ~love~
    *joey*


  • victoria Secret
    June 5, 2006
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    wow, wow, wow.....that was overly amazing. Very outstanding. I don't know if I should comment on all the piece I read from you because all I think I'll put is wow But this was worth reading, best one I read all day. Very nice job.

    victoria


  • midnight dreamer.
    May 26, 2006
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    wow...i'm really sorry....thank you so much for entering my contest!!!!
    love
    writer


  • u took my user name
    May 2, 2006
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    Wow. this is really powerful. it had me standing on the edge of my seat. Great poem, and so well written. I want to thank you for sharing this with us, for it is so personal, and very heart felt. Honestly, it made me cry.
    "You must have said son come with me,
    I’ll ease your pain & set you free."

    also, great way of anding it.
    i'm am deeply sorry for your loss. but i am glad you express your feelings in such great writes. Thank you.
    Best wishes,
    L4L


  • DancingRed
    April 30, 2006
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    This powerful poem is full of feeling. It is heart-renching and beautifully written. You have an amazing talent, especially to write such good rhyme in your poetry amongst the grief I'm sure you're experiencing.
    "You took the last breath of my beautiful son.
    Damn you death, you showed him the gun.
    Did you say close your eyes & come ride with me?
    This world that you live in has no future to see!"
    You've used seemingly ordianry words that many people use every day, and skillfully arranged them to create this amazing poem. It's strange how sometimes the worst things we experience in life bring out the best poetry.
    Wishing you the best,

    DancingRed.


  • Willowhaunt
    April 16, 2006
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    This is an amazing poem...heartfelt, emotional, deep, heartwrenching. I'm very sorry for the loss. It pains me to say this, but it isn't exactly the sort of thing I was looking for in the contest. I was asking for more pro-evil poetry. This is however an astounding work and my heart goes out to you.


  • blue -eyes
    April 12, 2006
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    I had a cousin take his life back in the 80,s his dad found him when he came home. his name was Delbert Mccoy. his dad is now got cancer.but not a day passes he don't think of that night.and his sons last words.your work might help him out some how.


  • Lionslove silver member
    February 15, 2006
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    awesome

    gets: this is amazing work, as usual. it's painful for me to read alot of your work, but...the writing is so good. no critique, cause i'm no critic. can't even win one trophy, so...just amazing. btw, i was going to do a comm and "aaa", but i can't find it...searched all over..weird...anyway. thanks again, for being such an awesome contributor to this site. atb, -encore-

  • Harry2cool
    February 15, 2006
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    This poem describes aptly what you have been through. Great peice, i guess all the readers would have felt the pain.


  • poet2angels gold member
    January 21, 2006
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    Gets, this is so very sad......You have poured your heart out in this write, and brought me to tears, so I shall say......amazing.....Paula ...(Lynda )

  • DisposablePaperDoll
    January 20, 2006
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    Thats heartbreaking! I wish you the best of luck with your grief and hold on to him.:hug:

  • verses on flesh
    January 19, 2006
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    I want to say first of all, I read this poem several times, and it is a very disheartening and wonderful piece. I am very sorry for the tragedy of your loss. So many senseless things seem to happen in this world that we cannot find answers to, and we being the creatures we are need answers. We need closure of our situations or they leave us with such heavy hearts and hurtful questions we cannot ever really heal from.

    I think you have written a very powerful and moving piece, and that you have done it using great form, and word usage to fully convey the way you feel. I believe the reader can really look at this piece and put themselves there. I know many people who could benefit from your story, through their frustrations and disappointments. They would find comfort, not in your sadness but in the camaraderie of those who suffer so that they do not have to be alone in such terrible and tragic trials.

    Though I don't feel this suited the criteria of the contest you entered it in, I would like to thank you for allowing me not only to read, but review this work. I have no doubt that entered into the proper place this piece would find a trophy and many mutual mourners. I wish you the best of luck in your life and your work. Your writing has been greatly appreciated.

    Jamie


  • DarkChildsKiss silver member
    January 16, 2006
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    SO SAD!

