She stood and watched, I knew her well, that creature spawned in darkest hell.
She reached from far beyond the grave, and knew the passion that I craved.
She held my life as if by spell, then smiled , she knew my torment well.
I knew I'd find no rest tonight.
It started very long ago, when bloodied footsteps marked the snow,
The first time that I saw her face, young of years and full of grace.
I saw her eyes, then came the blow, for in the night they seemed to glow,
And then I felt the shivers climb, as if in warning up my spine,
That's when my courage took to flight.
The winter wind now whipped her hair, and I could only stand and stare,
Those sensual lips made me despair, they whispered kiss me if you dare,
Now standing in that icy breeze and paralyzed from feet to knees,
I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight
That kiss that robbed my very breath and took me to the brink of death,
And hands so soft that touched my skin, my soul I sold to know that sin.
Those lips then moved upon my throat, on wings divine I seemed to float,
Then voices whispered in my head, beware you join the living dead,
That's when my soul began to fight.
In my pocket a cross I kept to which my frozen fingers crept,
A gift of gentle mother's love, I prayed to every saint above,
And now it blazed upon the air, her eyes then shone with hatred's glare,
She backed away, I seemed to burn; she hissed "my love I will return".
The sky was kissed by dawn's first light.
Of late I feel so very strange, as if something my thoughts derange,
In mirror,on throat, the marks I see, I fight the lust I feel in me.
Now I pace my darkened room, as shadows call me from the gloom,
Tonight I'll throw the casement wide, unholy love will step inside
And wake my passion on this night.
Author notes
vampire
A contest entry
- Move Like Sihouettes by JadedxPassion.
300 points, ended October 27, 2006, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fantasy Realm [surprise me] by ForgottenMemories.
580 points, ended March 4, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RHYME TIME by piccola.
450 points, ended March 20, 2007, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampire by Trust Calvaire.
415 points, ended June 30, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -4 Hours To Enter Your Great Writes in These Categories! Prewrites Welcome! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 15, 2007, 36 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampire nights by Myjoy.
950 points, ended November 1, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Into the Darkness came He... by crystallynnbradford.
340 points, ended December 6, 2007, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FIESTA [part 2] by Never Fall in Love.
1259 points, ended March 14, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming Poetry Contest by Heavens Child.
800 points, ended April 29, 2008, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires by love my jose luis.
300 points, ended April 29, 2008, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Infections [quicky]- vampires werewolves zombies by KristyBrainsikk.
525 points, ended August 12, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter here by Guerrero.
700 points, ended February 10, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vamp Stories by CaffineAddict90.
400 points, ended October 26, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires! by poisonivystar4.
700 points, ended December 3, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
Wow, I can see why this one won so many trophies!
Good luck in the contest!
-
This is an excellent write. I was completely captivated through out the whole thing. You've got talent. Thnx for entering the contest.
-
That is a really good writing. I really enjoyed reading that. It was so fascinating the poem. I really loved it. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
-
beautiful. entrancing. i loved it.
-
omg
omg that is such a good write -
Wow, amazing.
Congrats on all trophies
won, they are truly well
deserved.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
-
I love your structure, very good job. Was very captivating and had really good flow.
-
Discriptive, intresting, captivating. Good luck in the contest.
-
very descriptive.nicely penned.. good luck in the contest..
-
Lovely rhyming
and a shelf full of trophies for this one alone. Very well done. the imagery is quite nice. 




-
nice imagery and rhyme. good luck in the contest
-
this was so descriptive and so extraordinary ... beautiful descriptions...thank you for this write
-
Hmmmm!
16 syllable lines with interior rhymes. The last line of each stanza rhyming with all other last lines. The form is unique and used well. The poem is well metered and vivid. I have never seen a poem with that much hardware and that is why I can't give it a trophy. It is the best piece in the contest and was a true delight to read. Thanks for the awesome share.

-
Congrats on all the shinys!
Very neat read, you've told and awesome tale here
All the best in the contest


-
perfectionn
As always
Perfect congrats on the trophies
Hope all is well with you I am not
Hugs
Susan~~~




-
Congrats on the many trophies your poem has garnered.


