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Falling away

Here I stand alone in a crowd of many
           Feeling of less worth then a simple penny
  When I look around I wonder where or if I will ever fit in
 I see so many different faces and wonder where they have been
            Confussion seems to rule this age
  Each moment, each second, adds another line to lifes page

   I believe in absolute Truth but somedays I forget
     I am swayed this way and that and am never set
They tell me to go ahead and do what would please the flesh
"Drink it, smoke it, breath it, do it, it'll give you a rush"

          There are days when life hurts so bad
      When their actionss make me so scared and sad
Somedays all I think about is what I want to do and what I want to see
     I don't think about who the Lord wants me to be
        They ask me why I believe what I believe
they tell me to be open to all things and that I've been decived
  Somedays I believe what they say, that hells a good way
   
            They call good things bad, and bad things good
              I will only be one of them if I go to the hood.
                     I am pressured on either side,
              to do things that He would never abide                  
                  I am older then yesterday,
      but it does not mean I am able to choose the wise way

 Jesus sometime I wonder if there will ever be complete peace
            or if my heart will ever feel release
God do not let me be swayed, I don't want the fire to fade

Author notes

Its not quite finished yet..but comments and any impute is helpful
Written October 19th, 2005

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Comments


  • Sharcu silver member
    October 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. Now, the thing that confused me was your rhyming. I loved the words you used to rhyme, but your rhyming didn't seem to have any direct pattern or rhyme scheme. So it kind of rhymed where it seemed fit, but it didn't stick that way through the entire poem, if ya get what I mean. That's the only thing I just wanted to point out. It's a great poem with awesome flow. I love how you positioned the lines and such. I would never be that creative to do that, plus it made it flow even better. Each word seemed to fit perfectly into the poem. Awesome job, awesome job.

    "Each moment, each second, adds another line to lifes page"

    This was perfect having it at the end of the first stanza. It made me want to continue reading and I love that saying.

    Very awesome job, keep up the great work!

    --Tim