    OH MY GOD!!! I am so sorry that this happened to you! I can feel your words throughout your poem. But never have I lost someone close to me. So I would be lying if I said that I could truly relate to this. But I wish I could give you more than an applause but that's all I have so here. And I'm sorry for your loss. ~Jay~


  • cryingshadows
    January 14, 2006
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    wonderful poem. I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been terrible to go through. I'm sure your son would be proud of you, and to have this beautiful poem dedicated to him.

  • Warrior7
    January 13, 2006
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    Firstly i just want to say how deeply sorry i am for your loss, i couldn't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling therefore anything i write here will never ease your pain. When a child is taken i always think to myself that god needed an angel and that is why the child was chosen, i'm sure your son is a beautiful angel looking down on his family with a big smile watching over all of you. Once again i'm so very sorry for your loss


  • getsbetter
    November 27, 2005
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    Thank you so much for your kind words sunset, it really hit me alot when I wrote this poem. It had my hurt and my anger of my love and loss all at the same time. Again thank you, getsbetter


  • sunset delicate
    November 27, 2005
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    wow really really well odne. its amazing to be able to work rhyme into a heart felt peace like this.


  • getsbetter
    November 25, 2005
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    Again thank you, God Bless your family too! getsbetter

  • getsbetter
    November 25, 2005
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    I'm sorry if I had upset you or such, was not meant to be,thought this might be what you were looking for. but thank you for your kind words on my write. He was a awsome son, I'm gonna miss him very much.I hope you get to finish,PEACE! G.


  • Icry4YOU2mrow
    November 25, 2005
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    THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAD I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! keep it up.
    ceci

  • getsbetter
    November 19, 2005
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    thank you very much fo your kind words, just wrote from my heart and gave the facts, again, thank you & glad to be here.

  • luvmybabys
    November 18, 2005
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    Aww,this poem was very beautiful,I feel your anger,rage and your love.I checked out your author page so I want to say I am sorry for your loss,there's not many things in my heart that I could say to make you feel better,I love this poem I'm just heartbroken that it had to be your son leaving this world to inspire this poem,if you know what I mean...(((hugs)))very handsome young man,but you will see him one day,that's what they tell me about my father and my grandmother...(((hugs)))...luvmybabys...

  • getsbetter
    October 28, 2005
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    Thank you much for the compliment onthe poem. We all have our hurt in our life when someone dies, but we also have an anger. most people as I too, write about the hurt side and don't talk to much about the anger side unless it's a murder and that is a more overpowering side at that time.

  • getsbetter
    October 26, 2005
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    msbunny thank you for being intrested in my poetry. It is an honor to have someone read several of them. I'm glad you liked them. I seem to be writing more as time goes. I hope you will check on my future writes. thank you again msbunny. I will stop and take a look at yours. G.


  • MsBunny
    October 26, 2005
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    I lost my step father, the same way, i grew up in a household where my dad was very abusive, and my step dad was my savior, he saved all of our lives.. losing him was the hardest thing i ever had to deal with, as an adult, i have two children of my own, and the idea of them ever leaving me here.. kills me inside.. you are a very brave man, and a very inspirational writer, I love you how view things... you have no cold feel about you.. even in the words you say, you seem to have that knowledge, that you will be reunited with your son, as i know i will my dad, and for that.. you are a strong soul indeed, wonderful write!!!

  • getsbetter
    October 25, 2005
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    thank you Immortal Clause. when you lose a child, and the way I did. you feel very short changed. and yes, I did try to put a twist on it! I'm glad you liked.G.


  • Rock-Junkie
    October 25, 2005
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    you described death so well. i LOVE the background. it is so purrty ^.^hehe^.^ you gave death a whole new meaning. like it was a person and you wanted revenge on them. well good luck and keep up the work!! byeseez
    BC


  • lightwithinyourdark
    October 20, 2005
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    this is great! definitely a personification of death, i liked the description of death, you gave him a very appropriate personality. i'm so sorry about your son, that must be awful. great rhyme and flow, i liked it alot! anywho, awesome write, so keep writing, and good luck

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