-
very good write. Loved the flow.
Good job and good luck!
~Allie -
Very impressive! I can see that I'm not the only one either
The first vampire poem that I can honestly say I enjoyed. Well done poetess.
-
You've just made my contest harder to judge hehehe LOVE LOVE it powerful beyond words
good luck in the contest -
Love the picture!!! Great movie!!!! Great poem!!! Congratulation on all the contest wins!!!! This piece truly deserved each trophy!!!!
-
Outstanding!!! This is truly a breathtaking piece. It's dark, intense and sensual. This flows and rhymes with perfection. Best wishes and thank you for your entry.
-
Gheesh ...
I've never seen so many Gold trophies on one poem. (It is a hell of a poem, for sure.)
Congratulations.

-
I'm not generally a fan of rhyme but this one is quite good. Wow, I see you've won many trophies with this poem! Congrats!

I liked the part where he showed her the cross and she promised to return. Kinda reminds me of Bram Stroker's Dracula where Mina's fiance is tempted by female vampires at Dracula's castle.
Thanks for entering my contest!
Blessed Be,

~Evolet -
Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie
-
Dark & Alluring!!!
I love this...
Great descriptive narrative, rhythm & flow...
The story is captivating & well thoughtout...
And the picture... I loved that movie, the soundtrack was awesome...
A fantastic & well penned write you have here...
Well done!!!

-
This was truly an outstanding piece of work!! The imagery was stunning and the rhyming was flawless, most definately deserving of all the trophies. I'm so glad you chose to enter it here also, thanks.

-
Absolutely sensational, if I had looked through these first I would never of bothered to enter. So well written and wonderful choice of words to embrace the story and mood. A winner again.


-
Beautiful
Oh my what a stunning creation you have penned. This is so amazing. Congratulations on all the trophies, they are so well deserved.

-
Awesome Write Great flow and rhyme Wow congrats on all the trophies too. Thanks for entering this into my contest. Good luck with it
-
Wow!
My god, I'm blown away. Its been a very very long time since I fond something that flowed as perfectly as that. This is way too good - brilliant is all that can be said
Never ♥

-
wow
Excellent story, rhyme and flow. It is no wonder it has won many trophies. It is well deserving of many accolades. This also speaks to anyone captured by the sin of lust and could be a metaphor for the freedom the savior brings. That is what vampires represent in literature: lust and why salvation from them is found in the "cross"
Again well done. This again is a fine example of why I put you on my favorites and why I enjoy reading your poetry. You are truly talented.

-
i really like the discriptions in this one. it tells a lot. good job!
-
Crap... I'm going to lose this contest!
Really, an amazing write!
Well done!

-
Wow!!!!!!
I'm speechless!

-
ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes! this is just the thing that I was looking for...yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Impressive, and love the Queen of the Damned picture. Good luck in my contest....


-
excellence is rare
win or lose...lmao...look up T....genius times 5
and hopefully 6
best wishes sweet lady
peace and hugs
Muddy

-
This is genius.
This is why I like rhyme so much now.. because of such complex rhyme schemes.
Win or lose, this is very, very impressive.


-
Stunning poetry with fantastic imagery and flawless flow and rhyme. 'That kiss that robbed my very breath and took me to the brink of death', brilliantly worded. I love the sensuality of this piece. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
-
I am NOT one for Vamp writes BUT this is exquisite and flows so smoothe...it captivated and held me all the way to the end...awesome poem...and love the pic....Congrats on the Gold...!


-
Very tasteful indeed. I enjoyed the rhyme throughout this piece and the beautiful imagery used. Describing this temptress in such a beautiful way, how could someone so beautiful be so evil, kind of thing. I enjoyed this one very much, which is good, as fantasy isn't normally my thing [lucky dark is then, huh?].
-
Brilliant poetry! The rhyming flows very well. The whole poem makes the story come alive!
-
Well damn!
I'll have to say that this is probably my favorite vampire poem EVER.
I love your style. This piece flowed effortlessly. I read it aloud and felt seduced by the vampiric charms that flowed from each word.
Lovely.
I wish you well.

