Insightful, was the blind man
having seen his errored ways
as he sat in darkness
dreaming...
and planning his escape
Step into the sunlight...
came a whispered voice behind
'twas the madman, thinking clearly
sharing wisdom from his mind
But, the blind man gave no answer
having grown too tired to fight
though, he admitted there were moments
when he was sure he'd seen some light
The madman whispered softly
My friend...you must believe
for even I found solace
though my senses took their leave
So step ye forward
from the dark
and come in from the cold
and you shall find sweet love again
she's there to have and hold
The blind man looked up sadly
his spirit growing weak
the madman smiled that smile of his
saying, "friend, you need not speak
for everything you're thinking now
I've thought it all before,
you've built some walls to hide your pain
but, you didn't build a door!
Our lives pass by so quickly
it's sad my friend, but true
and all the love you felt for her
will return one day, to you...
For even I get lonely
and I cry out from the pain
so the whole world thinks I'm crazy
but, perhaps it's I who's sane..."
The blind man
still insightful...
could see clearly once again
as the madman smiled insanely
after all...he was insane
The blind man thanked him warmly
for he'd helped him to believe
then the madman left in search of
a quiet place to grieve...
Author notes
The "Madman" is what I call my "alter ego"...so bare with me here...the madman writes the dark stuff...the blind man is also me...the one asking questions, confused and confronted...so I think this is me talking to...myself? Okay...maybe I AM a little crazy...
Written October 13th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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You're too kind...but thank you so very much
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Wow this is an amazing poem. I loved it. It shows how sometimes you find inspiration from crazy places. Yet it still shows that sometimes even those who give the best inspiration are those hurting the msot. THat hide from their pain to enlighten others. It gives you something to think about. Great job it has inspired me to read more of your work.!
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Thank you Talia...but for me...Always the bridesmaid...never the bride...so to speak...everyone loves it but it never wins any awards...that's okay though...I didn't write it to win awards...I wrote it because it needed to be written...for me...and my alter egos
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It hink this could be made into a story, you really should add to this... I swear.
Nice work and good luck in the contest
Natalia -
Wow-this piece is absolutely fantastic!!! great write, insightful message, wonderfully talented words and a fascinating story-very powerful talent is shown here and this is just my type of writing with a message-I truly enjoyed this and as far as I'm concerned, THIS IS A WINNER!!!! peace & blessings
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:: He was breathless. :: Oh my god, I loved this, I loved this so very much, you should check out the poem 'Antediluvian Bedlamite', it's really wierd and it kind of reminds me of this poem, as so your poem reminds me of it. - Lance Ryan Williams: To be forgotten is worse then death, and being blind sucks.
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Thank you -Belle....you have no idea how much that means for you to say it was one of your favorites...makes living some of this stuff just a lil bit more worthwhile
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Congratulations on your silver trophy! This was one of my favorites. Much self-revelation in this write. All my best, Belle
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Wow. This is a great poem. I can totally understand the whole concept of "you talking to yourself". My favorite lines in here were
"you've built some walls to hide your pain
but, you didn't build a door!"
I am not sure why but that really struck a chord with me when I read it.
Great Job! -
Thank you very much Iohagh...the Irish in me keeps me doing what I do...be it good...or bad...or..well...indifferent? Thanks for reading
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Darling
I keep running into your exceptional works. Keep it up. Congradulations. Smoosh
Janet -
Thank you Sandy...I am honored to even be read by others, let alone win something...take care
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WONDERFUL POEM
Congratulations Clayton on your bronze. I think this is worthy of a Gold. Excellent poem. A pleasant read this morning. Thank you for sharing. Take care, Sandy
Edited on Jun 15, 5:03 because ''. -
You should win!!!
WOW! This is an OUTSTANDING poem with great rhyming, word choice, a very good concept basically of putting forth "who am I", and the discussion between the sane man and the insane mad man in you, that is what I liked best here. I felt that I could see this happen so clearly, I could sense the emotions being discussed and live it through your words. The imagery is fantastic too in this poem, no doubt. There is a blind man and a mad man in each of us. I guess in the end it all pans out between how many good deeds and how many bad deeds have you done when the soul hangs on the cosmic scale of justice in the heaven. The part that I could connect with the most in this poem which I have felt in the past when I loved a guy who deceived me is:
"Our lives pass by so quickly
it's sad my friend, but true
and all the love you felt for her
will return one day, to you..."
All the very best to you,
Charishma
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Thank you a lot...the banter that goes on in our (my) head, just lived out loud on paper...a brief glimpse inside
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Well personally I found this so beautiful. It expressed us all. The clear thought patterns we all have. The way we argue with ourselves. This is perfectly true of every living being. We make choices and decisions that effect our lives. You gave it a special edge by hitting on the romance angle. That is something we all have felt at some time or another.
An Excellent, Clever Write.
Jan -
yes, and what is so delightful about it is that you are the screenwriter, the director, each one of the actors, the scenario itself ... and at the same time, the silent spectator of the play ... great news, isn't it ? the actors fight on the screen pretending that this is all very serious, and you as the spectator can happily sit back, watch the play and eat your popcorn !
