There are days so despairing As the feelings sweep me away Into an endless nocturnal child of thunder cries Oh, so silent against the night My soul labors to breathe... Swinging at full speed to crash against me With sheets of flaming, searing pain Internal angst, smiles of loving gratitude mixed in, Heat beams slash prospects of deliverance Slowly disappearing Slowly disappearing When earth belongs to the air Whose pleasant pestillence voice Eludes the forever heart Dawn becomes a fiery, brilliant red silhouette Blood moon emotion succumbs and crumbles Freezing lure fishes, oh valiant arc of heart Although reason reighs Feelings Die to expire but can't... When love is real. There must be some things worth ___ing for... Somewhere in the spirit of man Without waiting for the smoke to clear... No Deathaniel No... There has to be a way to restore the Dark, cold wind of linear light! Shining in a darkness descending, devolving Into an age of cold intellect We lay supine with our math books Eating fallen apples that eat our brains Fire suddenly leaps from building to building Sacred synapses Atoms explode in our cortex veins, Yet I fear not the painful exodus to come For my heart was broken long ago, as was my body... Then my broken got broken That's why I love Life on other planets (we of the minority opinion are the other planets).
Author notes
Just more ranting & craziness...I admit it...I'm going nuts. LOL! But I do love...
Written October 6th, 2005
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I think you're right. A curse in a perfect disguise. I remember the day I realized I had my feelings back, after being bumb from abuse as a child. Being sober ignited my compassion and God healed me. But then this happened. But beauty abounds in the dark night of the soul. Just can't see it, but you know it's there. Yeah, I wish (in a way) you had a way to crack the blinds...but the blinds are there for a purpose, I suppose. I write. You write. That's whaT WE are. Peace Through Love. ET Timothy
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If you look up poet in the dictionary, surely it has to be written that we are all souls living on the edge of sanity. It is because we feel so deeply that we write. A blessing and a curse. I have been to where I felt nothing at all. I would rather feel pain everyday than face that emptiness again.
Death has many forms, the physical is the least of my worries.
Your poem has taken me on a journey. I ache for the darkness you feel and wish I had a way to crack the blinds.
Mary Ann
Edited on Oct 24, 1:36 p.m. because ''. -
I placed your number in my cell phone. You can delete it here (pronanly wise). Thank you...I gotta run. I'm super tired from moving today and contending with worn and raw emotions...but I want to read poetry tonight. Besides, I don't want to be alone whem I'm feeling so sad. OK, gotta fly. If I get the guts, I'll call you on the way to Minneapolis. I am used to pouring my heart into poetry, but am a bit wondering how to handle talking to someone who is a sensitive soul and who knows so much of my personal pain. I am honored you are willing to talk. Peace Through Love, my friend. Timothy
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There so much longing and pain deep within this... If this is you going nuts.. well let's just say you do it ever so gracefully. You are such a passionate writer Timothy. I find my self lost in your poems... Wanting to understand them more. I wish only that I could ease your pain. Your loss has broken your heart. it is so apparent. And being the wonderful and charming person that you are... I only wish there was some way to help your healing process. Though I know that there is no way to do that... other than to be here to chat with you. I have read very few poets work here that has touched me the way yours has. There is such beauty in it. I adore you... Simply adore you. Anywho.. I ahve taken up enough of your page with my rambling on and on and on... So I will go...
Always...
Melanie
Edited on Oct 08, 10:09 p.m. because ''. -
Grief is something I know in its depths. Much of my eternity, my soul itself, has been drenched in the blanket of sky without stars or company or understanding...but I sense deep down that God is taking me to myterious and beautiful places. Please pray for my broken heart. My suffering should not be in vain. I simply live and die...with my music still in me. Sigh. Peace Through Love. ET Timothy
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Thanks Justine...my heart is strecthed to the limit, broken, my soul is wounded, yet I can laugh and smile (and mean the smile sometimes and mean the laughter most of the time). I have learned the meaning of many different types of smiles. What a journey. Peace Through Love. ET Timothy
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Well I like your going nuts... I do that daily myself. Someone told me once being a poet I have right to passage or something like that. Powerful powerful write my friend.
Red -
do yourself and the rest of us a huge favor...be nuts more often. this is beautiful.
--J -
I didn't think anyone would comment. I am glad you did.
Yes, I have been hurt a lot. Deeply. But everyone gets hurt. I don't want to say my pain is worse than someone else's pain...but poets are a deep lot. Deep heart=deep joy and/or pain. Mountains and valleys. Balance is important, but so is experiencing the full range of emotions that come from love. Deep sensitivity, sensuality, deep listening...speaking from the heart...you know what I mean.
So, again, thanks for the share. I do appreciate it. Peace Through Love. ET Timothy
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