I'm having one of those days,
Hope it's only a brief phase.
Walking around in a daze,
Feel like I'm stuck in a maze.
Auto Pilot is the phrase
That describes my current craze.
I need clear communiques,
Don't want any more delays.
This foggy mood of today's
Befuddlement never pays
To help to my fuzzy haze.
I think I will reappraise.
I'm trying to change my ways
And give my spirits a raise.
My sight's just a blurry glaze,
I'd like to view the sun's rays.
See the beautiful bright blaze,
Clear images that amaze.
Smell lovely scents of bouquets,
Jolt me out of this malaise!!!
Author notes
Written October 5th, 2005
A contest entry
- Pre-Written Rhyme Anyone? No Trophies by piccola.
900 points, ended January 28, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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really wonderful word play. I'm rolling over and over as I enjoy the image too. They go so well together. Thank you for entering
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Monorhyme, a tough form to follow. You've done it very well without repetition. (except for 'phase') This flowed nicely considering the constriction of the rhyme scheme. I love the picture, too funny! Thanks for entering.
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TY, Cthulhu. Couldn't get that past you, with one 'phase' at the beginning and another at the very end! Well, smarty pants, I've changed the last 'phase' to malaise
nana nana boo boo!
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lol this was really cool. i loved the flow and the rhyme and how the last word had the same sound to it. it made the poem flow really well and it made the poem unique and stand out.
i love the picture that goes with it and altogether i just loved the poem
really well written well done
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Yes you must get your kopf zusammen and not be so thinking of the may ways to make all the rhyme the same one or so Barty says. I hope this pays.
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Hilariously Awesome
I got some good chuckles outta this poem but I am even more amazed at how you rhymed every first andf second line together through out every stanza, a very well penned poem and I can see why this was picked as a front spot light covere dpoem. keep up the good work and keep on penning those ebautiful poems =) -
Great poem, I really wish I could rhyme like that and make the poem good like you did. The poem flows really nicely as your reading it, no awkard pauses or cuts in the lines. This is a great poem!
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Oh wow. Look at all the rhyming words! I could never do that and actually have my poem make sense; I'm impressed. =)
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Wow, this is the first poem I have seen of this type and it was most appealing, well worthy of it's featuring well done
Karen -
My these has found those too
nichtmich (as I read it when a name tag, true, you're not me),
"Muddled Monorhyme" is not a landslide of lopsided feelings as there's more than a trip of that by putting the foot out, when wanting to reach out for help in the end, and more than rumor it can be heard alright cry.
The beginning is recognizing positively resiliency is known after negative energy. But reinforcing factors may be considered so you can "Hope it's only a brief phase."
The second stanza seems to see the loss occuring at the expense of creativity or well thought out things for speed basics of expectations :
"Auto Pilot is the phrase"
but the road may be known but not by scenery it seems for other causes.
So, superimposed shock of analysis doesn't straighten out the nonlinear lines :
"Befuddlement never pays
To help to my current haze."
True to not guarantee rut almost.
The pause for steps instead of run of the mill is felt at :
"My sight's just a blurry glaze,
I'd like to view the sun's rays."
and that is a glare that can clear a little, lol!
You end it so decently not wanting to be ignoring things to appreciate and there are various sorts simple in nature literally or not :
"Clear images that amaze.
Smell lovely scents of bouquets,"
which reflects a gathering of it even or accepting gifts of the garden starts.
It's tried to be kept at just one of those days, and I'll spotlight a thought that should be sought to last.
~Carolyn -
Loved this. I'm having one of thoses days. I don't know why but it made me laugh.
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Thanks, Star. Hope you have fun with ALL the entries
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Whoa, I was -Cool Oasis- when i commented on this, great poem once again Grossmutti, good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
Merry Christmas
Star Of The Night
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Thanks Cool, it's one of my favorites
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Thanks for your encouraging comments. I wrote is about myself, but it also applies to my husband, he has an inoperable brain tumor. After a seizure, he is unable to think or articulate clearly for a period of time. Like you, in between these fuzzy periods, he enjoys life to the hilt Thanks again.
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Gossmutti, this was indeed another nicly written piece. I think I've read almost all of your stuff and always enjoy them. I espscially relate to this one. I suffer from chroic brain swelling, which make my me unable to think clearly for a couple of weeks durning each episode. SoI can feel this piece very well. thanks and thank you for the correction on the long road home. I need a full time editot.Image and Visions … Dare to dream, and have the courage to do that what others only dream of
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This is great Grossmutti, I love the ..ays, well, that sound anyway, it's really effective, well done with this. The picture is oh so cute, little mouse on such a cute cat, awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
best wishes as always
-Cool Oasis-
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THANK YOU !!! Looks like you're the first to read this one Really appreciate it
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very nice and well formed expressed poetic and rhymes so nice
very complete poem you wrote here, thank you for sharing and
good Luck ..Linda
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