-
amazing
this is absolutely amazing my friend, congratulations on your silver trophy, the gold winner must have really been something, well done indeed,
alex
-
Wow. How did you do it!?! How long did it take you? I'm very impressed.. Great job and good luck in the contest.
-
I see why you've won trophies with this. It's exceptional. They're are some lines that are outstanding to me, but each time I find one..another one crops up. I'd be cutting and pasting the whole poem LOL. Thank you for this entry.
-
"The winter wind now whipped her hair, and I could only stand and stare,
Those sensual lips made me despair, they whispered kiss me if you dare,
Now standing in that icy breeze and paralyzed from feet to knees,
I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight" is my favorite part -
-
Hi emorocker, sorry but I really do not understand why you just quoted a part of the poem but left no other comment, you left me rather perplexed to say the least.Di
-
-
wow! this poem is amazing!!! I really liked it... and it's kinda spooky... which. It's well written too and i enjoyed reading it. ^-^ Good job and good luck in the contest. ^-^
-
wow this poem is spectacular, I loved it. the imagery drew me in and I could plainly see everything that you wrote. nice choice of wording aswell, very well done. good luck in my contest. xxShadowEaterxx
-
This reminds me of a cajun gal I used to date in the 70s north of New Orleans, named Ginger. A firebrand of a woman if there ever was. Eyes and hair dark as asphalt oozing from the ground on a moonless night and a smile which always besmerched lustfull pleasure. However, being as I never took note of any of this and uh...lie like the dog I am....LOL!.......errr..well....congrats on the bronze there gal!

JD

-
I loved that movie. LOL but
Peace
I like those moments
harsh which dramatically shows
not only macabre intent
but blood which flows.
Peace
Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari
-
WOAH....
this is eery...spooky...but DELICIOUS....
incredibly penned...
Sahabah

-
Very nice piece I really enjoye the flow and internal rhymes, this is full of lovely imagery and such a smooth write.

