scattered thoughts
volume of poetry
lines my heart~
Author notes
Written October 7th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku's by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended October 8, 2005, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
Excellent
Wonderful creation, such a great haiku. Thank you for sharing.
-
very well written
You say so much here Sis. I like the vision that is created by your last line, "lines my heart". I have never read that before.
Great write!
Ethereal Melody
-
Susan, educate me, okay? What's the difference between a haiku and a senyru? They both have 3 lines, but maybe it's the number of syllables? Anyway, I like what you say here a lot. And I can imagine that your heart IS filled with poetry!
-
So few words written yet such power they hold. A bold statment can be made with just a few mere words and without great detail. Few words leave the reader to form their own thoughts and conclusion to such writes even though the sentiment within this particular piece is so very evident.
Blessings
celticmoon -
I so love doing Senyru's.. So much power and presence can be found in short pieces....this one is lovely.
Nicole -
not familiar with forms myself, but what I do know is that the brevity of this form has allowed you to shoot the emotion right at the reader, but quietly and softly. it's not to know how you feel, but you feel it.
I truly enjoy reading your poems...and I'll be back for more and more! thank you again!!!
Jo -
You don't know how beautiful it is to read your poetry again, it is truly an awesome sight I must come back tomorrow and appauld this and your other poem... I ran out tonight
... you are very much loved and admired Sis, I hope you know this. Again, this is a masterpiece and I absolutely love it! Sara
-
Nicely done, i like the haiku poems, i can tell that u really like to write.
-
good job
Nice. I think this could work better with punctuation, but all in all, good job. -
Not really a fan of haiku, always leaves me with more questions than I want to worry my little head with but I liked this. It's probably against the spirit of the form to try to explain it, but I get the essence, being a wanton, with no direction whatsoever but focus in the poetry volume paves a definite road. Very nice read. Thank you.
-
sublime
I love haiku, and the nontraditional ones can be even trickier. One question, should the last line be "lines my heart" ? Just wondering. It captures a beautiful thought and I really think it is wonderful
-
Thank you all for the comments
No I didn't write this in the hospital but saw it after I got home and penned it the book picture is compliments of google.
Again thank you all for the comments
Love n hugs
Susan~~~
-
good lord woman
did you actually write this while you were in the hospital?
is there anything you cannot do?
this is lovely
you know that the shorter forms
are my favourites
this one especially touched my heart.
love you susan!
~liz -
Nicely written Senyru Susan, drawing the inspiration from life or from within your heart.... Sherry
-
short, simple and absolutly beautiful. I love all the thoughts that come across from these few lines. just beautifully done.
-
Dear Molly,
I didn't comment on this earlier because it was listed as a contest poem but I see you've removed it from contest.
I can understand your having scattered thoughts my love. I think, given your circumstances, that you are doing a Herculean job managing to concentrate at all.
My sis is not very good either so I am praying hard for both of you.
A great little senryu. Splendid effort. Atta girl!!
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh. -
As always you say so much with so few works. You have captured my thoughts exactly on this one Susan. Good to see you writing again ....
Linda
-
This is beautiful, a voice from the trees that caresses us. Wonderfully done.
-
I just read queens Haiku and now yours, I liked both very much
-
Beautiful and so true for so many poets!
Wow Susan! This is a deep very profound and beautiful 3-6-3 haiku. I really like it. I'm sure it's a reflection of the time you have recently gone through. I've been praying for you to get well asap. The cover of the book which is visible here is gorgeous and resonates very deep in my heart...it's reminding me of the beautiful Autumn I spent last year in America which I am really really missing...but I guess God has His reasons for everything.
((((((((HUGS)))))))) and
Charishma -
So glad you're feeling better and writing again. Yes, I too have scattered thoughts that I am compelled to write to free myself.
-
You sum up exactly the way poems are for me. I have all these thoughts that drive me crazy until i write them down Fantastic
-
Your heart is a poem, Sweetheart! If we are going to have lines, these are ultimately the only ones that work for me. LOL (love you!)
-
This is lovely Susan!! It's so wonderful to see you writing, sharing those "scattered thoughts" so beautifully with us!! I wish you the best in this contest!! Karen
-
Simply lovely. So glad you're doing a bit better.
All my love,
~Amanda~
-
Hmmm, excellent. I just got into the habit of writing haikus, and have stuck to the 5-7-5 rule...but you went for 3-6-3...great job! It just comes to show your talent at writing...which is a reason why I am wishing you the best of luck in the contest.
Our thoughts do remain scattered on this earth and seem to form their own book of poetry, don't they? Keep up the great work! -
Very lovely as always. How have you been dear?
-
Completely wonderful senyru. I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit better. You are getting very good at these haiku/senyrus. Wishing you all the best in the contest.
s and ♥
from your Sis
~Sally~ -
Beautiful Susan, Wonderful words you have written, hope you are feeling a bit better, just don't overdo it though. I love the cover of your book, Keep writing your wonderful poems my sweet.
Hugs Joan
-
I'm glad your back, Susan and that you're feeling even a little bit better. I've missed you. I know you probably don't feel much like writing anything very long, but you know how we all love your Haiku's and they take less time .... this one is so lovely
You take care, Sis, and take it easy .....we want you up and running soon In the meantime get all the rest that you can and just relax.
Love and
Dee
-
Hi, great to see you back, this is great, all the best in the comp my friend, hugs Di
-
Really good.
You do this well and mine is this. Today is weak. But then I.
Will Be Stronger. Keep that thought in mind. You write these very well too and I like these little ditties.
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
