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Not finished..any suggestions...

My world is falling apart around me
An earthquake shattering my soul
The last crack before the ice breaks
Before the iciness swallows me whole

Author notes


Written October 15th, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Huntress silver member
    October 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this just the way it is.

  • killa queen
    October 15, 2005
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    oh that sux I know what it's like to feel like that, well in my own way, I hate the feeling that everythings going downhill and it's too fast for you it sux so bad, I hope things get better for you.


  • theothersideofme
    October 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well done, it says so much with so little. I lke this. Great imagery. I think I would leave it as is.
    Edited on Oct 15, 6:13 p.m. because ''.


  • ShadowStalker
    October 15, 2005
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    This was almost like you've lost hope and you believe it's all over...I liked it. It was short, but who the heck cares when you got a poem like this one. Great job and I'm glad I got the chance to read it.