There is a song that echoes in the soul,
silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords
or fade to ripple lightly through the mind.
Set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds
that play the reeds on distant lakeside marshes,
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Vague emotions range across a scale of subtle tones
like deep harmonic waves within the sea,
silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords.
Inward temperaments are scored in every mode;
dynamic sounds emerge in sundry measures,
set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds.
Conceptions fluctuate as psychic tides
sweep essential overtones of meaning through the void
like deep harmonic waves within the sea.
Moments aggregate in streams of cheer and gloom
till rivers sing their way through astral motions;
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Dreams irrupt with vital force from black foreboding depths
as rich divergent strains of vibrant hue
sweep essential overtones of meaning through the void.
Indistinct impressions resonate within
like woodwind solos etched against the moonrise,
set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds.
Perceptions cantillate in shifting shades,
airs that shimmer half concealed or surge into awareness
as rich divergent strains of vibrant hue.
Feelings blend like cellos played in midnight woods
where hidden hills resound their phasing movements;
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Welling up from karmic mists beyond our apprehension,
there is a song that echoes in the soul,
airs that shimmer half concealed or surge into awareness
or fade to ripple lightly through the mind.
Orphic intuitions pluck the thoughts and guide
with themes of never-ending transformation—
set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds,
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Author notes
featured in:
Art Arena's World Poems : www.artarena.force9.co.uk/thomas4.htm
to learn more about the hybridanelle: allpoetry.com/Column/1086828/all=1
Written September 17th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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Superb.
Hello Zahhar..great work indeede.
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One of my favorite efforts, too. Glad you enjoyed this.
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hey this 1 is my favorite
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I love this 1 itz so deep
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I loved the texturedness of this poem ...
and the wondrous way in which the words whispered their sighs within sighs. Splendor of both the auditive and the visual "surging" of stanzas, made this a sensoric experience not easy to forget.
Thank you for leading me here, and well done, Poet. I also loved the background. You are very artistic and creative in the true poetic sense of the word.
Love
Myra
Thank you once again for listening to my Afrikaans tongue, struggling in knots with English words. I appreciate the effort from your side.
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a marvel here
a marvel unto the use of the form, and for this alone it is a remarkable poem and an exceptional effort: word choices were questionable for Soughing=soft would reach more readers; irrupt=interrupt?. orphic=why?/ i am somewhat limited in vocab, but i spent years doing crosswords and reading dictionaries so if these words catch me, a few others might have the same reaction; but this is minor; i think this is an excellent piece thoughtful and even profound in parts and so overcoming of the limitations of form. I began to anticipate the build to the repititions so there was skill in that too, overall excellent work...PK
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How in the world did I miss this one ! I love this one, it seems very light and lively. I love the musical feel of this. I picture our spirits dancing in all of natures glory. Our souls do dance around in nature, and the spirits become one with all of nature. The rolling waves, the blowing reeds, all of it, at least thats what I believe. You have represented a souls complete being here, you have captured the good the bad and the proverbial ugly in this piece. As always your imagery is outstanding. When reading this I get the feeling of standing by the ocean letting the waves and the breezes take me over and I become one with all in the universe. Bravo Erin, Excellent write you have penned.
As Always,
Suzanne
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Next time someone asks me for a good example of imagery, I'm suggesting they read your work. This was amazing. Such art and emotion and the wave/ripple ideas brought peace to my mind.
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Bravo!
This is exquisite. I saw the title, and thought "Hmmm . . . 'Soul Music' or 'Soul Song' but cantus a noun or an adjective?' And so off I went to look it up . . . If I'd only read the first line, it wouldn't have been necessary.
This is so finely crafted and yet still beautiful to the ears. So many get either the craft or the aural elegance, but not both as you have done here.
The rhythm and soft sounds capture not only the gentle waves of the sea but also are melodic in their own right - clearly justifying the "cantus" in the title. So your "song of the souls" is also the "song of the sea". And so we come to another layer of analogy - sea = soul.
And the attention to detail continues right down to the gentle gyrations of the verse on the page. Is it the rise and fall of the waves they show or the rise and fall of the softly sung notes? And of course the answer is both.
Stand up and take a bow, please! Bravo on such a wonderful poem in this form I like (thanks to Pamela Lamppa
)!
