Picture is at allpoetry.com/contest/1544633
I walk on dreams
Listening with my soul.
Waiting for the moment,
When all the world’s whole.
Only by chance
Am I here today.
Abiding in shadows,
These words to say:
Into The Light
Flying on wind
Grasping the ring
Circling this life.
Waiting for love
Breaching the wall
Tearing down pain
Mending the strife.
I know the way
Keeping to the path.
Rev’ling in your joy
Sharing your laugh.
Chance has no share
In what we have here.
Abiding in clouds
Casing out fear:
Into The Light
Flying on wind
Grasping the ring
Circling this life.
Waiting for love
Breaching the wall
Tearing down pain
Mending the strife.
Do not be deceived
For life is but fleeting.
Tearing our love
Our hearts barely beating.
Keep to the path
Towards what’s everlasting
Come share my life
As we break life’s fasting.
Into The Light
Flying on wind
Grasping the ring
Circling this life.
Waiting for love
Breaching the wall
Tearing down pain
Mending the strife.
Author notes
Written for the contest 'Picture /Title' by Legend
I used a title, but the picture is what inspired this.
Did not win.
Entered in the contest "Lyrics Only" by Shadyrose
I am not really sure what prompted this, other than the picture. It was based on a tune by Deep Forest, so I guess it would be New Age/Celtic.
Written October 3rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Great!
This was quite enjoyable Rous! I loved the songlike rhythm. It was simply great. The message being conveyed was even better! Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you in the contest!
Stacy
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Thank you Herman. As always, I welcome your comments. I am glad you like it.
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Thank you. Since it is inspired by both picture and title, it is too bad I cannot use the picture. But, that is the price of having no money. LOL
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Thank you. I tried.
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What a masterpiece This delightful write. The balance is so fantastic and that makes it more powerful and stronger. One of the favorites of this contest that brought the best out of us all Great done my friend Herman
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I enjoyed the rhythm. It took on a journey. I read the poem first and then saw the picture. I was blown away once I saw and it fitted the poem exactly how it should have. Nice Work
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Good work.. it so well incorporated with ur title and the pic. good that u used both
All the best dear
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I like that you have used both the title and the picture - a very interesting poem has resulted. It is filled with emotion, touching and very powerful. The repetition works well here. Well done and the best of luck in the contest.
Keep well. -
A well written poem, with the added bonus of using both the title, and the picture, don't know wich this fits best though, as it seems to apply equally well to both. well done,
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Hi Rous, I loved this write is says so much of a deep feeling, it touches the heart and soul, you have a lot of talent and it is always a pleasure to read your work, all the best in the comp a big hug DI
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I try to put a bit of myself in all my songs. This was not my best effort, formwise, but I do think it is more from my heart. I have only one other song that was written from that deep, and it is gratifying to sing to myself and realize that I live with the inspiration. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Awesome write!
Rous, you not only wrote using a given title and the graphic, I've a very good notion you've added a blessed part of yourself to the attibutes listed in this excellent pen! Wishing you all the best in this contest! Blessings, Sandi
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You are most kind. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Delightful~
A perfeclty delightful poem to read, think on and revel in. LOVED the use of the title AND picture inspriation here. Best of luck in this contest. Truly a wonderful entry. ~Pam
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Thank you. I appreciate the reading and the commenting. I am glad you liked it.
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This is a nice poem. I especially like the last stanza's.
Do not be deceived
For life is but fleeting.
Tearing our love
Our hearts barely beating.
Keep to the path
Towards what’s everlasting
Come share my life
As we break life’s fasting.
Beautifully done. Anna.
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Thank you kindly for your remark. If I ever find the right music, I will set it to it. I appreciate the reading and the commenting.
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This was a very pleasant read and had all the undertones of a lyrical piece. I could easily see this put to some music. You have some great lines here for it. Good luck in the contest!
♥ Touchof1der -
Quite alright. I am glad that it was so obvious that you realized that without the note. I am more a visual person. I work better with a picture. And, usually I do not write songs without music playing, but, this one kind of wrote itself. Eh, who can control the muses?
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This is a great combination of what seems like inspiration gained from the picture and than the words those of one of the titles. The repetition ( chorus0 gave it that extra something to draw the reader in. Well done and best wishes in the contest,
Reenie
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oops, please forgive me ...it is early am and I did not read your author note where you did expain that you used the picture and a a title...so I had a "blonde moment'
Reenie
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Thank you. I appreciate the reading and the commenting.
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This is a great combination of what seems like inspiration gained from the picture and than the words those of one of the titles. The repetition ( chorus0 gave it that extra something to draw the reader in. Well done and best wishes in the contest,
Reenie
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I am glad you liked it. I am also glad that the scheme works for you. It is actually an abcbefgf in the verse and bridge and abcdefgd in the chorus. But, with music, you can fudge it a bit. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
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Yes I liked it as well, the chorus is very moving and I like the way you've used the title in the chorus. I like how you've done short bursts of lines in the chorus, makes each line stand out, very good. I loved "circle this life", and how you didn't make a perfect rhyme, but merely made the sound similar "ring/wind" "light/life" "here/share". Maybe put "casing" as casting"
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Thank you. It is one of my songs with no music. Someday I may find it, but for now, it stands on its own merits. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
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Rous This really is a wonderful read so song like in it quality perhaps its the repeated Chorus that give this feeling
I can see the influence of the Image in the work,but have to say I think the fact that you chose the title instead was the correct decision well done Good luck in the contest
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1 - 27 of 27
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