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She Will Come

Missing image
Moonlight on dark and misty ground where shadows moved without a sound,
She stood and watched, I knew her well, that creature spawned in darkest hell.
She reached from far beyond the grave, and knew the passion that I craved.
She held my life as if by spell, then smiled , she knew my torment well.
I knew I'd find no rest tonight.

It started very long ago, when bloodied footsteps marked the snow,
The first time that I saw her face, young of years and full of grace.
I saw her eyes, then came the blow, for in the night they seemed to glow,
And then I felt the shivers climb, as if in warning  up my spine,
That's when my courage took to flight.

The winter wind now whipped her hair, and I could only stand and stare,
Those sensual lips made me despair, they whispered kiss me if you dare,
Now standing in that icy breeze and paralyzed from feet to knees,
I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight

That kiss that robbed my very breath and took me to the brink of death,
And hands so soft that touched my skin, my soul I sold to know that sin.
Those lips then moved upon my throat, on wings divine I seemed to float,
Then voices whispered in my head, beware you join the living dead,
That's when my soul began to fight.

In my pocket a cross I kept to which my frozen fingers crept,
A gift of gentle mother's love, I prayed to every saint above,
And now it blazed upon the air, her eyes then shone with hatred's glare,
She backed away, I seemed to burn; she hissed "my love I will return".
The sky was kissed by dawn's first light.

Of late I feel so very strange, as if something my thoughts derange,
In mirror,on throat, the marks I see, I fight the lust I feel in me.
Now I pace my darkened room, as shadows call me from the gloom,
Tonight I'll throw the casement wide, unholy love will step inside
And wake my passion on this night.



Author notes

vampire

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 99 of 409     1 2 3 4  next >  (show all)

  • poisonivystar4
    November 15
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    Wow, I can see why this one won so many trophies! Good luck in the contest!


  • CaffineAddict90
    October 26

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    This is an excellent write. I was completely captivated through out the whole thing. You've got talent. Thnx for entering the contest.


  • MJ Forgives
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    That is a really good writing. I really enjoyed reading that. It was so fascinating the poem. I really loved it. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
    -Jess


  • BlackRimmedEyes
    September 13
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. entrancing. i loved it.


  • dhampir-child
    August 12
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    omg

    omg that is such a good write


  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 30

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    Wow, amazing.

    Congrats on all trophies
    won, they are truly well
    deserved.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck

  • I love your structure, very good job. Was very captivating and had really good flow.


  • Reanna Eryn
    March 15
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    Discriptive, intresting, captivating. Good luck in the contest.


  • Guerrero
    February 5
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    very descriptive.nicely penned.. good luck in the contest..


  • Tirrell
    January 25

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    Lovely rhyming and a shelf full of trophies for this one alone. Very well done. the imagery is quite nice.


  • upperworld06
    January 9
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    nice imagery and rhyme. good luck in the contest


  • ratkos
    January 6
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    this was so descriptive and so extraordinary ... beautiful descriptions...thank you for this write


  • Dark Otter
    December 12, 2008
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    Hmmmm!

    16 syllable lines with interior rhymes. The last line of each stanza rhyming with all other last lines. The form is unique and used well. The poem is well metered and vivid. I have never seen a poem with that much hardware and that is why I can't give it a trophy. It is the best piece in the contest and was a true delight to read. Thanks for the awesome share.


  • LadyDementia gold member
    September 23, 2008
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    Congrats on all the shinys!

    Very neat read, you've told and awesome tale here All the best in the contest


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    perfectionn

    As always
    Perfect congrats on the trophies
    Hope all is well with you I am not
    Hugs
    Susan~~~

  • ea silver member
    August 26, 2008
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    Congrats on the many trophies your poem has garnered.


  • Zane Rose
    August 16, 2008
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    very good write. Loved the flow.
    Good job and good luck!
    ~Allie


  • nichtmich silver member
    August 14, 2008

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    Very impressive! I can see that I'm not the only one either The first vampire poem that I can honestly say I enjoyed. Well done poetess.