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Hi Erin,a very beautiful poem from you as usual, has great feel and lovely flow, a pleasure to read, all the best, hugs Di
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Vague emotions range across a scale of subtle tones like deep harmonic waves within the sea,silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords~ these words read like a dream coming out of the mist on an early morning ocean tide. Each wave, each line making something new for someone. Yearning and learning ~ for each wave is new. Such imagery..sets the soul free. Thanks for sharing. ~Sie
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Remember this from a while back.
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wow, this poem was great! beautiful vocabulary and very deep thoughts, very good visual language
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Vary nice poem man, little long but hey it would'nt of made sence if it was'nt......right?
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Very nicely done, Erin. This piece reminds me of one I wrote along the same topic too many years ago that did not capture "the song" as well as yours have.
Thanks for this memory, a memory beyond time,
Chalice -
tj: the background is actually some original art from yours truly.
i'm not sure what you mean by "my head was spannered". it's not a phrase i'm familiar with. would you be willing to elaborate? -
I have a lot to say about this poem; just a moment. I wish to give you the most insightful critique I can.
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wonderful, easy to appreciate for a music lover. thanks for sharing this
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Here we Go..
et adrift in consciousness like soughing winds
that play the reeds on distant lakeside marshes,
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Here's this relaxing nature people want to feel when they go camping. I love this feeling and I felt it very strong when I read this.
I've noticed about your poetry you have a scientific kind of Aura combine with Nature characteristics. It's cool and I don't know anyone else who can do that
J'e Vous Aime,
L'Houx -
It certainly reads like the sea. Beautifully done. The ebb and flow works perfectly and the imagery is lovely. Spiritual, indeed. Very skillfully crafted.^^
Keep up the excellent work.
~Michelle Clark~ -
wow very good poem. i loved it. it really is spiritual. Great write and keep pinning.
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Inspirationally crafted
Erin, vowel music, a fine underlying rhythm,and lots of key phrases underpin the poem's excellence: foaming chords; timbres merge; soughing winds; moments aggregate; surge into unawareness; karmic mists - are just a few that popped to my notice and gave a tonal force to your hybridanelle. This poem takes its energy from the globe twice over: the natural elements of the earth, sea and wind and the world heritage of metaphysics. Pysichal philosophy in word music! Thank you. Lyndon. -
Very beautiful wrk you put into this poem.I really enjoyed reading this poem.Keep up the good work and coninue showing your talent and you'll go far!
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mmmmm made me think
i liked it... but those little background pixels kept dragging me from your words...
there not easy words
well structured
and deep
but my head was spannered by the pixels
lost
like i was pinned to a tv screen watching a good movie in big red blue n yellow dots...
lol
peace -
Beautiful write. Your words flow so eloquently. great imagery.
my favorite lines.......There is a song that echoes in the soul,
silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords
or fade to ripple lightly through the mind.
Set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds
that play the reeds on distant lakeside marshes,
timbres merge and blend, reflecting every mood.
Vague emotions range across a scale of subtle tones
like deep harmonic waves within the sea,
silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords.
Inward temperaments are scored in every mode;
dynamic sounds emerge in sundry measures,
set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds. -
nice poem good flow and nice tone but as i read along on your comments you seem to hae problems here with the poem maybe you should revise it rather than ........critique helps you to grow and become better writer. never the less you used wonderful imagery but is is hard to understand .thanks for the read you seem to work hard on your poems keep up the good work.
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The images were strong and well-used. The musical aspect of life is my favorite aspect of life so I really enjoyed this poem.
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Rarely have I read a poem, or book for that matter that is so well thought out. I have yet to attempt a form this difficult. The time, effort, ans inspiration really shows in this well crafted mantra. You even sent me to the dictionary! I read this, read it again, then READ it.I could go on for ages but for me the really striking things about this masterpiece were these.
Your language lent a music to it, as if each word was chosen for content, meter, and some undefinable nuance.
The way a philsophical journey integrated earth based energy,ie, the tides, the moon, the flowing water, etc. and even music, into a seamless whole.A mix of eastern and western processes are well met.
The repetitions were well thought out and were elements that bear repeating and were spot on in their application.
Please don't feel as if you need to read mine or respond as this was a pure read for me and the poem was what I saught and I will reflect on this one for a good while.
Peace, Rob -
You are good, ET, you are good. What I enjoy best about this piece is the psychical overtones, of which none of us can really escape in life, Isn't that why we're here? Excellent approach. Keep up the good work. I will be following. Catie
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Very well-crafted poem here. The word usage/imagery evoke such feeling in the reader. Well done.
