Feeling weak, like I'm not in control
This new feeling has taken my soul
This thing called love that I thought was fake
Has came to life; it must be a mistake
How did this happen to me,
I locked up my heart and he found the key.
I said I would never let anyone in
I have problems trusting people, especially men
But somehow he got through
And I don't know what to do
I'm afraid of the pain that I'm going to feel
When he decides this love's not real...
Author notes
Something I'm going through...I have a boyfriend now...and I just don't know how long it's going to last...hopefully for a while, but you can never be sure.
Written October 13th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Awww this is an uber-lovely poem!!!
Really really great to read, and I can completely relate as well, that was a trouble that I had and am kinda still having...
...I'd say you just have to accept that what he says is the truth, and enjoy the great feeling that is love, while it lasts.
Gotta go and do coursework now, byebye
Jess x x x -
hey i really liked this it is really good and i can totally relte i am going through that right now with my boyfriend i love this lotz you are a great writer keep posting keep it up!!!!!!!!!!! thanx for sharing this with all of us her at allpoetry really enjoyed the read
love ya
~~*)Becca(*~~
ziez
you are a great writer and this is a great write !!!!!!!!!!
keep up the great and awesumly awesum work!!!!!!!!! -
great write, thats all I have to say
~Britney -
Amazing write, I love the background! ttyl
~Britney -
awesome write...i really like it alot....i think alot of people think about this and want to know if the love they so call have is "real love" cause they are afraid of like being hurt or something...and they hope that is it real..well anyways.. great job on this......i hope that u and him stay together and that u guys are happy and stuff.. i wish you guys the best
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awwww i like this one so much but u cracker u didnt tell me that u wrote a new one...this is good and i hope that you and him stay together for a while also...well this good in that it shows what u feel and the things u are going through...good write keep it up..talk to ya l8er
luv ya chica
~*~Kristen~*~ -
I think this is a well written piece so full of sadness. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to your wariness of a new relationship especially if previous ones have ended badly. I hope you have found the love you are looking for. I think you express yourself wonderfully. Well done and keep up the good work
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Hey, this is fantastic, and I am SO happy for you (and just a little jealous too, lol). I am the same pesimistic view of relationships too, but hope for the best!! Best of luck with it all.
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Nice piece for a return from writers block. The rhyme however did seem a tad forced - Though for the most part it wasn't. You use some amazing words to get across the desired effect - Scared of losing someone you love.
Here are a few suggestions I have that you can either listen to or disregard; So it's up to you.
1 "Has came to life; it must be a mistake" - It would read more smoothly if it read "Has cOme to life ....".
2 "When he decides this love's not real..." - Like the person above the word "not" doesn't seem to fit. Another way around fixing this would be to make the line read "When he decides this love IS not real..." - Thus seperating "love's"
Anyhow I loved the general message in this and the fact that you meant every word you said.
Regards;
Elegantly Wasted. -
I think you got over your writer's block just fine this is terrific and I love the flow, rhyme, and the truth behind it. If he is the right one time will tell and you will find out but doubt is not a good thing I mean just because one guy thought your love wasn't good enough don't mean they all will you will find your soulmate if not this one maybe the next but don't give up...
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This was an okay piece. The rhyming sounded a little bit shaky/forced in places but it might just be the way that I read it. Also, the last line, you might want to use a different word... instead of not. maybe, isn't would work.
Yay, now that thats over. I really liked this poem, the symbolism was excellent and the 6th line was definitely my favorite. Nice job.
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Tomboy
i so know what you mean and when things like this happen to me i am so afraid, i know this sounds so stupid, never mind -
Good werite. It isn't even a "you don't love me anymore, so I'm sad" thing, it's like a preemptive version. I liked the almost-but -not-quite rhymes, like control/soul, and in/men.
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i so love this. i want to cry for some reason, but i love it and you so need to show this off so good its here now lol and im commenting on it. so good write i love it.
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