  • Devilish Temptation
    August 2, 2008

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    You've just made my contest harder to judge hehehe LOVE LOVE it powerful beyond words
    good luck in the contest


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    April 29, 2008

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    Love the picture!!!  Great movie!!!! Great poem!!! Congratulation on all the contest wins!!!! This piece truly deserved each trophy!!!!


  • Heavens Child
    April 28, 2008
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    Outstanding!!! This is truly a breathtaking piece. It's dark, intense and sensual. This flows and rhymes with perfection. Best wishes and thank you for your entry.

  • ecrivain01
    April 27, 2008

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    Gheesh ...

    I've never seen so many Gold trophies on one poem. (It is a hell of a poem, for sure.)

    Congratulations.


  • Rinoasis
    April 27, 2008

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    I'm not generally a fan of rhyme but this one is quite good. Wow, I see you've won many trophies with this poem! Congrats!
    I liked the part where he showed her the cross and she promised to return. Kinda reminds me of Bram Stroker's Dracula where Mina's fiance is tempted by female vampires at Dracula's castle.

    Thanks for entering my contest!

    Blessed Be,

    ~Evolet

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    April 19, 2008
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    Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    April 10, 2008

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    Dark & Alluring!!!

    I love this...
    Great descriptive narrative, rhythm & flow...
    The story is captivating & well thoughtout...
    And the picture... I loved that movie, the soundtrack was awesome...
    A fantastic & well penned write you have here...
    Well done!!!


  • DrkPoet silver member
    April 5, 2008

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    This was truly an outstanding piece of work!! The imagery was stunning and the rhyming was flawless, most definately deserving of all the trophies. I'm so glad you chose to enter it here also, thanks.


  • LittleMoon silver member
    March 21, 2008

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    Absolutely sensational, if I had looked through these first I would never of bothered to enter. So well written and wonderful choice of words to embrace the story and mood. A winner again.


  • penman gold member
    March 21, 2008

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    Beautiful

    Oh my what a stunning creation you have penned. This is so amazing. Congratulations on all the trophies, they are so well deserved.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome Write Great flow and rhyme Wow congrats on all the trophies too. Thanks for entering this into my contest. Good luck with it


  • Never Fall in Love
    March 9, 2008

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    Wow!
    My god, I'm blown away. Its been a very very long time since I fond something that flowed as perfectly as that. This is way too good - brilliant is all that can be said

    Never ♥


  • melphleg gold member
    January 24, 2008

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    wow

    Excellent story, rhyme and flow. It is no wonder it has won many trophies. It is well deserving of many accolades. This also speaks to anyone captured by the sin of lust and could be a metaphor for the freedom the savior brings. That is what vampires represent in literature: lust and why salvation from them is found in the "cross"
    Again well done. This again is a fine example of why I put you on my favorites and why I enjoy reading your poetry. You are truly talented.


  • Cerbie20
    January 18, 2008
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    i really like the discriptions in this one. it tells a lot. good job!


  • Laura-Critchley
    January 9, 2008
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    Crap... I'm going to lose this contest!

    Really, an amazing write!

    Well done!


  • Xx Luna xX
    January 9, 2008
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    Wow!!!!!!

    I'm speechless!


  • crystallynnbradford
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes! this is just the thing that I was looking for...yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • gothgirl612
    September 23, 2007
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    Impressive, and love the Queen of the Damned picture. Good luck in my contest....


  • MuddyKing
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellence is rare

    win or lose...lmao...look up T....genius times 5
    and hopefully 6
    best wishes sweet lady
    peace and hugs
    Muddy


  • Tangled Angle
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is genius.

    This is why I like rhyme so much now.. because of such complex rhyme schemes.

    Win or lose, this is very, very impressive.


  • Heavens Child
    August 23, 2007

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    Stunning poetry with fantastic imagery and flawless flow and rhyme. 'That kiss that robbed my very breath and took me to the brink of death', brilliantly worded. I love the sensuality of this piece. Thank you for the entry in my contest.