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Intricate and extremely well thought out verse. This poem is an event... needs to be read over several times to savor the language.
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Oh wow this is poem is just excellent to say the least. I love the excellent form of imagery and emotion you have very natural gift for the written word. Excellent work and thanks for sharing
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very well written
Very beautiful write. Your words flow so eloquently and they almost take on the form of a musical score. I really enjoyed this and it is very peaceful to read.
etherealforu
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I think that one of the reasons that I find that I like reading your art, is, I understand the vocabulary. I like that I am reading something that does not say the same thing over and over again.
Even though I have not found time to comment on all of the ones that I have read thus far, I am finding a pattern for me.
I might find myself lost and then I come across a single line, or stanza that hits me right between the eyes and I get it.In this work, it is the line " Conceptions fluctuate as psychic tides" I know that the thought here is not finished, however, to me, this tells me that everyone perceives things differently, and as the moon pulls the tides it has a very surreal type of realistic fantasy to the meaning. Maybe I got it all wrong, But I do appreciate the work that went into this.
Now, I hope that I do not offend when I write this, but soughing is not a word used very ofte,. although effective in the piece, I feel that using it twice seemed a little off to me.
Edited on Nov 04, 10:04 p.m. because 'twice now, there has been a typo, shame on me'. -
Excelent, excellent, excellent!!!
I do not know much about the hybridanelle. I actually do not know much about what's going on the site, for it's been quite a while since the last time I connected. Yours is the first poem I read here in many months. I have to say it captured me. Probably some people have issues with repetition, but I think it's facinating, yet very dificult to make it look and sound totally correct. I love tht type of imagery you use, and the flow just hooks you to read until the end, no matter how long the poem might be.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Att. Enid
Edited on Nov 04, 9:13 p.m. because ''. -
Beautiful form and imagery the emotions likened to the forces of nature and the essence of music itself. The form is exquisite and the word choice absolutely perfect. I, myself, am not as disciplined as you and am extremely envious. Self-absorbtion is my method of the week. Your expressions flow scintillatingly and leave me, the reader, wondering where indeed, this poem leads to next. Perfect write--beautiful -- I am truly in awe!
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The aspect I like the best regarding your poetry is the process.... You evolve each time you write a new poem. With each word you add, you seem to mature... and grow yourself.
It seems like that each of your creations leaves their mark on you as much as you do on them. I'm thinking here... that your poetry has a lot more going on than what might appear on the surface of the poem itself or within the words.
Of course there is excellent imagery. It's a cool form you have worked out as a medium... but it's the process you go through to produce each one that intrigues me.... and therefore more than deserves my admiration.... for both your poetry as well as you, the poet.
Don
Edited on Nov 04, 8:55 p.m. because ''. -
this poem undoubtedly read like "a song that echoes in the soul,
silent swells of melody that crest in foaming chords"!!!!! the rhythm i have never in my life heard anything CLOSE to so definitely kudos for that!! as well as being so beautifully written, the meaning is awesome as well- it truly reminded me of something narrative and deeply, uniquely beautiful like the band Death Cab for Cutie's music. rock on!
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Nice background, excellent choice of words and great imagery-- though it's not really my kind of thing (I find the overly technical forms too constraining), you do have talent. As for me I'm just begining to make my first attempts at "technically correct" poems and I see it's not easy, so my praise to you.
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'Feelings blend like cellos played in midnight woods'...just, damn, if I had words for this I fear I'd never stop typing, your beautiful, and lonely, and amazing, and....yeah, so many thinngs all at once I want to hug you, and I don't even know you...wow.
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oh, it's good i can see that, but perhaps too good, i think. for me, i'm going with personal taste this time, and i can be considered bad guy about that, but it's just too wordy for my tastes, i'd prefer something a bit more homegrown than a fancy dish. but everyone else enjoys it, i'm just telling you my opinion.
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elfin: glad you enjoyed. no i'm not british. you're probably seeing the influence all the english verse i've read through the years has had on me.
i make an even exploration of structured (form) and non-structured (free verse) poetry. if you find you're curious what sort of free verse someone who write's a thing like this might come up with, it's here, too.
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Erin, this is brill,I would not deem to critisise as this kind of poetry is beyond me. however the flow is so smooth and gentle. something about the wording of this work suggest's to me that you are British, am I right? VAL
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1 word...
