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Reading Tanka




silently
I read your words
on the open page
your emotions running
onto my sleeve














Andrew Hide
14~10~2005

Author notes

Allpoetry school tanka class.
allpoetry.com/Application/1552023
Written October 14th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • ea silver member
    October 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that's a funny idea-- someone else's emotions turning into your own tears. good job.


  • Lonely
    October 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    what about reading your words on the monitor screen? i dont know much about these forms of poetry.. but your words always touch the readers heart.


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    October 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Very moving...

    This is a wonderfully touching 3-4-5-6-4 tanka. It brought tears to my eyes. The pivot line, L3, has blended the upper part (Kaminoku) and the lower part, (Shimonoku) of the tanka very well. I think the fact that you used only 1 -ing word is also very nice because this is so short a poem, so too many -ing words would make it look real heavy. I really like and admire your tanka talent.

    Best Wishes,
    Charishma


  • mona
    October 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow so beautiful


  • Emerald13
    October 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    yes ... it is lovely


  • haikumonk gold member
    October 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful Andrew.... good luck with the class.....

1 - 6 of 6