  • Whoochi gold member
    July 15, 2007

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    I am NOT one for Vamp writes BUT this is exquisite and flows so smoothe...it captivated and held me all the way to the end...awesome poem...and love the pic....Congrats on the Gold...!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 15, 2007
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    Very tasteful indeed. I enjoyed the rhyme throughout this piece and the beautiful imagery used. Describing this temptress in such a beautiful way, how could someone so beautiful be so evil, kind of thing. I enjoyed this one very much, which is good, as fantasy isn't normally my thing [lucky dark is then, huh?].

  • tigress3737
    June 29, 2007
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    Brilliant poetry! The rhyming flows very well. The whole poem makes the story come alive!


  • EmanonTragedy
    June 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well damn!

    I'll have to say that this is probably my favorite vampire poem EVER.

    I love your style. This piece flowed effortlessly. I read it aloud and felt seduced by the vampiric charms that flowed from each word.

    Lovely.

    I wish you well.


  • Floorboards
    March 20, 2007

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    amazing

    this is absolutely amazing my friend, congratulations on your silver trophy, the gold winner must have really been something, well done indeed,
    alex


  • DareU2Byourself
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. How did you do it!?! How long did it take you? I'm very impressed.. Great job and good luck in the contest.

  • piccola silver member
    March 19, 2007
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    I see why you've won trophies with this. It's exceptional. They're are some lines that are outstanding to me, but each time I find one..another one crops up. I'd be cutting and pasting the whole poem LOL. Thank you for this entry.


  • dream5111
    March 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "The winter wind now whipped her hair, and I could only stand and stare,
    Those sensual lips made me despair, they whispered kiss me if you dare,
    Now standing in that icy breeze and paralyzed from feet to knees,
    I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
    The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight" is my favorite part


    • masterblaster gold member
      March 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hi emorocker, sorry but I really do not understand why you just quoted a part of the poem but left no other comment, you left me rather perplexed to say the least.Di


  • EvenStarsBreak--x
    March 2, 2007

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    wow! this poem is amazing!!! I really liked it... and it's kinda spooky... which. It's well written too and i enjoyed reading it. ^-^ Good job and good luck in the contest. ^-^


  • ForgottenMemories
    March 2, 2007
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    wow this poem is spectacular, I loved it. the imagery drew me in and I could plainly see everything that you wrote. nice choice of wording aswell, very well done. good luck in my contest. xxShadowEaterxx


  • JohnnyD gold member
    February 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of a cajun gal I used to date in the 70s north of New Orleans, named Ginger. A firebrand of a woman if there ever was. Eyes and hair dark as asphalt oozing from the ground on a moonless night and a smile which always besmerched lustfull pleasure. However, being as I never took note of any of this and uh...lie like the dog I am....LOL!.......errr..well....congrats on the bronze there gal!

    JD


  • Abdul T Alishtari
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I loved that movie. LOL but

    Peace

    I like those moments
    harsh which dramatically shows
    not only macabre intent
    but blood which flows.

    Peace

    Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari


  • Sacrificial Love
    February 10, 2007
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    WOAH....

    this is eery...spooky...but DELICIOUS....

    incredibly penned...

    Sahabah


  • Starswhispers silver member
    January 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice piece I really enjoye the flow and internal rhymes, this is full of lovely imagery and such a smooth write.


  • Kei-Aira
    January 7, 2007

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    I love the internal rhyme in this piece - it really helped the flow of the poem overall. It reads very nicely and I found myself being dragged into the poem with your words and great imagery.


  • suseann
    October 21, 2006
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    You told the plot well and your continuation of flawless rhyme was great.As for the story line,it was a good one too.~~Suseann You never disappoint me.


  • individuality gold member
    October 20, 2006
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    this is a good piece of poetry which you have written here, it holds a nice rhythm to the poem and the flow is very nice. i thank you very much indeed for sharing your poetic talent. i wish that you have good luck in the contest you have entered.


  • angel-kyra
    October 20, 2006
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    Hello, I loved your poem. It's by far the best one I have seen so far on this site. I will deffinately be reading more of your work. I wish you luck in future writings. Bye!