WOW
u have real talent a gr8 poem
BLOOD-ON-MY-HANDS -
very appealing poem because it is so well written and smooth.
I can tell you worked a lot on this.
When I work this hard I always come out with poor and entangled results personally. -
sk18: the repeating lines are part of the form. i use this form, among others, for practice/self-education purposes. but i put a serious effort into them, too, so the practice effort will hopefully yield some fruit.
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I have to say that this was a little too repetitious for my taste but this poem has some of the best flow around. I loved this poem and I really want to read more. Just tone it down on the repetition of some of the words that you used.
~Willie~ -
"Conceptions fluctuate as psychic tides
sweep essential overtones of meaning through the void
like deep harmonic waves within the sea."
Amazing!
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ILRs: it's so interesting to me how there can be such a variety of reaction to a single poem. some are absolutely disgusted by it saying "it's technically perfect and isn't about anything", others absolutely adore it saying they understand and relate to it and that they love the flow, and others aren't moved one way or the other. lol
there's really no way to predict the outcome is there? i think this is why i write for myself and hope folks like you come along who enjoy what you see.
Edited on Oct 31, 8:06 p.m. because ''. -
You constantly seem to set yourself tough challenges and then surpass them.
I have not come across many people on this site that produce such excellent, technically correct work, with such regularity.
To use the word in it's correct sense I find this output awesome and this poem a treasure. -
Aali
Oh,Erin...I'm impressed.I'm not sure what to say.Well,All part of it is great...I'm not sure what to say.Thank you,Sandi.Keep it on
Break the mirror of being "I"
Let's believe in the beauty of getting "We"
~Massy~ -
JMV: your thoughts lead me to feel that you've seen into the nature and intent of this poem deeper than most. i appreciate your stopping by, reading, and allowing me to see some of how this poem has come across to you.
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ETJ: it's also intended to be a learning experience--for me.
a poem like this is not easy to write, and much is learned from the process of whittling a word-sculpture like this into existence.
though this is intended to communicate on an unconscious level, it also targets a particular audience--the animist and the potential animist.
Edited on Oct 29, 11:51 p.m. because ''. -
Quizzical
Such gorgeous words and moods and feelings, yet, almost bordering on tedium by the time one wades through 12 verses of the beautiful nothingness. I see others have responded lovingly but somewhat at a loss as well, so I won't belabor the point. As you say, "it is intended to communicate on a subconscious level." -
Awesome!
That was great! Another in my "Gotta read it more than once!" club! Go you! -
This was a great read. There is a song that echoes in the soul... I really liked that
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Recognized the background when I clicked - visited before, Sorry.
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good.
The music of the world and of the collective consciousness of the cosmos and human life sings in every soul that will listen. I'm glad that you found words for the melody, and would urge your to keep writing. Perhaps it should be shorter, or perhaps limitless pages should be devoted to this song that you have chosen to hear and put into words. Very impressinve. -
crystaldust 29-10-05 19:29
Perfection again, Mr. Thomas, Sir. You have made the form your own and each variation reveals more and more nuances of mystic nature. Can't say anything else, can I? Salaam. Joy -
very good
Well, this was a nice read. Your writing of this inspired me to research the hybridanelle by using your little link. The form is great, and I think the words you used show excellent imagery. I might decide to write a hybridanelle one day. I've bookmarked this poem so I wont forget. Keep on writing these. -
Wow. You have a lot of talent, and are clearly very intelligent...but I'm not here to read your stars. (bada-bum) Right, yes, I like it, but its all very up there for me, I don't know much about it, being the simpleton that I am...but its full of imagery, flows per-feck-ly, and is as prettiful a poem as I ever read! Five tsars for that. (Haha, tsars, I mean stars.)
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I must first say that I am always glad to see a poet that isn't afraid to experiment with form. Poetry is about restriction and distinction. It takes discipline to write formal poetry. It is obvious that this poem was crafted as opposed to a stream of consciouness write. I applaud the creativity and devotion to spend two weeks on a poem, I myself can't work that slow. I think this is an amazing poem based on those standards.
But(don't shoot me), Amph does make one good point out of all that ranting. A poet should know how to use the words not just drop them in, I think this is the biggest challenge for most poets. If you have the intellect and vocabulary to understand obscure words then I think you should learn to use them more judiciously. Sometimes I get carried away and when the poem is finished it is unreadable and/or it destroys the flow and I have to rectify it.
