A flying saucer filled with little green men
Was taking a trip through some new galaxies
To explore distant, lost and forgotten corners,
And perhaps solve a few universal mysteries.
They also wanted to share with willing planets
All the secrets that their people had discovered
About how to stop hunger and cure disease,
And how to live peacefully with one another.
They came upon a serene and beautiful world
Glowing in rich hues of blue, white and green.
They all agreed it was the most gorgeous place
That any one of them could remember seeing.
They wanted to zip down and take a closer look
But they scanned the sky for transmissions first.
They had no idea what kind of beings lived there
And they'd learned it's wise to expect the worst.
Though their weapons could destroy the small planet,
They always hoped to find peace, harmony and goodwill.
Their captain said, "Surely, with such a wonderful world,
The creatures there would have lost all desire to kill."
The first signal that they picked up was a movie.
It was a documentary about the Vietnam war.
They were disappointed and almost turned away
But the captain said, "Wait, I want to see more."
So they continued scanning the earth's airwaves
Until a new image appeared on their screen.
It was a porno movie they were all shocked to see
Because it was so animalistic, vulgar and obscene.
Their world and their hearts were so advanced,
Such abuse made some of them start crying.
They had looked into the eyes of the earth girl
And saw that her young spirit was dead or dying.
"Enough!" one said, "I can take no more of these sights!
How could such a glorious world become so depraved?
Obviously, nothing at all is sacred or precious to them.
Such ungrateful creatures don't deserve to be saved."
The captain said, "Yes, this is very discouraging
But let's not give up on this poor planet too fast.
There must be some good people among them.
Otherwise, how did they all flourish and last?
Drat the luck, the next signal they found was Jerry Springer
And all they could do was shake their heads with dismay.
A scuffle ensued when one said, "Okay, that does it!"
And reached for a red button labeled "Blow 'Em Away".
"Wait! Don't!" the Captain ordered once more, still hoping.
"I can't believe there's not one ounce of goodness down there.
We'll keep searching all day if we have to, gosh darn it!
In fact, forget TV, we'll try the Internet. It's only fair."
They surfed around and found nothing but porn sites
And people arguing violently about some war in Iraq.
There were even sites that seemed to celebrate death.
The Captain cried for the humanity we apparently lack.
Then he found a site that didn't seem at all offensive
Lit with soft colors and adorned at the top by a bird.
They read many poems and author pages for hours
And couldn't find one crass or discouraging word.
But eventually, even there, they found anger and hatred
And poetry so dark, it seemed the authors were demented.
Their hopes were so high but again, they were dashed.
"God, what is wrong with them?", the captain lamented.
He said, "If things are the same here as they are back home,
Poets are priests of the invisible but they can't make a living.
So you'd think they'd be helping instead of hurting each other.
You'd think it would be a community full of loving and giving."
"Young poets," he said, "just stretching their downy wings
Are being browbeaten by older, cynical, treacherous men.
Writers, of all people, should know the power of words.
Discouraged by their insults, they may never write again!"
"I just don't get it. Is everything on earth sad and polluted?
If so, this planet is just a powder keg with a very long fuse.
For God's sake, what hope is left if even poets can't get along?
Poet's arguing is like wino's fighting for the last drop of booze!"
So they all agreed that there was no hope at all for earth
And just as Sodom fell for the lack of ten righteous souls,
The captain gave the nod to press the dreaded red button
And in a moment, their rays blasted the earth full of holes.
That's the end of my tale, dear AllPoetry friends.
I don't mean to create a lot of worry, panic or fuss
But we better start being a little nicer to each other.
You just never know who might be watching us . . .
Author notes
Because so many who read the previous version of this poem commented that the stinkers on AP would have sealed the earth's fate, I decided to write the alternate version to my last poem, "How AllPoetry.com Saved The World". lol
Written October 19th, 2005
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Yeah, everybody says they like the other version better because of the happy ending. I was just responding to a few people who said the other one was not realistic enough because there are a few mean people here on AP who would have caused the aliens to bust out the death ray. haha
Thanks,
M -
I decided to go through and see if I can get caught up on commenting on your stuff. This gave me a pretty good idea as to the fact that I need to keep up with you....lol. I didn't really like this as well as I did the first. I would prefer happy endings, but then that's just because I am sick of sadness. Hopefully I can find some laughter in your poetry, of course I know I will, I always do. THis was good and it was amusing. Keep writing and I'll keep reading (eventually)
Sharon -
They spared me because I'm one of them. I was beamed up early. That's how I got all these details. The picture on my author page is only of my human shell. Underneath, I'm green and slimy. For a picture of me with my alien family, check out my story "Alien Classroom". If you like aliens, that should be right up your alley.
Please send me a postcard from Venus. I've always wanted to visit there. lol
Thanks,
Mark (or Schnork, my alien name.)
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Well, since the earth's destroyed, I'm currently sitting on Venus. I just bought a new penthouse there.
Obviously, that's the home planet of all females.
Yeah, those aliens spared me because I'm so nice, innocent and cerainly a very kind soul.
(And no, not modest either. )
Well, I prefer this version to the happy one. I don't know. I'm more of a "glass-is-half-empty" kinda person. If artists and poets start figting, then, evidently, this world's doomed.
Great job with this one as well. By the way, where did you escape to in order to save yourself from those green men? DId they spare you too?