  • masterblaster gold member
    October 20, 2006
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    Hi, thanks a million, hugs, Di


  • JadedxPassion
    October 20, 2006
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    No Wonder All The Applause!
    My Dear! Amazing!
    She reached from far beyond the grave, and knew the passion that I craved.


    This. Is The Most Beautiful Poem I Think I've Ever Read. I'm Definately Checking Out Your Others. It Rhymed Perfectly,Nothing Seemed Forced, It Was Dark,Mysterious,And Beautiful. I Wish You Much Luck,Not That You'll Need It With A Gift Like This.-greysen.

  • masterblaster gold member
    October 16, 2006
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    Hithanks a million, hugs Di


  • MelissahhMidnite
    October 16, 2006
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    beautiful work, wonderful iamgery, thank you very much
    ~kyo-kun~


  • MissPriss
    September 11, 2006
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    This is trilling. really well written and capturing. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!!!

  • masterblaster gold member
    September 1, 2006
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    Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di


  • Lauren Noir
    September 1, 2006
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    What a great poem! I really loved it. The rhyming was amazing and the description of things was just amazing. Good luck and very well done


  • MadisonRae
    August 3, 2006
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    Fantastic to say the least. The picture matched perfectly and i have to wonder if you wrote the poem for the picture? Your structure was perfect and the rhyme was right-on. I loved it. I really did.Thanks for entering and best of luck.

    Madison

  • 13Bloody-Roses
    July 30, 2006
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    thanx for entering! good luck


  • SexyAngel0418
    June 29, 2006
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    WOW... This is awesome!!! It is a very well written poem Di!!! I really liked it!!! Thanks for entering and good luck!!!

    Hugs,
    Beth

  • masterblaster gold member
    May 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di


  • Babyruth714
    May 28, 2006
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    I read this before but didn't have time to critique it, good piece, very eloquent, good use of vocabulary, great tone and imagery, welcome to my contest Ruth


  • wildflower22900
    May 27, 2006
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    OMG WOW!!! This is absolutely incredible! This is such a winner! I wish you all the luck. Your a great writer. This flowed so nicely and smoothly. I've never read anything like it. GOOD job and keep em coming!


  • MLMorin
    May 27, 2006
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    excellent

    Mysterious and chilling. I felt every word! An excellent piece.


  • Tercil gold member
    May 27, 2006
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    Now that's what you call poetry, how can one compete with this??? Excellent, I shall hopefully get in the frame!!! heeeee!!! Lovely work!!!


  • wakingdevil
    May 24, 2006
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    Fantastic

    Score:
    Subject:3.9
    Rhyming:2.8
    Flow:2.3
    Total:9.0
    This was brilliant and interesting to read.Thanks for your entry and best of luck in the contest!Entered in my previous contest sso scored a little less!
    Edited on May 24, 6:13 because ''.


  • I Am The Nightmare
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing poem I love the way it flowed together and I could visualize everything in my own mind. Keep up the great work. Thanks for entering my contest!
    <3 Blood Lust <3

  • masterblaster gold member
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi thanks a million, but it does rhyme,lol, hugs Di

  • comet of 1989
    May 1, 2006
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    "I felt the passion of that kiss that dragged me to the dark abyss,
    The fates now sealed this lost soul's plight"
    Wow, these two lines are great. Great poem overall, glad that it doesn't rhyme
    X tragedy X

  • masterblaster gold member
    April 3, 2006
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    Hi papalegba thanks a million, hugs Di

  • Revwilliamfoos
    April 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ah i see it as if i were there loved this moving peace keep the writeing up
    love the papa
    Edited on Apr 03, 2:47 p.m. because ''.

  • masterblaster gold member
    April 3, 2006
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    Hi.bbb,thanks a million, hugs Di

  • blessedbeyondbelief
    April 3, 2006
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    Awesome

    Amazingly written...sensual, mysterious..."these are a few of my favorite things" I greatly enjoyed reading this work and according to the amount you have posted you can keep me in shock and awe for days to come. I look forward to reading more...Excellent job my friend.