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It flows. Not just in sound, but in form. The word choice, the writing style.. everything coexists beautifully- and pieces together for an ending that is just as stunning.
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Wonderfull
Beautiful in every sense. Quite playful and soft too. I really enjoyed your word play here. Well done. -
Hi Erin, this is a very interesting form when I have mastered the villanella and if I ever do then would like to try it, I liked the feel of this write, but there is always someone who want's to be a smarty pants, we are learning here on this site and are no pros and don't profess to be, hey ho my friend every village has one, an idiot that is, great enjoyed this very much, hugs Di
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Amphibrachic: there's a lot of anger portrayed in your words, and it's hard to be constructive when you express yourself with such sarcasm. the goal of a site such as this is to share knowledge, insights, and understandings with one another, not to attack and attempt to tear down another's creative process.
i'm unable to decipher any meat to your comment, other than that you seem to have taken issue with me as a person rather than this as a poem. if you find you're able and willing to rephrase your thoughts constructively, i'd be interested to try and gain some insight into where you're coming from. bear in mind that i am already quite aware of this poem's failings. it's hard not to be painfully aware of them after having spent two solid weeks working on it.
for the record, this is an autotelic art poem, as opposed to an expressive or emotional poem. art poetry is not to everyone's liking. this doesn't make it any less valid, however.
in a way, your vitriol signifies a certain degree of success for this poem in that it has elicited a strong reaction from you, albeit not a terribly positive reaction. the goal of any poem is to elicit some reaction in the reader--so you've demonstrated that this poem has this capability. a lot of poets go in for shock-value in order to accomplish the same ends. still, i get the feeling your attack is a cover for some real feeling or real reaction to the poem. so i can't say i actually know what your real thoughts or reactions are to this poem as of yet.
Edited on Oct 29, 3:52 because ''. -
Excellent example of the popular misconceptio
Bombastic afflatus. Amarvelous example of pseudo-poetry, especially with the pretentiousness, not to mention the run-of-the mill obscurity that signifies nothing.
Ooo-a "hybridanelle." Maybe you should try your hand at creating (after, of course, defining)a "sonnestina," a "villanette," or a "bastallade."
(By the way, poets are expected not only to have a wider, more extensive, and veratile vocabulary than most, but also to use words more precisly than others. You might start with learning the proper use of "comprise.") -
You have talent great job!!
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Amazing
You are absolutely amazing. I love it. I read it about ten times, on a word high. You've done so well with the words. This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever laid eyes on.
Canese. -
Yes, I found that when I decided to attempt to write poetry I began with the forms as well. They do help the head get coordinated with meter of the language I think (though as previously stated I never really got meter educated beyond "what sounds good when i read it" ) And also provide a time spent on the concentrated sounds of letters. I have since deleted every form poem I've writtedn (I'm extremely hard on myself .. would never classify anything I do beyond a beginner roaming around the delicious hem of Poetry's skirt) but I found the sestina the most difficult followed by the paradelle.
Oh, I just meant that it seemed to me some cutting / editing may be in order. I'm currently much interested in reading and learning about the works of Imagists - every word must count for something important. I'm fairly new to the "nitty gritty" of Poetry as I have mentioned but do find reading it and about it fascinating.
As mentioned, good luck with the exploration of your form and your studies.
Lisa
(I have a contest to judge based on T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land that I've been putting off because I myself got so immersed ..)
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cv: there are a range of reactions to these hybridanelles. it's a self-development form that i invented to use in honing my own craft, style, prosody, and rhetoric in poetry. i've decided that refrains are worth mastering, so i've devoted four years to working with refrainic forms (villanelle, terzanelle, and my hybridization of the two--the hybridanelle). so far i'm not unhappy with the results (though i would have liked this particular poem to turn out better) as it has helped me increase my understanding of poetics across the board and influenced my free verse positively.
there's a link in the author's comment box to detailed information about the hybridanelle.
as for it being "full of words" and "wordy", yes...well...a poem empty of words or wordless would just be a blank screen or piece of paper, right?
so... um... yeh.
Edited on Oct 18, 9:44 because ''. -
Well, its full of words and is a form, thats for sure.
Hmmmm. My first feeling is I guess I tend to be old school when it comes to forms and prefer the tried and true developed by the masters of old (perhaps your form will one day be spoken of like that who knows?)
.. the villanelle is one of my favorite old forms and I bet this would be a lovely that shortened format.
