the midday sun in a blaze
leaves its victims burnt and dazed
it has no mercy, each scorching ray
so vile it craves human prey
the midday sun in a blaze
blinds all eyes which to it gaze
but eyes return to the sky
time creeps by as spirits die
the midday sun in a blaze
does not deserve yet receives much praise
it battles the moon and wins its throne
but loathes all others and stands alone
the midday sun in a blaze
creates rules mortal man obeys:
oh faint of heart and fair of skin
when the sun is out, stay within
Author notes
to Bekah.
i finally posted a new poem!
and ppl, i wrote this for a class so it isn't wonderful. and it needs some work if you have any suggestions.
Written October 13th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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nice one....i get sunburn sooo much...
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Beth , this is great. I love the rhyme and rythmn to this excellent poem. Serves as a good warning to. We almost always forget how harmful the suns rays are. Bravo....mal
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Grrrrr, Bethy! Why can everyone else write better poetry than me, and manage to get more comments as well! Ug. Loved the poem, the sun is sometimes slightly overrated
The rhymes are excellent!! It does not feel forced at all, something I can't accomplish 
Luv yas,
~ J -
Somebody doesn't lke the daytime
lol. Or the sun. I think I had thoughts like this running through my head during band camp. EXCELLENT poem! I thought you DID pull off the rhyme.
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yay beth! you posted a new poem! hooray! & thnx for dedicating it to me in your author's comment. lol. how sweet. well, i think that the rhyme is absolutely fine. some ppl just dont like rhyming poetry. i, on the other hand, quite enjoyed it. i love the lines:
it battles the moon and wins its throne
but loathes all others and stands alone
it's so cool how you worded that. oh, & like every1 else who's commented, i love the last stanza. it made me smile. see...
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thanks lucy. and i didn't pull off the rhyme, at least not according to some people. but you can't please everyone. the last stanza was my favorite also. and i am sure you could rhyme if you tried, so try! i mean, if i can then you most definately could. really. BTW, rhyme is much easier when you have a dictionary of it.
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thanks. i usually don't write with rhyme cause i agree that it is very annoying unless it is a wonderful poet that uses it. (and i wouldn't have tried on this one except it was required for the class.) i am too lazy to rewrite it, but next time i will keep in mind what you said. thanks
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the last stanza was wicked awesome!! great job beth! you always rock at this stuff. i would never pull off rhyme... exactly why i dont try haha. lovely write, and sooo true!
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i love you.
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some people are so anti-rhyming... i think it's wonderful
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you might want to abandon the rhyme you got going here because it's annoying as hell.that's really about it,if you rewrote i'm sure it would be a great poem.
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