  • wolvesspirit
    April 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    brillent

    great poem loved it love the pic to

  • masterblaster gold member
    April 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, thanks a million, hugs Di


  • Wonders How U Feel
    April 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    let me start off by saying that i love you for having Aaliyah on the page. she is so beautiful. i love the rhythem and flow of the poem. it was so mysterious and brillant. it is so sensual and seductive and very creative. i commend you for this poem. you did a fantstic job. you can add my applause to the many that are up there. you are a very talented poet. keep up the good work


  • Smirnoff Ice
    April 3, 2006
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    Wow fantastic write

  • masterblaster gold member
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, thanks a million, glad you liked it, hugs Di


  • Hes My Oxygen
    March 23, 2006
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    I am speachless, this is truely a dark love poem as I've ever read one. Beautiful choice of words. I could picture so much, becuase of how descriptive you were. I absolutely loved it! Good Luck in the Concert.

  • masterblaster gold member
    February 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi sweet thing thanks a million, hugs Di


  • nomorework
    February 28, 2006
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    In mirror,on throat, the marks I see, I fight the lust I feel in me. space....

    HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEK! Wonderful work, wonderful! MUST HEAR MORE!!!!!!!!!

    Oh my gosh, there are no words to describe this! You've done the impossible! THE IMPOSSIBLE! Sweet Jesus, you've made me speechless.


  • mypassion
    February 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You just amaze me mum with your extroadinary writes..I like this I like ir a lot you had mt attention from beginning to end...Good luck in the contest..I just have these chilling goosebumps all over my arms...WOW! It is so cool to have you for a mom... Brenda


  • masterblaster gold member
    February 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Jinxgirl thanks a million, your name made me curious is there a story behind it? hugs Di

  • Jinxgirl
    February 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow. this is just awesome, the words, the description, it's like a story, a play, i could see it all in my head. from all your applauds it's obvious everyone else loves it too. thanks for your great entry!


  • masterblaster gold member
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi my friend, thanks a million, my poems either come quickly aprox 20-30 mins on this length or I scrap them, most in 15-20 mins,with me it's that way,I'm a rhyme freak so they tell me,lol,but I do edit several times after posting,but to be truthful the ideas will run around in my head for a day or so,then I grab a pen and down it goes, hugs Di


  • February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Masterful rhyme. So often I see forced rhymes that make my teeth ache. But yours was a breath of fresh air. Though I can't help but wonder if it had taken you ages to do this?

    Piper

  • sigrun odinsdottir
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    fantastic!

    For something that is not your thing, you truly wrote an excellent, sensual, seductive, amazing piece of work. WOW. You definitely got the "master" part right in your name


  • Reflections Lived
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i suppose you like anne rice also from the picture. awsome right! you really do deserve every one of those applauds up there..all 157 of them (158 including me if i counted right). jeez! lol. i agree with graveyard princess's comment about the flow of the poem sounding something like edgar allan poe's the raven. it really just pulls you in and forces you to keep reading. how many contest have you won with this? im curious lol. since i find you such a distiguished poet...(if i spelled that right lol), would you mind reading the poem i submitted for this contest? it would mean the world to me...even if you dont like it. good luck...im sure you will place something if not the gold. always keep writing. ive added you to my favorites but dont be too mad if i dont keep up with everything you write. im not on this site too often any more. just a heads up. *kat~~~

  • masterblaster gold member
    January 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, I'm happy you like this poem, thanks a million, hugs Di


  • Graveyard Princess
    January 21, 2006
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    Well, as from your applauds I guess I don't need to tell you that this piece was very well done. I loved how all the rhyming flowed together something akin to The Raven by the late great Edgar Allen Poe. I see now why you requested prewrites to be allowed. Good luck!!! This truly is a great write.


  • masterblaster gold member
    January 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi,thanks a million, it was an experiment to write something about a subject that does not interest me,lol, vampires are not really my thing, you analised it very well, a big hug Di

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