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I'm not your maid... clean up your own messes

I watched you give up
I watched as you said
"There's no turning back"
all ambition dead

I watched as you fell
away from your friends
"I'll never need them"
they'll laugh in the end

I watched as your eyes
grew tired and cold
"I don't know what happened"
your dumb act got old

I watched as you turned
your back on advice
"I didn't expect that"
But did you think I was right?

I watched as you turned down
his warm, outstretched hand
"I'm in too deep now."
HE OFFERED YOU LAND

I watched as you framed
your perfect letdown
"It's falling apart"
but to YOUR hand its bound

I watched as you kept
the same, tired lies
"I just couldn't change"
YOU JUST DIDN'T TRY

I watched as you threw
it back over my way
"you gave up on me"
is that all you can say?

I watched as you cried
as I shook my head
"you could have done more"
not with your ambition dead

so it's your turn to watch
as I turn from my loss
"goodbye, dropout"
YOU LOST YOUR OWN CAUSE

Author notes

As for Coffee Lover: I commented on two lives; both lies in this contest, and of your poems i commented on Memories of You. Good luck judging, thanks for your time =)

As for those who read this: I wrote this in anger, and some of it may not make sense to you, I'm not sure? but let me know what you think, I thought it was appropriate for the contest

As for you: I'm sorry, so sorry, but its all there was left to do. you took all my other options. And left me with this.
-catie
Written October 19th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • NeverRegret
    October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is great good job i kinda feel like the giver upper... well i love this poem you did a really great job
    good luck in the contest and i applaud your poem


  • outofbreath
    October 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much for your comment! it made me feel better about this poem, i was a little iffy on it. im glad you liked it, thanks so much for reading it.
    -Catie

  • Lost-within-space
    October 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing. The title helps to make what you mean very clear. Your flow is perfect. (that's something I need to work on) What you are saying seemed clear to me, espicially considering the contridictory feelings you must have. I really...enjoyed isn't the right word at all. It was incredibly strong.


  • Neon Lights
    October 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It doesn't quite make sense to me but thats okay. It doesnt have to. I really liked this. The caps in certain places kinda drew my attention in. I loved the flow in this....very smooth. Awesome job. Thanks for entering and good luck!
    ~Fi~