Joshua ......
Coming from a fucked and dysfunctional home.
I know things get tough, you feel all alone.
You stand there behind a 10 foot high wall,
I remember the feeling, I remember it all...
All I can do now is feel sorry for you,
and hope that you figure the right things to do.
Maybe someday well put all this behind,
remember that blood, is how we're intertwined.
Should I have just turned and walked right away?
Forever? ...... and then maybe I will today.
You need someone now, what am I to do???
In this closet of skeletons that are here from you!
I had your little neck caught in my death grasp.
I felt your heart thunder, I heard your breath gasp.
My mind was a mess like a bomb about to drop,
then I heard a small voice from behind me say 'STOP!'.
'Don't hurt him mommy! That's my uncle Josh!'
'Don't hurt him mommy! That's my uncle Josh!'
The bile began to rise, as I flipped right the fuck out,
I started to scream and I started to shout.....
'Mom, you better come up here!', I somehow struggled to say.
'Cuz, if you don't make it soon, I'll kill him! I don't see another way!'
She entered the room saying,'What the hell is going on up here?'
I told her he was sick and there is only one cure.
Her reaction to me was,'You must be mistaken.'
I really needed for her, to somehow awaken.
I grabbed my two girls and we hurriedly left.
I should have done many things in my retrospect.
I felt like I had to just drive away and hide,
clearing my mind and repeating the word "why"??!!
So, my friend Sue called Bruce and Bruce called me,
wanting an account of my grim reality.
Shaking and sad I walked through the door,
a sign on the doorway said: INTERROGATION ROOM 4.
Across from the table is where Brucie sat,
'This is being recorded miss, I hope you don't mind that'.
'What did you see? Was there any penetration?'
I was yanked so quickly from my induced vacation.
I sat there and told him what my daughter had said.
I told him things I could not get out of my head.
They took Joshua right out of school that same day.
They told me that he would have to be sent away.
Years of counseling and research have left me somewhere,
between understanding and forgiveness and the electric chair.
My poor little girl is still struggling each day,
to put aside his monstrosity, to wash it away.
In the meantime, with love, I can only assure,
that it was all him, it had nothing to do with her.
It's something in my mind that will never be erased.
He took something from my daughter that can never be replaced.
But here we are with time, as wounds begin to heal.
I cover her torn heart with a special love shaped seal.
For my love to be held inside, to heal the poisoned path,
for hope into a future year that she will not feel the wrath.
For what does one do when you are brought down to your knees?
To have so many people gasp at the sounding of your pleas?
We move on with the seasons, we dance with their flow.
We hold onto each other,we wont be taken in the undertow.
We fight and we love and we cry out in passion.
We go on with our lives, in the day to day fashion.
Author notes
*tears* I know this is a bot too long for this contest, but I have had this issue resurfacing and really just needed to put it out there. Thanks for reading!
At looking at the options.. I wasn't quite sure where this one fell.. So I chose 6.
6.) anything else that has to do with rape, assault, or abuse.
Written October 5th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Make Me Cry by Madd Hatter.
300 points, ended June 14, 2006, 42 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape, Abuse, Assault by silencethequestion.
300 points, ended May 5, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Pain Before The Healing {Now Open To Prewrites} by Viyanna Rosemarie.
800 points, ended May 8, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There IS Life After The Abuse {Contest} by Viyanna Rosemarie.
800 points, ended May 1, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Very Well Written (Silver Trophy)
This is very clear from beginning to end. VERY TRAGIC.
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thank you for your entry into this contest. i wish you the best of luck when it comes to the judging. viyanna rosemarie
smile! you are worth it.
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this was a great write and i can really relate to what u are saying and feeling..this poem hit close to home keep writting your very talented good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
very well written. it was great in length dont worry. thank you for entering the contes
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I feel the emotion in this poem. I understand how you feel (sort of) because when I told my mom about the abuse she was kind of shocked. She just started crying and hugged me for a long time. Through the whole thing I felt like my mom was going to have a harder time getting over it than I was. Though you don't really "get over" abuse in any form, you can move on in your life. My family and friends always told me I must be a really strong person to go through that and now try to share my story and help others, but I think it is my mom who is the strong one because through everything she has always been by my side even though I know this is hard for her.
