for months he stayed there
inside the comfortable shell
free of worries
he knew nothing of the other side
so innocent of the unknown
until an earthquake roused him
he was terribly afraid
not knowing what to do
he closed his eyes
for a long time
all he could see
was the blinding darkness
the soft crumbling
of the earth
was concealed by his deafening scream
the shell slowly cracked
and exposed the tiny creature
to the life outside
his only armor collapsed
and unable to protect him
he was naked
so vulnerable
but he didn’t want to go out
he remained inside his splintered shell
days and nights passed by
yet he did not stir
from where he was
he could see black clouds consuming the sun
and the day overcoming the night.
he caught minute glimpses
of the flowers in full bloom
he could hear
the trees rustling in the wind
a wonderful melody
coming from a distant place
was lulling him to deep slumber
curiosity got the better
of the tiny creature
and he nervously
took the first step
out of his haven
at first he wanted to retreat
and go back to his empty shell
but he saw life
teeming on the other side
flowers smiling
butterflies swimming in the air
lizards timidly dozing beside a rock
earthworms dancing sensually in the dust
he decided to go on
walking as fast
as his fragile legs
can take him
and he grew bolder
with each step
his heart fluttered
he was in love
with his new found world
and the shell lay abandoned
it was just a tiny fragment of his past
that he didn't want to remember
the other side
had a rhythm
so much like his own
at last the little creature
has found a place
where he belongs.
Author notes
I am a 16-year old girl from the Philippines.
The poem is really about discovering new things. About growing up and all that.
I commented on:
After school fun by Ponytails2
Vision of Faeries by AerinAlanna
Two view from a bike by TCKansasKate
Written October 9th, 2005
A contest entry
- A Contest for Teenagers (13-19 years old). by Anna Emkah.
300 points, ended October 14, 2005, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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aww this is incredible! i like how you took something so simple and made it so elegant.
he decided to go on
walking as fast
as his fragile legs
can take him
and he grew bolder
with each step
you switched tenses there, from past (decided) to present (can) so you might want to consider changing it to could?
I really like these lines:
his heart fluttered
he was in love
with his new found world
and the shell lay abandoned
it was just a tiny fragment of his past
that he didn't want to remember
Keep it up! You're really talented :] It was kind of novelesque, yet poetic, and very powerful. :]
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thank you!!
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wow, thanks for appreciating my poem
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Wow, this was really good! I really love how its not just a poem but its also a story, and the way you described it!! This is truly a great right!!
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I liked this. Living on the edge type of thing. The hting i liked most about this was your imagery, I think you phrases it well and it flowed nicely. Good work!
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thanks a lot!!
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-_-' pretty long one. But I liked reading it
It's like ... well, don't quite know how to explain. Encouraging to leave your safe home, family, lover, to do something maybe dangerous...
-_-' whatever. I liked your poem -
thank you. i'm glad you liked it..haha..=)
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This is an interesting write. It reminded me of our little chicks how they came out of their egg shells and discovered the world. For people happens the same thing of course when they leave their house for the very first time. This is a lovely poem. Well done.
Anna.
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