He planned to surprise her today on this her thirtieth Birthday
he booked an Island mystery flight that would take them away.
The concept of it excited him, she smiled as he held her hand,
they watched the scenery below them, everything looked so grand.
As they flew over this isolated Island a sudden fear gripped them!
The plane stalled and nose dived out of control creating mayhem,
there was a horrific crash as the plane plumetted to the ground!
The two of them dazed crawled out, somehow the pilot couldn’t be found.
She was in pain, hurt they walked to an old house in the distance
though it was a reckless idea as her foot turned out to be a hindrance.
The house appeared to be empty, but it felt like an invasion of privacy
to walk through the open door it was very dark and hard to see.
They saw a light that led to a basement where it led to a room
that was damp and musty, it gave them an eerie feeling of gloom.
It felt like there was a conspiracy as their skin began to crawl!
ALL of a sudden out of this tunnel a man appeared near the wall!
they ran to the cellar door as he brandished an axe in his hand!
She fell as her leg gave way, he had to carry her across the Island
to return to the plane, then in the distance a helicopter appeared
looking back, they climbed aboard for their life they had feared.
Author notes
Flight
Invasion
Concept
Reckless
Crash
Mystery
Horrific
Pain
Light
Tunnel
Room
Dark
Open
Door
Cellar
Basement
Axe
Conspiracy
Written October 11th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Click Here! by xXxJenxXx.
350 points, ended October 13, 2005, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Hey Vic, I ain't angry, it was written for a contest where I had to use certain words, I'm thinking of adding to it about the disappearance of the pilot, who was the man with the axe? where did the helicopter come from? What happened to them after the helicopter took off?
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3 Stars ***
huh.. didnt you make this story a bit too fast.. like watching a movie in fast forward...
.. ( erm sorry to comment like that... )
i read the contest, well humn.. now i know why you made it out al so fast, wow hey you won bronze for this one .. awesome
.. *hugs and kisses* and many many congratulations... erm.. but i still got a query.. where did the helicopter came from..?? (dun get angry.. pardon my silly head
)
I enjoyed reading.. you enjoy writing
nice write.. good work.. thanks for sharing my dear friend ..............
*hugs and kisses*
*gives choco*
take cares and have anice time my dear friend ................................ just keep it up ..................................... your humble little friend ....................................
................................
............................
.................... - vic ( who else????? )
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Thanks Brian for your comment, yes it could be made into a story.
what happened to the pilot? who was the man with the axe?
jenny -
See Mia, I'm not just a pretty face
I can write other than love poems
yeah, it could be a Horror Mystery flight.
what happened to the pilot? who was the man with the axe?
Jenn -
Thank Herman, I love these kind of Contests where you're given words to create, I could've gone into more details but it would've made it too long, maybe afterwards I'll play around with it.
Jenn
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Hi jen....very good story concept....liked it much....could go from that into a novel if you pursued it....lots of hugs for you...brian....
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Wonderfully written Jenn E. this would have been a horror mystery flight. a very nice different write to your usual
best of luck in the contest
Mia
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Wow what an adventure you describe here in this awesome write. I like those stories where you have to use a list of words. You did it very well. I was sitting on the tip of my chair reading this exiting story you wrote here. And of course I have a weakness for stories :-) Fantastic done once again. Good luck in this contest Herman
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Well Robinnotsonice, I'll work on it just for you
before I go away. Now that's not nice
I could've added more but ran out of the words to fit in, otherwise it would've been too long.
at least it's not a complete love story, THAT should make you happy
Jenny -
wow Jen, beautiful touching write..very different, i like your creativity and imagery in this piece..great job my dear..keep it up
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Well Jen, this is certainly different, and I have to say it's original, but I find it a little clumsy in it's flow.
Also, being a rotten bastard, I would have liked the heroine to have her leg chopped off!
Robin Notsonice
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Niccceeee Great write! used all the words, great story. very cretive! thanks for entering!
1 - 12 of 12






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