-Meg -
wonderfully done! the imagery is amazing, i really like your word choices and the flow is great! ...Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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I take this poem for granted. I was the victim so I definetly know how it feels. I went through this with several family members. I feel the pain that you went through that day through your words. Thanks for the inspiration.
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for every abused child
and for every adult with their child within
stand loud and proud - this is NOT your sin!
thank you for sharing this and giving others the opportunity to learn about the sad reality
elaine
Edited on Jun 06, 5:30 p.m. because ''. -
this is very powerfully written with a clear content.
must have been an awful thing to have gone through for all involved. I always thought my family was dysfunctional but even ours has never expirianced anything like this so i really have little chance of understanding, but it must have been terriable. well done for writting about it, it must have been difficult to do so -
This kind of thing sickens me.I believe all sex offenders should be shot and hanged.Especially child molesters.I was never molested but I have been in those compromising situations along with being dragged to a floor and forced to do things I did not want to do.I feel for you so very much.If any one ever did these things to my child I would not have been able to restrain myself from brutally murdering him.I really am very sorry for your loss.I know you did not physically lose some one but to lose years of your life,to have it haunt your every dream,so horrible that must be.Keep your head up and love those children like no one has ever loved before.My prayers are with your Children and you.
Thank you for sharing such a tragic story of your life.
Love,
~Krys~ -
in reply to mr hallow
Why would I ever want to write a poem from his point of view? That's his work. You are right in the fact that this is not a courtroom, but this has been through court, and he has reoffended. You must not have any children, but if you can imagine this sickening thing happening to your own child, from your own sibling, and be so empathetic to a sex offender, well then you must have gone down the same path yourself. He has also molested 3 other little girls, keep in mind he is 17 and they were all 6 years old or younger. This all began when he was 13 years old. I have no empathy for sex offenders. NONE. A firing squad is about as close as I get to empathy. I don't mean for this to be so mean spirited or rude, but I guess it struck a nerve with me. This situation ruined my life for 2 years until I could accept it and move on. Sorry for the rant- Rainy
Edited on Jun 05, 9:35 p.m. because ''. -
you are made from some very strong cloth to have survived all of this. I am deeply sorry for your past and wish you, your mother, and your children the most loving happy future possible. Thank you for having the streght to share. beautiful moving poetry.
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Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I am so glad that my poem can reach out to help others cope and understand eachother. It was very hard for me and my mother to work past this, and to accept the fact that Joshua is a habitual offender. We are much closer now, we have gone through the blame and the pain, and mostly the DENIAL of it all. What an awful thing to go through, but it makes you so much stronger in the end. I am sending all of my love to you and your mom, I hope that you can talk more, and more openly, to figure out where your paths will now lead you. Thank you so much for making my writing worth something, I mean REALLY worth something. ~ Harper
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now I finally know how my mom felt when I told her what my dad had been doing to me for so long. thankyou for the insight. this hit a raw nerve for me and my mom and now we're actually talking about how we feel about the experience. thishelped me and my mom become closer. thankyou so much you can't imagine how this just affected my life
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Its not a courtroom here
saddens me why does it happen to the most vunerable?Could you write another from Joshuas pov? -
I can totally relate to your poem sad to say, though I think if more of us would step foward to show the predators they aren't going to win, there would be less of them, the thing is just like me I feared for my life.Brandy3
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This is so intense and captivating. You have expressed the situation and your emotions and thoughts so clearly. I am in awe as I try to express how I am affected in this comment.
I can empathise with your reaction. Not only is your daughter healing, so are you. God bless you and keep you from such horrific things in the future.
