4
"Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today.
To honor holy matrimony.
If anyone believes these two
should not be wed. Speak now,
or forever hold your peace."
A gunshot.
Bullet striking the grooms head,
slowly the hole appears.
Blood trickles down
as the bullet goes deeper.
My heart stops beating.
As I watch this procession.
A million questions run through my head.
Why? Who?
Tear,
the bullet has gone through.
Shatter of the skull.
Explosion of the brain.
Waterfall,
down my soon to be husband's shoulder.
A gasp in the crowd
as the head splits in half.
I remember the bullet
skimming my face.
Leaving no trace of death.
The horror struck look,
is still intact.
Yet it is half and half.
My hands are still holding,
and heaving him up.
Until his body shudders and dies.
"Dearly beloved,
we are gathered today.
To honor a man,
who was soon to be wed."
Author notes
Written October 17th, 2005
A contest entry
- Killed by Chainer Dementia.
300 points, ended October 20, 2005, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow Kaz, that was... really really good. Like far better than I was expecting with this idea.The ending was very, very good, especially.
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Wow this was so good I hadn't realized I'd already commented!
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Whoa, creepy. I would hate to be the bride watching her fiancee die.. especially right before they were about to be married.
You think the murdered could've just said he objected instead of killing the groom, huh? haha I don't know.
You used a lot of detail, with the goryness and all that. and I really liked the stanza
"I remember the bullet
skimming my face.
Leaving no trace of death."
It's like she wishes it has killed her too, now that the one she loves is dead. you know?
And the ending was excellent, they changed the ceremony around, very cool.
Awesome write
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Who was the murderer? hmm.....not sure, probably just a guy who really loves her. I just wrote it in the eyes of the bride..she doesn't really know. Use your imagination on that bit. Could be the brother, father, mother, sister, grandfather's brother's uncle (which would be her grandfather's uncle) her childhood lover...ahhh I feel like writing something about all of those people now.
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OOooh.. exciting. So.. who was the killer? I'm dying to know (no pun intended). I loved the descriptions here, so incredibly vivid (felt almost like watching a movie, going in slow motion).
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Holy shit Kaz that gave me chills. I sat there and shivered through the whole thing, nicely done.
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I can understand your point...wow when you want to read poems, you read them!!! Lol. I actually edited it afterwards....so yeah *Shrugs*. Thanks for all your comments!
And you should have known I was a decent poet with the first poem you read of me, jeez! -
I didn't like this one very much.. It was a great idea, and certainly original, it just didn't flow.
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Lol, what gangsta priest, changing the ceramony like that, jk
Now this was vivid. Very vivid. I did not know how many ways there was to describe a head shot. You did it cleanly, or messly...what ever is blooder yet precise. I can see this corpse of a groom's head in detail that can make you lose your lunch. Nice morbility hun
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Very nice I can see it all playing out in my head. I like the way you have started this poem and turned it on it's head. well done.
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I just now edited it...lol. I guess I did when you were reading, thank you so much for saying it's creative. Just wrote it a few moments ago. Thank you. I really appreciate it.
I don't know how to say thank yous, I'll be one of those really bad Thank You letter people when I get older. -
Damn, I was just reading through a bunch of shitty poems, which were making me depressed to think that this site has gone to hell, when i read this one. Impressively worded, a very creative write. Oh ya, you mispelled 'shudders'
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