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I know what you mean. It's very hard not to set the world straight, but I generally don't bother unless said "hack" starts to accuse me of producing worse crapola than he/she is. When they make it personal, that's when I start laying on the shoe leather. Otherwise, I'd be sparring with too many people to count constantly. The best writers don't boast. The worst constantly do. Strange how that works. And not just in writing. It seems the least gifted are the most conceited, and the most gifted are so humble, they have to be convinced they're good constantly. One of those universal mysteries. lol
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Thank heaven my application for a Martian Green Card was approved last week. Harharhar...pardon the terrible pun-like atrocity... HAR HARhar!!! Green Card!!! nyuknyuk... I'm killing myself... where's the kleenex? Three more words and I get another point. Drat, now what do I talk about? Oh yeah, nice poem. When I find a "poet" that does a free-verse four-letter blaspheme of the God I love, I do more than tell him he's a third-rate hack. Some kids really are just finding their poetic legs and falling into the same rat traps we all fell into, so you try to criticize their work gracefully. Others are just venting their spleen with misspellings, bad grammar, and are so full of bile that they earn no respect deserve every bit of a verbal tongue lashing. Conservatives are universally too quick to suck up to idiots.
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Yeah, I prefer the happy version, too...but that's my infernal...ummm...I mean...eternal...optimism showing through... I have seen some so~called 'critiques' that resembled a crime scene...I have seen incessant bickering in the chatter box...I have heard of feuding going on...I tell 'em all, yeah, Poets are extremely sensitive, but that doesn't mean we have to be cruel, either...There are those that say Poets are rebels; yes, we are...but we have a responsibility to harness the power of our words, as well...I never subscribed to that crapola: 'Sticks & stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.' Bologna!!! Words can devastate someone & bring them to their knees...& the scars last longer...Well done, Mark...You always have a point to make or a moral to the story...many listen to you; let's Hope they all apply what they've learned, eh??? Yeah...I'm still hoping...
♥ Wanda
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Sadly there is a lot of truth in what you've written here. You really hit the nail on the head in my opinion. Great job on this. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Thanks, Sara. A few people said they liked the happy version better. I probably do, too.
Interesting idea about an AP series. Maybe I'll do that. Then again, I annoyed enough people with my "big question" series. lol Imagine the hell I would unleash if I talked about AP members directly. Poets are a sensitive bunch. (Myself included.)
Talk to you soon,
Uncle M
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OMG! You know what... You need to make a collection of Allpoetry.com stories, series, ect, you'll have an even bigger fan club (if that is even possible, you have what? 1000... 2000 fans at least? ) I know I appaulded your three pieces before this, but did I comment on them...
... Anyways, I love this new version, perhaps a little more so than the other one... When are you going to write another story about AP?!?!?! 
Love you, your neice, Sara
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BlackKnight,
Coming from someone who has ripped me a new one on several (dozen) occasions, that means a lot. lol
Thanks,
Mark
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Thanks, Val. I don't think I've ever seen such great comedic timing put into a response to a poem. The "oh, who are we kidding" line cracked me up. You are too much. lol
Mark -
RUN....RUN.....RUN....`````BANG``````......OUCH MY A**.... darn lasers hurt! Nice one Mark, now maybe people will be nice!....aaaaaah maybe...hopefully....kinda....oh who are we kidding .......RUN........RUN..... ~val~
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I think I prefer the one with the happy ending.
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ohk...long version again! ...good way to put your thoughts through alien's point of view
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Ankita -
..boo..I liked the other one better.. ..Anyway this one is good too..I like your way of expression..your thoughts seem to just flow out!Great work!
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Ah yes, I find this to be a tad more realistic than the original version. How silly humanity's arguments can be, eh?
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5 Stars *****
ooo.. you seem to be a wonderful erm.. fantasy writer..i didnt read the last vresion of this write.. i just came on right now to gt refreshed as i was studying for exams.. and then saw this in the featured list.. and i had to click it cos the title itself made me curious to read this work...............
coming to the poem.. well.. you have given a meaningful messege while giving the poem a touch of humour.... ( though it seemed humourous just cos of the porm stuff thingy hilarious infact )
i agree with you, there are many of us poets who fight within ourself.... kinda, may be they take it all too personaly or whatever the reasonis... but i think more and more people should read your poem ....
Peace and Harmony
nice write............. good work... thanks for sharing my dear friend
*hugs and kisses*
*gives choco*
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend .............. just keep it up ................... your humble little friend ................. ..................... 
........................ .............. - vic ( who else??? )
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lol, great poem, but I think the good version is better, but it was still funny.
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This is, simply, awesome.
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DEEElighful indeed~lol!!!!!
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what a funny tale, with an excellent moral! great write!
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LOL, this is wonderfully done!
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lol...I like this!!! I could see how we would manage to get the world blown to bits. I'm off to read the alternate version. Much love to you and yours,
Nicole
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what's going on at AP here tonight??? I just get done decorating a poem and AP is being invaded by Mars and Mr. Vertigo is out there pushing AP tee-shirts...there's gotta be a poem in all this!!!
I think I like this alternate version ending better...but you know, when the whole thing comes out on DVD you can include all the various versions. I think they did that with the last Hannibel Lechter movie.
Jo -
*laughs* Haha. Very nice job!
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Oh Just delightful! Like a Hollywood screening with two different endings.
Wonderful!
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