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I just wanted to add that this was one of the most cathartic poems I have ever written. I held all this in for more than two years. I felt so much lighter having gotten it out. Anyone can talk in the open about addiction, any type- even sex addiction- but bring up the word incest, and the world runs from you with averted eyes and misplaced judgement. I believe that sexual assault involving a family member is very confusing, and it hurts because you love the individual, versus being raped by a stranger.(I'm not meaning to take away from that type of pain here)It is just different. Thank you to all who have commented on this, I appreciate the feedback immensely. ~ Rainy
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This was such a concise expression of raw hurt....Good luck in the contest
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Moving, brave and heartbreaking write, my hat is off and my heart is in my mouth. Stunningly raw. God bless you and your daughterx
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Very powerful write
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Hello. I think this could have fit under another one of the options too...why do bad things happen to good people. But that's beside the point. This is terrible...not poetically, of course...but the story. I'm glad you're there for your daughters, at least...the road to being healed is easier to pave when you've got support and love on the road crew.
When you say,
"Years of counseling and research have left me somewhere,
between understanding and forgiveness and the electric chair."
I can definitely understand why it'd be hard to forgive...I'm not sure something like that could ever be forgiven. I couldn't forgive him in your place.
Thank you for entering...I think it's very brave of you to share this with the allpoetry community and I wish you the best of luck in life.
-Meg
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Ummm, wow.
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You go girl!
I got as far as the interrogation room. Yes, this is a very very good poem-story. One of the best I've read so far. I'm not an expert, but I feel like you could do something with this...like win first prize..\
Anyway, I'll book mark this one. And I will finish it, probably tonight. Haven't slept for almsot 30 hrs. -
Very well written. Very sad poem though. You did a wonderful job writing it. Very emotional poem. You can feel the pain and hurt as you read it. Keep up the good work.
Desyre -
............*I'm speechless*... omg... it must have been such a traumatic time for both your daughter and you. the emtion just reeks out of this poem. It is simply awesome. It's one of the most powerful things I've ever read so far. wow
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Beautiful
The entirety of this is very beautiful write. It conveys the feeling and story wonderfully. If it had to be summed up in a single word it would have to simply be: Wow. This is powerfully written and leaves me in awe.
As for errors you might want to capitalize your I's and such, but then I'm a stickler for such things. -
Well - what a painful and strong piece of work! Fomr a seriously dysfunctional family of my own, I can relate to the pain and frustration ... and the healing. Thank you for sharing.
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I am heartfully speechless...what a painfully raw write.
It encompasses all that a mother would feel, I commend you for
sharing this.
Well written, and powerful.
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oh my goodness!
that is so intens.
i think i would have killed him,i can understand why you would want to.
i am so sorry you and your little girl had to go thru that. that is not fair or right.
i hope she and you are doing better.
the poem itself is excellent,rhythm and rhyme is perfect.
great job and good luck with the contest -
Ouch. I don't know what to say...I can relate to the wanting to kill the guy...I'm not sure if I could hold back. The emotion in this is top notch, I could hear the anger getting heavier and heavier as the write went on. I hope that your daughter rises above that monstrosity.
Very well written! Good luck in the contest!
~Meli~
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very emotional
Oh my gosh, this is just the saddest thing I've ever read. I can totally understand why you wanted to kill him. If I was on the jury, I wouldn't convict you. A superb write. Damn, the emotion you expressed is just phenominal. My heart and prayers go out to you.........Hugs, doc -
it sounds like you are well on your way to healing...it's a very tragic write, but having read this i can only sense the true therapeudic value writing this had for you.
Jo -
I give you a because I can feel the powerful words, behind this. The anguish,frustration,rage,sorrow. Why because my daughter went through this a year November. But this is the first step of healing let the public know. Great job. Thanks for sharing.My prayers are with you and your family. Brenda
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oh my god...i am SOOOO sorry your daughter had to experience this, as well as you. i've dealt with something similar, but not to the extreme like your daughter. my heart is with you both!
i can't seem to distinguish a favorite part, cuz i really thought the whole thing was good. it was so emotional, i could feel your rage, and the sadness you felt for your daughter. you did a really good job with this!
Thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest!
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