A Hell of a Dream
I had a dream the other night,
I saw myself, an empty shell.
My soul had left, and taken flight,
there was no time for me to dwell.
And in my heart there was no fright,
I drifted free, and I thought "Well,
I better head towards the light,"
and I reached out, but then I fell.
But not as far as to the blight,
when I could feel a teardrop swell,
I would not die without a fight.
This was a dream. I'd live to tell!
The flames were hot and burned my sight,
then I awoke with a big yell.
It was a dream, I know that's right,
but I recall that burning hell.
© Jim T. Henriksen
October 14th, 2005
Author notes
This poem is entered into shadedheart's contest "Secret Dreams".
The poem is about a nightmare, but I am relieved to say that it is not one of my own dreams. I don't have nightmares, atleast not like this.... I only make them. >
Written October 14th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Secret Dreams by shadedheart.
400 points, ended March 11, 2006, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Hi, Jess! Thanks for the comment, and the applause, it means a lot to me. Jim
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Hi, Sara Jane! Thank you so much for the comment, I really appreciate it! Jim
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Very awsome write!
~*~
Much love, pain,
Jess
~*~ -
A really good write, congratulations on the trophy, nice job, well done. sj
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Hi, Gypsy! Thank you so much, I am glad you liked this poem so much. Never dreamt that I would win with this.
Thanks for the comment, and the applause, I really appreciate it! Jim
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Reading this again, I stand by my thoughts on it quite astutely! Here's my comment from earlier copied over from notepad
Great style on this, the flow is quite excellent and nothing seems forced. This is told in such a sytle that it almost entrances the reading and pulls them into that moment in time. Absolutely fabulous! Blessings, Gypsy -
Hi, Steph! Yes, nightmares can be hell.
Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it! Jim
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wow, bit scary...hate nightmares they seem so real then you wake up and think why the hell did i dream this? another great write..... vivid. from Steph
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Hi, Shahrzad! Yes, I like to make nightmares. Hopefully no one will have to face this, dead or alive.
Thanks for a wonderful comment! Jim
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lol..you like to make nightmares?
This was a great poem.I hope no one ever face such a thing either in dream or reality.
Shahrzad -
Hi, Jessica! Well, I think everyone has their personal opinion of what Hell is like. Glad you liked my poem! Thanks for the comment! Jim
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I have written a lot in the past about hell, and what I think it would be like. I love reading other people's ideas on what it would be like. This was a very well versed point of view. I loved it to death...mwah ha ha!
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Hi, timecube poet! Thanks for your comment, and your applause, I appreciate it a lot! Jim
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Thanks for the comment, Shelby! I am glad you like my poem. None of it was forced, it came to me floating on a dream! Cross my fingers and my toes, and hope to win the contest...
Jim
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Thanks, Lunie! I guess hell is individual to each persons conception of it. Glad you liked my poem, though! I'll try to get my poem published one day, but thanks for the offer! Jim
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haha loved your authors comments. this was very nice i liked the second to last stanza the best. i could see the horror in it somewhat, but was discouraged to see that some of the rhymes were sounding a bit forced. try not to force them, if it doesnt flow well...just dont rhyme it! i liked it a lot though, very nice, much talent.
<3shelby -
Nice..Nightmares..I hate them..well your poem pictured them well..Good luck at the contest!
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Well, chances are that you will now that you have read this poem. Glad you like my poetry that much, spiritking. While waiting for my next one, please read my other poems. Thanks for the comment and the applause!
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great
Man makes me hope that I don't ever have a dream like that anytime soon. It was a good write and you described everything just right. I've had dreams like that but I don't wind up in hell. It's a scary sight that you could go down there and actually burn for eternity. Great write and can't wait for the next one really soon. -
Thanks, Kitty! I am thrilled that you like it, I knew you would. Thanks for the comment and the applause, sweet AP-niece of mine...
, 
, and ♥ from
your uncle Starhiker -
Thanks, Jo! Glad you liked my poem, maybe it will inspire you to write like this again... I really appreciate your comment!
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Wow! This is really catchy!! I love it! There are so many images portrayed by these words! Keep it up!!
One love,
Kitty xx -
very good. it was a good read and it was something like what i would write but lately all the things that i can write are compleatly ful of raw emotion and things are the way they are and i haven't been able to put out anything good. this was a good read.
kudos
jo -
Thanks, Jess! Rhyming in "abab"-pattern is not that difficult, but "abab abab abab abab" is worse. Thanks for the comment, and the applause!
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Wow, that was a long comment! A lot to reply to.
It seems like the title was good. I was unsure if it fit properly. Hehe... I think Freud would have nightmares from this poem. Thanks for the applause! Comming from you it means a little more. Yeah, too bad the contest closed. Udit hinted that it could have won. Hope to be able to enter it into another dream-contest, one that accepts prewrites... Looking forward to your next masterpiece poem! Jim
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Wow! This is fantastic! And so creepy. It reminds me of many nightmares I've had. And how on earth do you do rhyming like 'abab'? I can NEVER do that! *jealousy*. This is a great write.
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Amazing Work!!!
Jim, This was "A Hell of a Dream"!!!!! OMG bro, you really need Freud to analyze this one. Great rhyme scheme and it flowed like a river to the sea. You had me hanging on every word it was so intense. The images you created were so vivid that I don't want to go back to sleep. I have to give you a standing ovation to go with my applause here. Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Another brilliant piece that your pen has wrought. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I wish the contest hadn't closed, this would have been gold. Keep up the great work bro, but go easy on sis will ya. 
Love and blessings to you always. Joyce
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Yes, it is true, all has had a dream like this, if not about falling into hell, then something other terrible stuff. Maybe, if this was my dream, it would be because of my contest about the seven sins? Thanks for the comment and the applause!
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v. good
Aha methinks this is just a bad dream, but they do say that dreams reflect awakening hours - soooooooo what have you been up to?
I liked the flow and rhyme of this poem, and also, the content. Let's face it, we've all been there - either running on the spot with something horrible chasing, or falling through eternity - it's when you don't wake up, it's time to worry.
Thanks for sharing this poem, Starhiker, I did enjoy it, and really must applaud. - good luck in the contest
Edited on Oct 16, 8:18 because '.......'. -
Thank you, Udit! Good to hear you liked it that much. Maybe you should hold a new contest, where those who entered in your concelled contest could send in their previous entries as prewrites? Your comments and your applauses are always welcome!
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Wow! Amazing poem, jim! I'm sure this would have won you a place in the contest. Maybe even first place.....but I'm sorry it had to be cancelled due to certain issues. Anyways, a heartfelt applause here. I hope it'll suffice. Great job!
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Thank you, Linda! Could be, could be... I'll never tell.
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Thanks for the comment and the applause, Victor. I really appreciate your opinion!
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Jim, nice poem you have written, seems to have been a nightmare from hell, then you fell, but got up and started to write, what you had to tell.. kinda funny .. Linda
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i htink its a dream me self.. kick ass poem jim!!!
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