-
I love the internal rhyme in this piece - it really helped the flow of the poem overall. It reads very nicely and I found myself being dragged into the poem with your words and great imagery.
-
You told the plot well and your continuation of flawless rhyme was great.As for the story line,it was a good one too.~~Suseann You never disappoint me.
-
this is a good piece of poetry which you have written here, it holds a nice rhythm to the poem and the flow is very nice. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. i wish that you have good luck in the contest you have entered.
-
Hello, I loved your poem. It's by far the best one I have seen so far on this site. I will deffinately be reading more of your work. I wish you luck in future writings. Bye!
-
Hi, thanks a million, hugs, Di
-
No Wonder All The Applause!
My Dear! Amazing!
She reached from far beyond the grave, and knew the passion that I craved.
This. Is The Most Beautiful Poem I Think I've Ever Read. I'm Definately Checking Out Your Others. It Rhymed Perfectly,Nothing Seemed Forced, It Was Dark,Mysterious,And Beautiful. I Wish You Much Luck,Not That You'll Need It With A Gift Like This.-greysen.
-
Hithanks a million, hugs Di
-
beautiful work, wonderful iamgery, thank you very much
~kyo-kun~ -
This is trilling. really well written and capturing. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!!!
-
Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
-
What a great poem! I really loved it. The rhyming was amazing and the description of things was just amazing. Good luck and very well done
-
Fantastic to say the least. The picture matched perfectly and i have to wonder if you wrote the poem for the picture? Your structure was perfect and the rhyme was right-on. I loved it. I really did.Thanks for entering and best of luck.
Madison -
thanx for entering! good luck
-
WOW... This is awesome!!! It is a very well written poem Di!!! I really liked it!!! Thanks for entering and good luck!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
-
I read this before but didn't have time to critique it, good piece, very eloquent, good use of vocabulary, great tone and imagery, welcome to my contest
Ruth
-
OMG WOW!!! This is absolutely incredible! This is such a winner! I wish you all the luck. Your a great writer. This flowed so nicely and smoothly. I've never read anything like it. GOOD job and keep em coming!
-
excellent
Mysterious and chilling. I felt every word! An excellent piece. -
Now that's what you call poetry, how can one compete with this??? Excellent, I shall hopefully get in the frame!!! heeeee!!! Lovely work!!!
-
Fantastic
Score:
Subject:3.9
Rhyming:2.8
Flow:2.3
Total:9.0
This was brilliant and interesting to read.Thanks for your entry and best of luck in the contest!Entered in my previous contest sso scored a little less!
Edited on May 24, 6:13 because ''. -
This is an amazing poem I love the way it flowed together and I could visualize everything in my own mind. Keep up the great work. Thanks for entering my contest!
<3 Blood Lust <3 -
Hi thanks a million, but it does rhyme,lol, hugs Di
-
"I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight"
Wow, these two lines are great. Great poem overall, glad that it doesn't rhyme
X tragedy X -
Hi papalegba thanks a million, hugs Di
-
ah i see it as if i were there loved this moving peace keep the writeing up
love the papa
Edited on Apr 03, 2:47 p.m. because ''. -
Hi.bbb,thanks a million, hugs Di
-
Awesome
Amazingly written...sensual, mysterious..."these are a few of my favorite things"
I greatly enjoyed reading this work and according to the amount you have posted you can keep me in shock and awe for days to come. I look forward to reading more...Excellent job my friend.
-
brillent
great poem loved it love the pic to -
Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di
-
let me start off by saying that i love you for having Aaliyah on the page. she is so beautiful. i love the rhythem and flow of the poem. it was so mysterious and brillant. it is so sensual and seductive and very creative. i commend you for this poem. you did a fantstic job. you can add my applause to the many that are up there. you are a very talented poet. keep up the good work
-
Wow fantastic write
-
Hi, thanks a million, glad you liked it, hugs Di
-
I am speachless, this is truely a dark love poem as I've ever read one. Beautiful choice of words. I could picture so much, becuase of how descriptive you were. I absolutely loved it! Good Luck in the Concert.
-
Hi sweet thing thanks a million, hugs Di
-
In mirror,on throat, the marks I see, I fight the lust I feel in me. space....
HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEK! Wonderful work, wonderful! MUST HEAR MORE!!!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh, there are no words to describe this! You've done the impossible! THE IMPOSSIBLE! Sweet Jesus, you've made me speechless. -
You just amaze me mum with your extroadinary writes..I like this I like ir a lot you had mt attention from beginning to end...Good luck in the contest..I just have these chilling goosebumps all over my arms...WOW! It is so cool to have you for a mom...
Brenda
-
Hi Jinxgirl thanks a million, your name made me curious is there a story behind it? hugs Di
-
wow. this is just awesome, the words, the description, it's like a story, a play, i could see it all in my head. from all your applauds it's obvious everyone else loves it too. thanks for your great entry!
-
Hi my friend, thanks a million, my poems either come quickly aprox 20-30 mins on this length or I scrap them, most in 15-20 mins,with me it's that way,I'm a rhyme freak so they tell me,lol,but I do edit several times after posting,but to be truthful the ideas will run around in my head for a day or so,then I grab a pen and down it goes, hugs Di
-
Masterful rhyme. So often I see forced rhymes that make my teeth ache. But yours was a breath of fresh air. Though I can't help but wonder if it had taken you ages to do this?
Piper -
fantastic!
For something that is not your thing, you truly wrote an excellent, sensual, seductive, amazing piece of work. WOW. You definitely got the "master" part right in your name
-
i suppose you like anne rice also from the picture. awsome right! you really do deserve every one of those applauds up there..all 157 of them (158 including me if i counted right). jeez! lol. i agree with graveyard princess's comment about the flow of the poem sounding something like edgar allan poe's the raven. it really just pulls you in and forces you to keep reading. how many contest have you won with this? im curious lol. since i find you such a distiguished poet...(if i spelled that right lol), would you mind reading the poem i submitted for this contest? it would mean the world to me...even if you dont like it. good luck...im sure you will place something if not the gold. always keep writing. ive added you to my favorites but dont be too mad if i dont keep up with everything you write. im not on this site too often any more. just a heads up. *kat~~~
-
Hi, I'm happy you like this poem, thanks a million, hugs Di
-
Well, as from your applauds I guess I don't need to tell you that this piece was very well done. I loved how all the rhyming flowed together something akin to The Raven by the late great Edgar Allen Poe. I see now why you requested prewrites to be allowed. Good luck!!! This truly is a great write.
-
Hi,thanks a million, it was an experiment to write something about a subject that does not interest me,lol, vampires are not really my thing, you analised it very well, a big hug Di









































