I have read some of your work when in the feature box but always feel compelled to come to read those who consider themselves studying the Art. (as was in your Post on the Boards)
I myself am not a Poet but have a passion for Art .. Poetry as well as other forms.
I'm no expert in meter of any kind either but it is very wordy but perhaps it needs to meet a specific criteria or set of rules of which I am completely ignorant of with regard to the form.
Some lovely images here.
Thanks for sharing.
Lisa -
Dear Erin,
Rotund applauses for this poem here. I would say this is among the best you've done.
Core animae!
Regards...........................John -
good job
I think your cheering section has hit all the high points. It is refreshing, in any event, to find something without a dozen typos, misspellings or grammatical errors. All in all, good job. I'll leave it to the critics to dissect this, if they wish. That's not my strong point. Good job. -
This is really great! I love this. This is amazing! Great Job!
I really like the background for this too!
~Amanda -
incredible
Wow!This is truly incredible! I don't think it's one you can just read once then move on.You truly have a gift and I think it is tremendeous that you put so much time, thought,and effort into your poetry. I hope to learn from your example! -
Excellent!
Erin, This is the first piece of work that I read of yours and I am totally impressed. It is completely off the hook!
Regards,
Steve -
wow, Erin, im amazed. you just have that effect on people. every poem i read makes me baffeled and almost jealous.
i love it, i simply love it.
</3 -
Wow! great poem. Your words are so refreshing and inspiring. Keep up the great writes.
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Amazing
Your work is beyond me my friend. You an inspiration. I ask you veiw my two new poems. I would appriciate your critical comment, for I am still a novice poet and I seek to gain insight from more established writers such as yourself. -
Hmm... set adrift in consciousness like soughing winds - so is the anima within. A sort of musical goodness inside of us that subtly affect our actions. Working like the tide at the shore, unceasingly. And aren't your stanzas very tidelike? Look at how the extend and receed, and how they recycle the same thoughts into new ones in later stanzas (yeah, it's a function of the form, but it all works to good advantage). The whole poem gives this feeling of human life as a nuance that works its way through the everything of life - something not easy to see but that cannot be denied. An overall harmony.
I like how this sort of ties human thought and emotion into the natural world in a sort of harmony weaved in a music-like process. There's a feeling of all our 'anima's come together to sing this song of life.
Coincidently, I don't think I've ever seen a better justification for the conceit that the ocean is a song.
Mike
Edited on Oct 12, 5:46 p.m. because ''. -
Was here before - liked it then too.
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JF: forever... it took forever.
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Firstly, Erin, I liked the title very much, translating it as 'Song of the Soul'. I don't go in much for 'souls' in the way it is often used, but 'anima' is so much more.
I equated the poem on first reading with the bamboo flute, which I knowyou play, and also to the Aeolian Song, your previous incarnation and found the whole, including the layout complementary to this.
I am not going to discuss the technicalities of the form- you wrote it, you know what they are Personally, I have been moving further and further away from 'form' as such and working on prosodic devices in free verse. I woul dtend to agree with Nimbus, in that the hybridanelle form does restrict the beautiful musicality of the thoughts expressed here,in some ways, but in other ways it works. I found this on the fourth of fifth reading when I realised that it actually read like a structured piece of music (of which I know nothing technically but I can recognise a refrain when I hear one )
I liked 'Orphic', better than the suggested 'Mystic', for what the opinion is worth. It is more suggestive , more poignant. Mystic woul dthrow it somewhere completely different, maybe too too abstract. Orphic pins it in that last stanza for me.
As I said before, I prefer it to the last couple fo your hybridanelles, which I found more heavily sombre, but that is just from personal mood stance, I guess- yours and mine .
I don't know quite why, but I saw this as a burst of sparks, like you see when you press upon your eyes. Yes, I like this one. -
Very technical. How long did it take? I like it though, great imagery.
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crystaldust 12-10-05 21:31
I can't help feeling, Erin Thomas, that had C G Jung read this hybridanelle reflecting the music and movements of the subconscious he would have wanted to have written it himself. And that, in case you don't realise it, is an enormous compliment! The form is far too complicated for me to use, but I get a tremendous kick out of the way you use it. Shall take quite a time to digest its subtleties. Am looking forward to doing that.
Edited on Oct 12, 2:50 p.m. because ''. -
I enjoyed reading your poem thanks for sharing
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wow that is so awesome... just wow
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