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mariananda...you have given me great praise...and I am so knocked out that you liked this one...it is a very personal poem, in that it is me and my life and dealings with my inner battles
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dear clayton,
I am deeply touched and profoundly moved by this insightful poem of yours. it had already this effect on me the first time I read it a few days ago. you have so skillfully and masterfully described the nature of human ego and the games it plays so perfectly disguised as a saint or wise man ... we, in the sense of "who we really are", easily fall into the ego's pitfalls and get diluded by illusion's mirage in the desert, isn't it so ? so willingly forget our true nature, running after beliefs and promises ... the two personages you chose to represent the multiple facets of this perfect "liar", we call the ego-personality, are such delightful actors in the divinely beautiful scenario you have created here for us. you seem to have explored the inner universe of casted shadows very thoroughly. I am very honored and pleased that you have found this contest and that you have decided to participate in it. with my very best wishes and appreciation for your unique talent,
marion
Edited on Jun 11, 11:13 because 'ego is a "liar" and not a "lyer" ... (or maybe both ?)'.
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Thank you John...yes, I think we all have many sides, these are my two most consistent sides...
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Well I love the way you have broken yourself into two personae. A very clever write with wonderful meter and excellent flow. You have done a great job with this write. I especially like the fact that it requires an insane man to provide a little sanity for the blindman, who has supposedly seen the err of his ways. Great write that leaves a person wondering if an insane person is really insane or just too intelligent for most of us to understand. Applause is in order.
John -
awwwwwwwww...i sort of wanted the madman to win...lol
this was well-written with good rhythm and rhyme. it kept me on the edge, wanting to read faster...to see who would win in the end. i'm glad for you , though, that the blind one won...madness is not desireable.
~tryst -
I humbly accept, but love your compliments...
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Enlightening
Insane beauty and somewhat reminding me of Phaedrus.. mm very very interesting write.
I loved this part
you've built some walls to hide your pain
but, you didn't build a door!
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A wonderful piece.....I can't get enough of how you put your words together...you are amazing.
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After many years of self-inflicted insanity, I snuck out through a window..
I'm still insane, but it's what I like to call a clearer insanity.
Thank you for sharing this piece, I loved it.
I hope you feel your way to the windows, and shatter the glass!
As I go off muttering to myself....lol! -
excellent
A great poem.So different from any other and so imaginative -
Wow....This si great....I love the story line...The metaphorical outline is fantastic...Amazing work...I applau your wonderfully written work....
"The blind man looked up sadly
his spirit growing weak
the madman smiled that smile of his
saying, friend, you need not speak
for everything you're thinking now
I've thought it all before,
you've built some walls to hide your pain
but, you didn't build a door!
Our lives pass by so quickly
it's sad my friend, but true
and all the love you felt for her
will return one day, to you..."
I really like those lines....They are words that can be lived by....Great job....Writing something that people can relate to cna be hard, but you performed the task very well....Thanks for sharing....Keep writing....
Mandi Burleson -
this is a nice story poem and i liked reading it verymuch.
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Fantistic poem with a profound message .Well done .i am book marking this one
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very enjoyable read Paladin...and only afterward reading your author's comments what an imaginative read! although it reads perfectly now, I can only imagive how evocative a poem if this information as to you were conveyed in the poem. really appreciate that I was able to read this poem.
be looking for your poems and any of the other alter-egos--(and we all have 'em) out here Paladin!
Jo -
this is great well written and right to the point love the way you have the two charaters talking back and forth not sure but this might be a great contest piece just my opinion though keep up the great work look forward to reading more from you
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excellent
this is amazing. it flows perfectly, and the wordchoice is precise, nothing wasted. great job! -
very good wording, and a real interesting subject! i really did like this one! well done!
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Hey thats really neato! You used some really good wording adn rhyming here, very flawless. Great flow too. Anyways, this is so differnt, I've never read apoem about an alter ego on here before so this is definatly the best I've ever read. nad even if I had read some, this would probably still be among the tops. Great job!
0.o -
Thank you Painpoet for taking the time to read it, I will check out some of yours tonight too...
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thank you...you're probably right about the centering...for some odd reason, I always do that...thank you for reading and for commenting...
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Very well written and the rhyme scheme works very well in this one good job overall and a very enjoyable read thanks for posting this very insightful poem
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Very interesting poem and I like the juxtaposition, as well as the subject matter. Your form was interesting too. I think perhaps it would be stronger for me if it were left justified rather than the hallmark centering. But either way it is a fantastic read!
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Thank you Cisco...for me...it is a curse...I feel as though I'm stuck in meter and rhyme...
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You are quite sane, my friend. I had already made the deduction of the identity of the third person character, and it brings a joy to my heart. I've been on your page for the last 15 minutes thinking about you and lo and behold you appeared. Anyway, this is just marvelous. And happy to see you in this spirit. You know there's a lot of people that's here for you. Always.
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Thank you...hey, where you been? I missed you...
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Thank you so much...but then...crazy people don't know they're crazy...right?
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Thank you...hey, where you been? I missed you...
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i am awed, i am awed by you. the wording is fantastic and your style adds so much intrigue to your piece. very intelligently planned and thought out. your madman, at time, seems kind of like the devil's advocate and at other times, seems to be a healer. your blind man has my sympathies. if you are crazy, that's ok, cause all geniuses are somewhat mental
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this is brilliant. youve written it so well its perfect! i wanted to quote a favorite line but i love it all! really really good. touching. sad. insightful. xxx
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Beautiful
Very beautiful. Well written.
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