on the edge

you know it's hard to move on
when your eyes are always starring into mine for some sort of approval i'll never be able to give again
it's hard to put the past behind me when i was so used to it
and i love it now, but i can't compare with the feeling that i had before
maybe it was an equation of time
i'll give it time, just give it time, is what they all say
the simple critics with their tongues all tied in knots
can't say anything to me, this is a problem they can't solve
with their words or pills
but for once i'd like to swallow the past in a little convex shape
forget all of the pains which are bound to come again
cause every things a lot easier if you don't know what's coming
regret and disappointment lie on the line
and i know it, cause i never cared enough about the past to prepare for the future
so bring it on the dazed out state of mind, i'm ready for indulgence of a new kind
i need to subdue something that i never thought i would
take away everyone that i love
cause i can't stand to see them in pain
i can't help what i seem to do, i'm like a natural disaster, i have no self control
i dive into indulgences which should remain untouched
my hearts so impulsive and full of regrets that i'll never admit
i'm only winding myself up for a break down
i'll snap and i'll twist into shards so fragile
you won't know i exist and that's the way i like it
alone and on the floor, my usual home
even if i have nothing to complain about
i'm always crawling on the floor
searching for a reason to beat myself up
and then i pick myself up again
with another bottle, another drink, or a infatuation short and brief
i'm a wreck, i'm a disaster, but you will never know